| 1. | Tell her it's not her fault. You can never make someone else hurt you. |
| 2. | Tell her she doesn't deserve it. No one ever deserves to be hurt. |
| 3. | Tell her she's not crazy. A person who's been abused often feels upset, depressed, confused, and scared. Let her know these are normal feelings to have. |
| 4. | Don't try to pretend that the abuse isn't happening, or that it isn't that bad. Let your friend know that you take it very seriously; pretending it's no big deal doesn't make it go away. |
| 5. | Tell her good things about herself. Let her know you think she's smart, strong, and brave. Her abuser is telling her she is stupid and tearing down her self-esteem. |
| 6. | Try to help your friend break out of the isolation her abuser has put her in. Keep in contact with her on the phone or by going out with her. |
| 7. | Don't spread gossip--it could put her in danger. |
| 8. | Don't try to make her do anything she doesn't want to (it won't work unless it's her decision). |
| 9. | Encourage her to build a wide support system-- go to a support group, talk to friends and family. |
| 10. | Don't blame her for the abuse or her decisions; leaving an abusive relationship is hard and usually takes a long time. |
| 11. | See if she needs medical attention--she may not realize the extent of her injuries. |
| 12. | Give her good information about abuse--you can call your local crisis line and get information and support. |