My current favorite quote courtesy of the late Bill Hicks:
"Today, a young man on acid, realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves...here's Tom with the weather"
The world melts around her turning various shades of red, yellow, orange, and blue. The earth spins in her stomach, an ancient beat pulses in her head. She stares into the vast space around her, a seemingly endless array of universe spread out before her very own eyes. And it sucks her in. Spininng among the stars and moons and planets existing alongside of her own. She doesn't dare look down, but why? For fear of seeing the bottom(maybe there is one)? Looking down never bothered her before. Under different circumstances life would be different. Had everything in life not happened exactly as it has, she, nor the world in her eyes, would be what it was. And her thoughts are washed away, and she flies back down to earth through the expanses of sky, past the dazzling beauty of the millions of stars, and back into her bed. The world melts around her, distorting the ugly things we can't hide from but at least have a choice of watching (acknowledging?). She watches with her eyes closed. The world fade away, blurring into red, yellow, orange, and blue.
She wears her wings, falsy, not believing. She flies, in her mind, through the cities of briliant lights, swilring and twirling, dipping and diving, and letting them surround her, fill her with an artificial sunshine, to chase the night away. She flies, in her mind, to beautiful places she's never been, and will never see. Crying in Mother earth's arms, dancing with the fairies in the vast expanses of her imagination. Hoping for a peace to settle within her, but never letting herself find a quiet space to be herself. Without epectations, without limitations, without any fear, to be fully human. But what does that mean anyway? G o d VS. G o d d e s s. Who am I? Where am I going? Who am I becomming? Do I like who I am? Do I even know? Questions, through drug induced views of life, of love, of anything else he can find to talk about. And that's the day. He chatters, she listens...she escapes, and comes home again...She feels herself falling, but can't change it. Even angels fall....
Night. Eli Wiesel. Memories shoot through her mind, burning and tingling through her illusions. Almost appearing before her, almost touchable, images of the past. And she reaches out for them, almost believing without proof like she's done so many times before. And she reaches out for the past to wrap her in fog and take her back. Back to where she wants to be, but can never find again. And she walks. Wishing, listening, watching-carefully this time so as to appreciatte the things she usually takes for granted, like so many have and so many more still do. She watches the sun rise over the water, watching it cast its luminous reflection across everything lying beneath, signifying some sort of inferiority to the people below her. And she spreads her wings across the land (wind?) and flies above, casting the first shadows of the day leaving the night to its own corner of space and time.
A new wonder is unfolded before her eyes. N e w VS> O l d. Maybe old, but new to the eyes of its beholder. Its the n e w eyes she uses to view the world, a world far more beautiful than she remembers. Removing the layers of ignorance peice by peice and losing track of herself somewhere along the way. She looks into the eyes of the sun god...an intesity most can't bare. To stare into the eyes of their maker, knowing at any moment she could sweep down and take you from this earth to a paradise behind the white dwarves in the sky. A haven where love is love not R i g h t OR W r o n g. Where the water tumbles down upon her from hundreds of feet above, washing away her insecurity and doubt. A place where the night sky shimmers with brilliant silver stars, and a golden moon that reflects on the water. A place where time is obselete and no one hurries through life wanting more and wanting is faster without time to appreciatte what surrounds them. A place where the colors of the sunset melt together to form an extraordinary beauty that almost hurts to watch, and time melts together and washes away.....
She rolls over in her bed, and opens her eyes. Her tears melt her vision like wet paint poured on the sidewalk as she sees the sun setting across a wonderland she knows doesn't exist. She gives herself away, no longer caring, only wishing for one thing, but not knowing what it is...and she stares into the eyes of her maker.
Ode to Bitch (commentary on the meaning)
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Last updated February 2nd, 2001
