Completely ignoring your responsibility to your paper, you call Ross on the phone to see what he wants to do. While you’re on the phone, Ross crawls out of air duct, claiming he was hiding there to test your loyalty.
“Um…okay,” you say, a bit taken aback. “Could you elaborate on that?”
“No,” Ross replies. “No, I can’t.”
“Aw,” you whine. “Well, what do you want to do? I’m trying to avoid doing a paper.”
Ross says he wants to take over the world. So you, Ross, and, Noel begin making plans to take over the world. Ross wants to do it so he can destroy it, Noel wants to so he can control the world’s entertainment and finally have something decent to watch, and you do it to avoid doing the paper.
“So…how do we go about taking over the world,” you ask.
“Aye, there’s the rub,” Noel replies.
“Okay, first we need to get an unlimited supply of pickle brine—” Ross begins.
“We already tried that, Ross,” you say.
“Did it work?” Ross asks you.
“Actually, no,” you reply.
“Well, let’s see you come up with a better plan, sicko,” Ross counters.
“I…er…” you mumble.
“Perhaps we should start with Japan,” Noel suddenly joins the conversation.
“Why Japan?” you ask.
“He who controls Japan controls the anime,” Noel answers.
“How will that help us take over the world?” you ask.
“We can replace the anime with propaganda videos telling everyone to hand the world over to us. And we can stop people from making lousy anime at the same time.”
“Alright,” Ross says. “But I’m still bringing the pickle brine.”
“Fine,” you say, “but how are we going to get to Japan. It’s a long way from Oklahoma.”
“Aye, there’s the rub,” Noel replies.
“Here’s a silly idea,” Ross starts to explain. “The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have a huge pirate ship in their stadium. It has canons that they fire whenever they score a touchdown.”
“Sail to Japan in the Buccaneer’s pirate ship? That is a silly plan. It just might work.”
So, you, Ross, and Noel go to Tampa to acquire the pirate ship. However, the buccaneers refuse to give you the pirate ship. “Maybe we can trade them something for the pirate ship,” Noel thinks.
“What could the Tampa Bay Buccaneers want that we’ve got?” you ask.
“Barry Sanders?” Noel suggest.
“We have Barry Sanders?” you exclaim.
“Well, actually no,” Noel replies. “At least, not yet.”
So, you, Ross, and Noel go to Michigan. Barry Sanders is sitting in a restaurant and Noel walks up and says, “Excuse me, are you Barry Sanders?”
“Yes,” he replies.
“We’ve come here to kidnap you.”
You can try to tackle him at:
2. Knee height.
3. Calf height.
