~ Domestic Violence .. A Choice Of Fears ~

Fear is something we all know in the normal walks of life,
yet a part of the normal survival routine in the day of a battered wife
Afraid to walk, afraid to talk, to be ourselves at all
never knowing what we will do to cause our next big “fall”.

Could it be our cooking or the way we wear our hair?
Maybe it’s the clothes we wear, perhaps they’ve too much”flair”?
Perhaps we’re not quite smart enough or fall short in glamour looks
the way we waxed the kitchen floor, or arranged a shelf of books.

We strive to reach perfection, our mission to get it “right”,
whatever it takes to avoid the pain which results in every fight.
We tell ourselves it’s only a matter of time, then we will surely be,
what “he” wants, what “he” needs, and our value he’ll surely see.

They plant self doubt within us, and secure it with our fears,
they give us their “love”, then hand us the blame along with many tears.
We fail to see we help them along and aid in many ways,
we silently give them our power, each and every day.

We lucky ones seem to find the strength to survive a brutal beating,
but funny how our strength does fade, with the thought of ever leaving.
With fear and confusion our only friends, we are blind to clearly see
the strength is there within us, and from the pain we CAN break free!

Each of us must make a choice between two of our worst fears,
it doesn’t matter which one we choose, for with both we’ll shed some tears.
When reality hits and we realize we must put up a fight...
Risk the chance of a painful death or become masters of our own plight.

Our choices seem so unfair, for we want to have it all...
But what will it take for us to hear that final safety call?
Being alone is scary, but do we really want to die?
The answer came for me the night, I heard my CHILDREN’S cries...

Written by Tammy K. Johnson©
<aka AngelEyes>
(While in a women's shelter in SE South Dakota, February 6, 1996)

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To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.
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