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~Ramblings of a MadWoman OnLine~
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Like anyone who writes,words will mean something only to them.Here are some of my prose starting with this first one that won myself an honorable mention and from there I was off and running.
Flecks of Gold
The tears run swift and run calm.
He sees them gathering in her crystal blue eyes with flecks of gold.
Gathering the storm.
Tears that fall as clear as pain.
So many times she prayed as she turns away.
You were not supposed to be here.
In my heart.
Wisdom was the gain.
Never to allow this desperate heart to feel love again.
She lays awake in the night alone.
Talks with the moon.
The moon brings the light and shines on her heart.
Keeps her from falling in love.
He looks in to her eyes and loves only her.
Copyright ©2003 Marushka(mistycool)
Death Grip
There she stood naked.
Her heart in her hand.
Offering herself To him.
Nothing to hide
He scoffed at Her whimsical notion.
Heart and Love was not his potion.
The Heat was on.
It was burning.
Her world in his grasp.
Never would he release this clasp.
Gaze of poison.
Kiss of death.
His substance was control.
And if she was lucky.
She would leave his company.
She heard the devil was walking next To him.
And to his cold heart she was just a whim.
Copyright ©2003 Marushka(mistycool)
~Never to know her~
Some said she had to much class.
Some said she had a fat ass.
Some said she lacked grace.
Some said she had a pretty face.
Some said she was so funny.
Some said she had no money.
Always passed by.
Some said she was their heart.
Some said she was not smart.
Some said it was not the right time.
Some said her passion was a crime.
Some said she was pure lust.
Some said I shall leave you in my dust.
Always passed by.
Some said she did enslave them.
Some said she let them be to free.
Some said 'who made you?'
Some said you cry baby,boo hoo.
Some said you spin like a dynamo.
Some said baby more,more,moe.
Always passed by.
Some said she walked funny.
Some said Be my honey.
Some said breasts like a playboy bunny.
Some said get away from me,you dummy.
Some said I am intrigued.
Some said Go away you dweeb.
Always passed by.
Some said I need time to see.
Some said leave me be.
Some said she was a blue plate special.
Some said she was so unreal.
Some said she left them in confusion.
Some said she came to a conclusion.
Always passed by.
Always an intrusion.
copyright2005-mistycool
~The Compass or the Abyss~
The needle will guide you to and fro.
Left and right.
Maybe zig zagging as you go.
In to the past night.
You may wander with the weary.
So many burdens upon a heart to carry.
In the compass lies safety and security.
Will you seek out your souls purity.
I say jump.Jump high, then dive into the abyss.
The comfort from a compass you will not miss.
To have teetered over the ledge.
To stand there and constantly hedge.
All new is lost.
The compass comes with such a cost.
Teeter there no more.
Lean forward,arms wide open.
Open your eyes as you soar.
The abyss awaits with one word spoken.
To fly to another,to touch another,to grasp their heartbeat and stroke their soul.
Never,never is it a mere token.
I say jump.
Jump high.
Take that dive into the abyss.
The safe needle of a compass you shall never miss.
copyright@2007~Marushka~
~Dedicated to Little Dakota~
Tornadoes are sometimes white.
All tornadoes are not lite.
To any of you have tasted abuse in any form maybe you wiil understand the next poems.
Satans Touch
She was meant to laugh and delight in life.
He has taken so much of her.
Chilled and froze her spirit.
Delighted in her torment.
Reveled in the knowledge his control would forever be a scar on her heart.
Scars that continue to break open bringing past agony.
Fear to relish life.
Fear to Love oneself.
Letting herself down others say it is easy to let go.
She trys to find a way to carry on.
Searches herself.
Finding her innocence from past times.
She smiles maybe I can make it.
Let yourself believe.
And leave him with his misery.
Copyright ©2003 Marushka
Visceral were the words they used when they handed me an editors award for the next poem.Visceral means your guts twisted and wide open,eviscerated.I guess they felt my words.
Paskuda(means Evil in Polish)
Rocking, rocking, frenzy frenzy.
Nail-biting and gestures so profane.
Was he not to blame?
His wicked ways was her shame, shame.
Wrenching, twisting, screaming inside.
Stench of his touch was not her blush.
Ripping, gripping, he always was in a rush.
Looking, turning, sweating, what if he was caught?
Her love he had not bought.
No trinkets, no flowers, no sweet words.
