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Corny Christmas Jokes

Q. What if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men?

A. They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts.

Q. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?

A. Sandy Claus!

Q. How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

A. Fleece Navidad!

Q. If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?

A. A subordinate claus.

Q. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?

A. You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q. What do elves learn in school?

A. The Elf-a-bet.

Q. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?

A. Mistletoe!

Q. Where do polar bears vote?

A. The North Poll

Q. What nationality is Santa?

A. North Polish.

Q. What do you get if you deep fry Santa?

A. Crisp Kringle

Q. What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?

A. We'll have a BOO Christmas without you.

Q. What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh?

A. Santa Claus caught in a revolving door.

Q. Why did the elf slide his bed into the fireplace?

A. He wanted to sleep like a log.

Q. Why does Scrooge love Rudolph?

A. Because every buck is dear to him.

Q. What did Santa Claus shout to the toys on Christmas Eve?

A. OK everybody - sack time!

Q. What kind of bird can write?

A. A PEN-guin

Q. Why do birds fly south for the winter?

A. Because it is too far to walk.

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