Cooper's Siding

Here at Cooper's Siding, we believes us in some good ol' down home hard workin' values. We can make your trailer look like a double wide, lickity-split. Wheeee-Doggy! Now if your home is beginning to look like your cupboards round bout the middle of the month, then call cooper's siding.

We will bring our home right up in your front yard and park it there til we finish the job.

Purdy dang fancy eh? Heck fire, we even bring the youngins down there. I bet y'all aint ever seen a rugrat hawl his weight in vinyl siding. How many other companys would do that for you? Only Cooper's Siding. Call us right now and we will be there faster than Evarts tick on a blue hound. We dont even slow down for slower moving mammals...Hell, we bring em along and fire up the BBQ. mmmmm, mmmmmmm.

Now, here at Cooper's Siding we also offer a service that is unrivaled in the industry. Do you know an ugly woman? One who is so ugly she has to sneak up on a plate to eat? One who goes home alone at 2am from EVERY bar? One who couldnt get a man if she perspired hundred dollar bills?

Here at Cooper's Siding, we are so good, we can even make the ugly woman look like something you wouldnt mind waking up next to. Now THATS doing some serious siding.

So come on down to Newburg Maryland right off route 301. Look for the big ol white house. Turn left at the welfare babies with three day old kool aid moustaches and there you are.

We accept: Visa, Mastercard, Diners Club, American Express, Discover, Check, Cash, Food Stamps, Green Stamps, Buckets of Chicken, Cigarettes, Small mammals, and purdy shiny things.

We won an award thingie!
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