His sweat dripped on her like a faucet.
Please, please he has not been caught yet.
Deceiver, liar, mask, facade.
Molester of her for a decade.
His evil screaming within her mind.
How can they all be so blind?
Copyright ©2005 Marushka
In 2004 I tried love again.I keep learning here as much as I love love, it seems to not love me back.I think this person hurt me worse then any abuser by taking all I had entrusted him with and ripping me apart with my own past.Hence the poem.
Fear Within
She has learned again do not tell them anything.
She has learned again do not share self with another.
She has learned again do not give your body to another.
She has learned again with a kiss she had so much love to give.
She has learned again.
Sharing your life can turned into weapons that slice and dice her.
She has learned again.
Twisting of what you reveal can make your soul bleed.
She has learned again.
The fear of an abusive person can come back to haunt her life.
She has learned again love and passion can turn into such strife.
She has learned again to be alone.
She has learned again to go within.
She has learned again to never love.
She has learned again to stifle self.
Copyright ©2004 Marushka
LOVE,LOVE,LOVE oh the sweet emotions of Love.
Passion
Passion was he here when she came.
Passion was he here when she was gone.
Passion how it rambles on.
Darling wait up for me.
To feel your body by my side.
Passion how softly it rambles on.
Passion in a soft feathery kiss.
Passion in his eyes nothing to miss.
Passion in skin to skin.
His head gently upon her breastpin.
Passion he was now her canvas.
Passion she was his oilskin.
Passion how it rambles on.
Passion into the night and early morning.
Passion release in soft moaning.
Passion words to flow from entwined lips.
Passion gentle and strong touches of her hips.
Passion how it can ramble on.
Written for ~Aranthus~ and dedicated to him.
Copyright ©2005 Marushka
CherryPearl
Cha Cha Cherry,His heart did scream.
She was bodacious,flirtatious.
Hot and Teasing.
For him she was all pleasing.
Sleek and Slick.
Her curves did tick.
Cha Cha Cherry,with a little of this.
A little of That.
Her body sure could kick it.
She gave him a little ah,ah, action.
With a sprinkle of direction.
A lean blonde haired Beauty.
Cha Cha Cherry,I like it when you shake it like that.
She can feel him watching.
Cha Cha Cherry,he shouts,work it.
Til the lights go out.
Oh Darling Cherry.
Copyright ©2004 Marushka
Misty Moon
Outstretched by a moon she did pose.
His eyes drank her in,could not help himself.
To not touch her skin was not why he sang.
Her flesh was gilded gold in this light.
Is this the way love goes?
A thirst unquenchable.
He had to see her again.
Love me tender Mist.
Is this the way,love goes.
He needed to know.
He could go there just to lay in this dream.
His comfort aside.
Watching her,his eyes on her,she looked so nice,so sweet.
Staring.
Promises in his heart.
To afraid.
Is this the way Love goes.
Her eyes caught his gaze.
From a rock and a moon cloaked by haze.
Tender Mist, is this the way love goes?
Copyright ©2002 Marushka
Kisses
Blowing kisses his way.
Little bubbles of affection.
Red kisses for the fire she held in her heart.
Green told him where to start.
Yellow the comfort where she could lay her head upon his shoulders.
Pink for the passion that made her bolder.
Colored kisses.
He gave her colored kisses for her lips to taste.
He led her to an oasis,there was no haste.
Kisses so sweet what else could she do.
She had fallen in love with the 'Blue'.
Copyright ©2004 Marushka
PoeTree Man
She waits.
Alone at a screen
In a busy Chatroom about to scream.
Frazzled and worn.
Wildeyed and Heart torn.
She waits.
For the PoetryMan.
His words drip like honey across her dry lips.
Beckoning the want in her Soul for a sugary kiss.
He types words oh so sweet.
She chastizes herself as they will Never meet.
His words,His Voice.
Melting the scars in her heart.
Not by her choice.
Mesmorized by words tap,Tap,Tapping.
On a keyboard.
She waits.
Dear Lord let this be Fate.
Copyright ©2003 Marushka
Moonlight at Bluerock
Cascades of scintillating shimmers.
Beckoning her in the cove this night.
Upon a blue rock her eyes did glimmer.
Moonlit orb lofty above.
She searched the shore for love.
Alone her skin sparkled from a salty brine.
Irredescent specks dusted her lips.
She wanted her lips to be his fruity wine.
