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In the few years I've found myself doing alot of soul searching and thinking....about myself, my family, my friends, my beliefs, my losses.....and I've kinda changed my way of thinking about some things. I now realize more then ever that my family is the most important thing in my life! If it were not for them I would not be the person I am today. Sadly, I've lost alot of very important people in my life over the years.....my brother-in-law Aug, my grandmother-in-law Eliza, my step-father-in-law Jim, my dear 2nd mother Maurine, my chat buddies Terri and Jimmie, and most recently my Mother, Thelma. All of these losses effected me profoundly...especially my mother. These losses made me realize that life on this earth will someday end and those of us left behind have the burden of carrying on our lives without those we love at our sides. I truly believe that there is no end to life, but that life just continues on the "other side". Those we love may not be here with us physically, but they are always with us in spirit and in our hearts and memories....and I know that even though we cannot always see them or hear them....they are there watching over us.

To Jman....aka Jimmie - To my bestest chat buddy in the world! I'm still in shock! I'm soooo sorry that I did not know sooner. My life got so hectic taking care of my mother....that I lost touch with you....and it had been a couple years since we spoke. How was I to know that in that time you would be taken from us! I should have kept in touch. I'm sorry I was not there at the end.....to chat with and to talk to. You were always there to brighten my day and to give your advice.....and to make me laugh.....and I was not there for you. I'm sorry. You were a one of a kind man.....a bestest friend to me! You were like a big brother to me.....and when we met RT I was convinced that we were brother and sister in a previous life! Now whenever I hear the Michigan Fight song.....I will think of you......and more sadly I will now have to sing it alone! Rest in peace my friend....REST IN PEACE! *HUGE HUGS & KISSES*

To Terri - One of the dearest chatfriends a person could ask for. Even though we didn't know each other RT....I felt that we did! We shared alot of talks and laughs....though looking back now i can see it was not nearly enough. Rest in peace my friend....and someday we will meet RT....I promise! May u fly with the angels..............Bratwoman's Homepage that she left us all to remember her by......

To August Sr. - We are all left here with questions...the most important being WHY? We do not understand how you could have left us like you did but we do not blame you. We realize that things were a little more then you could handle at that time....but we wish we would have seen a sign so we could have helped. We love you and we think of you often. We wish you were here to take Ryan fishing.....and to do the cooking on the grill.....and mostly to see your first grandchild, Hunter, who was born on March 16, 2006. Someday we will all be reunited and maybe then we will know the answers to our questions....until then we will carry on and keep you in our hearts and prayers. We love you Aug......*HUGS*

To Eliza - Grandma J....we hated to see you go but we know that you only wanted to go home. You just wanted peace from your suffering. We know that you are now happy, healthy and at peace....but we still miss you and love you alot! Whenever I hear a piano being played or "Holes In The Floor Of Heaven".....I think of you! *HUGS*

To Jim - We now know that you knew from the beginning what was going to happen. You "predicted" what the outcome would be and we just brushed it off thinking that all would be fine. Now we can see that you truly did know it was your time to go home....and we are amazed that you "knew" that before you ever really got sick. We think of you often and miss you....Ryan misses the fishing trips with you at the lake but at least he'll have the memories! Rest in peace.....til we meet again......

To Maurine - The woman that was a second mother to me all my life! Looking back now, I think I spent more time at your house then I did my own house when I was growing up! I always considered you and Clarence as my second set of parents...and your family as my own. I know I grew up in front of your eyes right along with your own kids and I am thankful that I had that opportunity. You were always the one person that I could count on to tell me the truth because you always spoke what was on your mind....you never covered anything up or sugar-coated it. That was just your way! *S* I know you suffered alot near the end and I am thankful to God that he finally called you home so that you were not suffering any longer. I am very sorry that I did not get to see you before you left us....I SO badly wanted to see you again....just to have 10 minutes...... Time had flown by and before I realized it eight years had gone by......the last time we had seen each other face to face was at my wedding......eight years to the day you left us! I so badly wanted you to see my husband and daughter again.....and to meet my son for the very first time.....but when I called you that day, you were too sick and did not want company. I know that you were speaking the truth and that you really didn't want company....or maybe you just didn't want me to see you that way......either way i respected your wishes......but I'm still left with the guilt of not seeing you before you left. I am very thankful that the last time we spoke we said our "I love you's".....something that had always been an unspoken feeling......at that time i just didn't know it would be the last time i would be able to speak to you. You were a one of a kind lady and please know that I truly do love you and I miss you. Rest In Peace!

To Chuck - To my oldest brother....time flies and before we know it years have slipped away. Sadly, our family is one that is not real close and we only get together for weddings and funerals...and sadly, the last time we were together was after the news of Mom's terminal illness. I know we were not real close because of our age difference and our distance....but I always have thought of you as my brother. Our Easter Sunday 2001 was not a very pleasant day......but I know it was the most peaceful day of your life. God Bless You Brother.....please take good care of Mom up there in Heaven and give her a kiss for me!! I love you!

To Mom...aka Thelma - To the dearest, sweetest, kindest mother in the world and my bestest friend.....God only knows how much I miss you! You were everything to me.....my mother, my friend, my confidant, my conscience, and my hero. It took me years of living to realize that you were always right and that I was too stupid to know it......especially in my teenage years! Now that I have a 17 year old daughter, I know exactly what you were going through with me. I pray that my daughter will someday realize that I am only doing what I know is right and she will learn from what I am teaching her! I hope she always knows that she needs me.......like I always needed my mom too. I need you here sooooo badly now. I need you here to help me deal with my 17 year old that you loved so much.....your little "Ashy" and my 12 year old....your little "Wyan". I'm sorry for the suffering you had to endure the last 4 years.....God knows you did not deserve what you went through. If I could have taken away the pain....I would have taken it on myself just so you didn't have to suffer. It killed me to see you suffer.....even though you never once showed the pain.....we knew it was bad. You are the strongest person I know....and a hero to us all! I only hope I can be half the woman that you were in this lifetime! You are my inspiration every day of my life! Alot has happened since you left us......and not one day goes by when you are not thought of or talked about. I talk to you every day and I pray that you hear me! I need you now more then ever......and I can't wait until we are together again so I can feel your hugs! Please rest in peace Momma......I LOVE YOU! I'll continue to plant beautiful flowers on your grave til the day I die. *HUGS & KISSES*

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