Gripes of the Ghostman

Column 9, Volume 2

JUST SHUT UP!

Friends, excuse me while I quote The Rock. Ahem. I'm getting sick and tired of all the roo-dee poo (dramatic pause), candy ass jabronies who won't shut their damn mouths and don't know their damn roles!

Just recently (11:07 PM, 3-2-99), I was watching WXYZ Channel 7's 11:00 O' Clock Actions News. There was a story about how the average age of criminals is getting younger. Well, a reporter was telling us of a 13 year-old boy who killed a 57 year-old man. The reporter said the boy would remain in juvenile hall until he was 19 and then he had a chance for parole, or could spent the next twenty years in prison.

Then the anchor, said something to the effect of: "Let's hope we can get him back, the system's no place for kids, it's too rough on them"

While this may be true, he just ruined a good report by editorializing!

Forgive me if I'm not mistaken, but you're the anchor aren't you? Shut your mouth and know your role chump. Any four-year old can do what you do. No one cares what you have to say. Read your script and go home.

Secondly, don't editorials come at the end of the broadcast? Aren't they done by the General Manager or at least someone of importance to the station? I'm pretty sure that they do. When you're on, you read the news. Calmly, and without your personal views, slants or spins! This is a basic broadcast news delivery lessons.

That said, let's move on to other things.

I realized something a few days ago while I was driving around in my joke of a car. Most of my fans (all three of them) in Michigan in will probably agree with me on this. It feels like every station is just going through the motions. It's the same ten songs over and over and over and over again! Just in case you're wondering, here are those ten songs:

1. Slide- The Goo Goo Dolls (Run away, slide, who cares?).
2. Thank You- Alanis Morrissette (How `bout not makin' my ears bleed when you shriek?).
3. Black Hole Sun- Soundgarden (this is sad because Soundgarden has been broken up for three or four years now).
4. It's All Been Done- Barenaked Ladies (I don't have a real problem with the song, but it's been played to DEATH!).
5. My Name Is...- Eminem (Again, no problem with the song, but hearing it five times on four different radio stations within a two hour period is silly).
6. Crush- Dave Matthews Band (Been there, done it. You're better than that Dave!).
7. Never There- Cake (Drop the skank. You'll be better off without the Ice Bitch!).
8. Jumper- Third Eye Blind (Put the past away and shut up).
9. Got The Life- Korn (No problem with Korn or the song, but there are other, newer heavy metal songs that deserve a shot!).
10. This Kiss - Faith Hill (The song is criminal).

Speaking of my insanity and the reasons for it. I just want to tell my fellow motorists the following:

GREEN MEANS GO!!!

Thank you.

I've been in the hobby shops buying books for my Rifts RPG. I highly recommend the following Rifts supplements:

1. World Book Eight: Japan.
2. Rifts Mercenaries.
3. World Book Fourteen: New West.
4. World Book Eleven: Coalition War Campaign.
5. Sourcebook Four: Coalition Navy.
6. Conversion Book Two: Pantheons of the Megaverse.
7. Dimension Book Four: Scraypers.
8. Dimension Book One: Wormwood.
9. World Book Five: Triax and the NGR
10. World Book Three: England.

I can't wait for Rifts: Canada! I hope Palladium doesn't drop the ball on it like they did Australia. Admittedly, I don't own Rifts: Australia and haven't really read it. But flipping through and reading a snippet here and there didn't make me interested in picking it up. Maybe if I were more into magic, I'd want it. Either way, all the hype, to me was pointless noise. Oh well.

Because no one demanded it, here is the Silly-Ass quote of this column!

"Pickles will clog the drain if you're not careful"

One last thing that's pissing me off. All these recent Teens In Turmoil movies are starting to chaff my ass!

It started innocently with, believe it or not, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and has since degenerated into the current soft-core porn of Cruel Intentions. Yeah, can I pay $7.50 to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and some skinny, unknown wuss-boy destroy an innocent girl's heart? I think I heard somewhere in one of the film's trailers that Buffy and Wuss-boy are brother and sister. The prize for crushing the Innocent Girl's heart is that Wuss-boy gets to screw Buffy. Weird. While we're at it, can we have some piece of crap garage band slaughter perhaps the best song The Smiths have ever done (How Soon is Now?) and put it on the soundtrack?

I think I need to take a stress reduction class!

Enough. I am tired. I will now go to sleep. Stay safe, sane, and above all, true to yourself. Do come again.

Good News and Bad News | Living in a Paradox | Just Shut Up! | My Apologies | Nothing is Permanent
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