Heady lusty their two spirits intertwined.
Upon this rock thier hearts would dine.
And forever sail on.
With the magic of courtships.
Copyright ©2004 Marushka
SandCastle Cathedrals
She had never asked for more then his love.
Life was not easy.
Drawn to the shore of sandcastle cathedrals.
Shimmering pinks of a passion lost.
Her hands had held his love.
Sighing now,losing herself had been the cost.
Like the granules of sea sand,now trickling,thru her fingers.
In her thoughts his kiss did linger.
She knelt on that beach where they had walked.
This was her time to remember.
That his love did not last forever.
It was some kind of miracle.
That soul had survived,easy to let this day slip by.
This beach was so cold trying to hold a summers sun.
In her mind there was hope of love to come.
Copyright ©2007 Marushka
~Fire~
Tongues entwined in such heat.
Lava begun to flow like a drummers heart beat.
On fire warmth in her soul and between her thighs.
His touch,his kiss,she moaned with so many sighs.
Fire so intense.
Her mind lost in his volcano eruption.
Heart now lost,her mind,thoughts,made no sense.
She removed her clip on angel wings.
As her own fire took hold and burnt her wings into ashes and dust.
Smiling,moaning,flowing,moving.
His fire,Her lust.
Copyright ©2007 Marushka
~Hands~
Take my hand.
Take me to paradise.
As I kiss your lips.
I have found the perfect place.
Are you there.
As I am the pretender.
I might surrender.
Never easy but with a kiss, I can be tricked.
Feels Like I am falling for the first time.
I wonder how I have made it thru.
Can't you see your my paradise.
I feel love For the first time in my life.
Oh,just one more night,take my hand.
To paradise I will follow you.
Copyright ©2007 Marushka
~Death,Life,Remembering ~
~I shall whisper~
I shall whisper soft and whisper low.
In to your soul my words will flow.
News that you had to go you had to die.
Brought out the tears and made me sigh.
This need to be near you one last time.
I shall whisper soft and whisper low.
In to your soul my words will flow.
Flowers were chosen with much thought.
From a shop in Michigan they were bought.
To coordinate with the blooms draping your casket.
I shall whisper soft and whisper low.
In to your soul my words will flow.
Please place my bouquet by her head.
Where she lays now on her silken bed.
I must talk and chat to her like before.
To tell her always and forever,eternally yours.
I shall whisper soft and whisper low.
In to your soul my words will flow.
I shall kiss your cheeks and your eyes.
My friend,my confidant,to me there were never lies.
Nine years of chatting time did fly.
Even tho you would remind me of your fate.
Until we met I knew you death would never have a date.
So place my soul and spirit near.
Disguised as flowers to brighten and cheer.
To my heart,my soul, I hold you near.
I shall whisper soft and whisper low.
In to your soul my words will flow.
Dedicated to 'Kay1414'April 23rd-2007
Copyright ©2007 Marushka
~Always his Will?~
He had taken my life,their life, what do I feel.
He stood there shooting at us.
He held our lives in his hands like the Reaper.
Thoughts danced around in my head.
I wished I had stayed warm and comfy in my bed.
I hope my family knows I love them.
He held our lives in his hands like the Reaper.
I look around and in that instant they are dying before me.
I know it will be soon.
I knew not to move.
I knew into loving hands I will be carried.
I knew nothing more to prove.
He held our lives in his hands like the Reaper.
I was taught to believe.
I knew life could be over like sand drifting thru a sieve.
I now played that song in my head,no longer illusive.
He held our lives in his hands like the Reaper.
All these bullets making music.
As I fell to the floor and knew he had shattered all my integrity in man.
I wondered for an instant in a haze where I am.
I knew today as he held my hands like the Reaper.
I knew today god would be my forever Keeper.
I knew he was always there for me.
I knew he always stood there for me.
I knew if it hurt before.
I knew the reaper delivered me as it was written.
I knew into safe arms I was led,forever more.
He held our lives in his hands,like the Reaper.
Remembering Virginia Tech-April 16th-2007 and all the tragic school shootings.
Copyright ©2007 Marushka
~Fools Lament~
Standing at the massive oak door.
There it was a court summons.
Eviction rang thru her head.
How she wished he was dead.
Anger seeping thru her body and soul.
She had given him her hand and heart.
She gave him a home and shelter.
Her life was good before him.
Life was supposed to be better with him,her stupid heart romantic whim.
His guise of love led to her downfall.
Standing there summons in hand she felt all she could do was crawl.
Life knocked out of her,breathing in gasps,anger seething.
Rage and self pity all consuming now.
No home,no home.
While he was tucked away in Pennsylvania being a proverbial parasite.
All his,'I love you babys',screamed in her head.
Don't worry baby I will send you money.
We are partners baby.
She was going to die on this doorstep.
Screaming now,'You fool,you fool.'
He used you.
He was bum.
He sucked you dry.
He left you to die.
He laughs everytime he sends you a card.
He torments you yet.
And with that she looked back on her home and left.
Tears streaming.
Mind screaming.
All you were was money to him.
When it was gone.
He was gone.
You fool,you poor stupid fool.
Copyright ©2007 Marushka
~She Remembers~
She wanted him to know.
She keeps his photograph.
She didn't feel right now that he was gone.
She was broken.
She wanted to dream again.
She needed his hand to still her pain.
She was open.
She was not strong enough.
She was lonesome.
She would dance to ease her soul.
She would feel the beat to drown this sorrow.
She would feel him,even tho he did not feel her.
She would close her eyes.
She would sleep until tomorrow.
She would from him remain apart.
She would somehow still her heart.
Copyright ©2003 Marushka
~Michael and Mary Ann~
Two Kids growing up in Alpena land.
Siblings always hand in hand.
Did we live before each others Love.
Sandbox capers with full diapers.
It could of been a Palm street war.
He could push it to the Limit.
She was peacmaker and mediator.
He was restless and an instigator,troublemaker.
His gentleness with animals made him her gladiator.
Safari trips in the backyard.
Snowforts by the curb.
And time marched on.
Teenagers rocking to the same songs.
She thought he was hip.
She liked him the way he was.
He couldn't relax.
His life was so complicated.
She would strike a Pose.
Couldn't fool him.
Sometimes in life you crawl and you fall.
And you have to take what life makes it .
Like a Special Christmas.
Two siblings Still with a Love Eternally.
Copyright ©2004 Marushka
~Ratt~
I did know your Life.
Filled with so Much Strife.
You walked with Grief.
Your eyes twinkled like the Stars.
And one day you took your Life.
Alone while the angels hands were tied.
They cried as the sunshine that lit my Heart within died.
I am sure you now are an angel in the sky.
Hating God for a tad of Time.
My cold heart was so sublime,while I walked this Mile.
Alone for awhile.
Then god opened the window for me that he should have for you.
And I understood.
You were never alone in that moment.
You left me to wonder how it all went so wrong.
And now I lay awake at night.
Still waiting for the sun to shine.
On this miracle Mile called Life.
Copyright ©2000 Marushka
~Cemetery Memorys~
Her hands in his so small.
In the sunshine she was led into the land of the dead.
On this sunny day His silence did lull.
Tagging along she tossed a red ball.
Lawn of green and marble so mossed.
Stepping over stones and dirt covered bones.
Flowers planted here and there.
Colors so bright fragrance permeated the air.
She heard him sigh and say,'This was my fathers final hour.'
There he stood massive and tall.
His happy face now so dour.
He let go of her hand,'Go play child' was all he said.
So off she romped and twirled in the land of the dead.
Seeing him thru her whirls,bent now on one knee.
Mumbling thru the wind a lamented plea.
She stumbled in the grass hands first,then landing on her chin.
Looking up and brushing dirt upon her shin.
There on a cross stone was a face.
A little girl like her all dressed in satin and lace.
Standing up now tracing that stone.
She understood that girl so like her, now called this place home.
Crying now,'Daddy take me from this place.'
In to his arms she did race.
Then she was told her lifes someday fate.
By her Father,her love,a man she could never hate.
They brushed away each others tears.
As he whispered,'My child,life is wonderful,no fear.'
No Fears.
Copyright ©2000 Marushka
~Christopher Rae~
Have you seen Christopher Rae?
He left me alone on the seventh of may.
With my heart on a string,flying so low,no passion left to sing.
They say he left for war to fight battles with bare hands.
Away from me in a other lands.
No weapons,only his sense of pride and duty.
Have you seen Christopher Rae?
He left me alone on the seventh of may.
With my heart on a string,flying so low,no passion left to sing.
I wept for so long,my tears now have turned to dust.
My heart so shielded it has begun to rust.
Only for him do I carry this passion bliss.
No longer do my lips meet his in with a tender kiss.
Have you seen Christopher Rae?
He left me alone on the seventh of may.
With my heart on a string,flying so low,no passion left to sing.
They tell me he is gone but his body was never found.
They tell me no longer is he homeward bound.
I can not believe he would do this.
Remembering his touch to my hips.
To look into his eyes and tremble in sweet bliss.
Have you seen Christopher Rae?
He left me alone on the seventh of may.
With my heart on a string,flying so low,no passion left to sing.
Our children cry,when will daddy be back?
His smiles,laughter and tickles they did not lack.
Over war he looked at us and turned his back.
Have you seen Christopher Rae?
He left me alone on the seventh of may.
With my heart on a string,flying so low,no passion left to sing.
Copyright ©2008 Marushka
~Lady Rebound~
Years she had waited.
Hers was a lovers heart.
Her heart to be given,was by a man,never satiated.
Oh Lady,now you have been found.
Oh Lady,tears streaming.
Oh Lady,love you had given.
Oh Lady,her mind screaming.
Oh Lady,you are his lady rebound.
He came to her with words he wanted love
He was a dark haired man,alone with a son.
He always spoke about family and unity.
He had a gentleness that pierced her silent soul.
Oh Lady,now you have been found.
Oh Lady,tears streaming.
Oh Lady,love you had given.
Oh Lady,her mind screaming.
Oh Lady,you are his lady rebound.
She listened to his voice for a year.
She knew to her he had grown so very dear.
She listened to his pain and grief.
She knew his marriage thru death was to brief.
Oh Lady,now you have been found.
Oh Lady,tears streaming.
Oh Lady,love you had given.
Oh Lady,her mind screaming.
Oh Lady,you are his lady rebound.
He knew his lust and fondness for her extreme.
He packed his truck and son to follow this dream.
He arrived on a hot august day.
He embraced her,kissed her without delay.
They spoke of love and family,marriage and a future.
Once so bleak,now with so many sparks to nurture.
They set up a home and seemed to flow into a life.
They had lust and love and harmony and tears.
They had togetherness,a bond of oneness and some strife.
And then.
And then she asked.
And then she asked are we to marry?
And then she heard his words so clear.
Oh Lady,now you have been found.
Oh Lady,tears streaming.
Oh Lady,love you had given.
Oh Lady,her mind screaming.
Oh Lady,you are his lady rebound.
He did not mean to mislead her.
He did not remember speaking words of marriage.
He saw her tears stream so freely and silently.
He saw after a year such pain and shock on her pale porcelain face.
And with that she had become his lady rebound.
Oh Lady,now you have been found.
Oh Lady,tears streaming.
Oh Lady,love you had given.
Oh Lady,her mind screaming.
Oh Lady,you are his lady rebound.
Copyright ©2008 Marushka
~The Working Middle Child~
My darling if you get a job,do not work in the afternoon.
For you there will never be a brass ring or silver spoon.
As you will have a boss that never see's what you do.
He is on day shift and has no clue.
For you he will tell you your stupidity.
Sometimes such anger marked with profanity.
This is the rewards you will receive after working so hard, without his supervisonarity.
He will never look within.
He will never roll up his sleeves and jump in.
He will leave with the day shifters.
He will under his breath scoff at the afternoon- late night mis-fitters.
My darling,you will leave late and weary.
My darling,I know you did your utmost best,never query.
For he is not a supervisor or late night manager.
For he is not a trouble shooter or team player.
For if he was, he would look within.
He would not use glass words to slice and dice the afternoon crew.
He would make his words scintillate and uplift all of you.
He would of been there with his body,his mind and for a month do your work.
He would have walked away knowing he was wrong about those lazy second shift jerks.
He would of seen the problems and did his corrections.
He would of left all of you smiling, now worthy in a day shift shining perfection.
He would show his superiors they were right in hiring him.
He would have satisfaction and happiness within.
My darling, if you get a job,do not work in the afternoon.
For you there will never be a brass ring or silver spoon.
As you will have a boss that never see's what you do.
He is on day shift and has no clue.
Dedicated to every shift worker but especially to the 'Middle Child' of the work force and the bosses who do not lead.(~From Ramblings of a Mad Woman OnLine~ https://www.angelfire.com/mi4/mistycool/MyPoetry.html)
Copyright08/©2008 Marushka
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