I AM A COLLEGE STUDENT...this one's funny :)
I am a college student.....
I live in a 2 x 2 ft cinder blocked prison with no windows......
My roommate fools around, with me in the room....
I am a college student...
I have gained 15 pounds or more since August, most of that is....BudLight, my best friend.
I am a college student...
I got more ass in the first two weeks of school then in my entire life combined... now I get less than ever.
I do the "walk of shame"... leaving his/hers room at 7:00am in the same clothes I was the
night before...
I am a college student...
I drink Beast from a keg and BuschLight from a can. I will walk in the cold, dark and snow for beer... but refuse to go to class in the same weather.
I am a college student...
I have a 2.1 GPA..
I have Mono, but don't sleep except
during my classes.
I am a college student...
I have forgot what privacy is...I never make my 8:00 am class and have hooked up with every guy/girl in my dorm.
I am a college student...
I drink more vodka than water, my savior is the toilet....
I black out for extended periods of time several nights a week.
I am a college student...
My friends tell me the next day about the striptease I did at the party the night before, that I can't remember.
I think cigarettes,coffee,cheetos,and Ramen Noodles as being a complete meal.
I am a college student...
Forgot about the love-of-my-life-boyfriend/girlfriend at home, as soon as I stepped foot on campus.
I go to bed at 2am and get up at 11 am everyday.
I promise myself everyday that tomorrow I will get up and go to that class that I somehow keep sleeping through...
I am a college student...
My computer is used for two purposes - AOL instant
Messenger and Kazaa.
I have gotten in a fight with at least one person in my dorm and we hate each other now.
I am a college student...
I think nothing of going to bed at 3:30am on Wacky
Wednesday,Thirsty Thursday, F'd up Friday.. and getting up at 8:00am, still drunk, and go to class.
I am a COLLEGE STUDENT...
Hear me roar!!! The real lessons I've learned in life.... are not the pretty "friendship forever" ones.
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that waiting till the last minute to study for finals...really is STUPID.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just real jerks...
I've learned that it takes years to buildup and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it...
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a
relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.
I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their in the long running dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I've learned that no matter how parents try to protect their children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important annoying ones just never go away.
I've learned to say "Screw 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.
****The Little Things in Life***
Too often we don't realize
What we have until it's gone
Too often we wait to late to say
"I'm sorry, I was wrong"
Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
We hold dearest to our hearts
And we allow stupid things
To tear our lives apart
Far too many times we let
Unimportant things get in our mind
And by then it's usually too late
To see what made us blind
So be sure that you let people know
How much they mean to you
Take the time to say the words
Before your time is through
Be sure that you appreciate
Everything you've got
And be thankful for the little things
In life that mean a lot
****Friendship****
Somewhere b e t w e e n the procrastination
And the homework
And the incessant forwards
And the friendships
And the nasty cafeteria food
And the calls to each other complaining about crushes
Somewhere b e t w e e n the phone calls to old friends
And the "I miss you's"
And the "I love you's"
And the "What are we doing tonight's?"
And somewhere b e t w e e n all of the changing; growing..
Somewhere b e t w e e n the classes
And the skipping classes
And the studying for tests
And the pretending to study for tests
And the downright NOT studying for tests...
I forgot.
I forgot what high school is all about.
I forgot what it meant to cry
I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy.
And that pretending to be smart doesn't make you smart.
I forgot that you can't just forget the past in fear of the future.
I forgot that you can't control falling in love
And that you can't make yourself fall in love.
I learned that I can love.
I learned that it's okay to mess up
And it's okay to ask for help
And it's okay to feel like CRAP.
I learned it's okay to complain and whine to all your friends for a whole day.
I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't have.
I learned that the greatest thing about high school isn't the parties
or the DRiNKiNG or the hook-ups...
It's the friendships, which means taking chances.
I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the
things which we most need to talk about.
I learned that letters from friends are the most important thing.
And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better.
But, basically, I just learned that my friends,
Both o l d and new
Are the most important people to me in the world.
And without them, I wouldn't be who I am today.
So this is a thank you to all of my friends
For always being there and I love you.
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck (Written after she found out she was dying from cancer.)
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of
pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a
rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if
the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the
'good' living room and worried much less about the
dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the
fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my
grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried
by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled
up on a summer day because my hair had just been done.
I would have sat on the lawn with my friends and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have
said, Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it ... live it ... and never give it back.
Stop sweating the small stuff. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing
what.
Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are doing
each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually.
Life is too short to let it pass you by. We only have one shot at this and then it's gone.
Timeline of a woman's life
Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.
Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.
Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister
(Mom, I can't go to school looking like this!)
Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too
tall, too straight/too curly"- but decides she's going out anyway.
Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's going out anyway.
Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but says, "At least I am "clean" and goes out anyway.
Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes
wherever she wants to go.
Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.
Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter
and ability, goes out and enjoys life.
Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple
hat and goes out to have fun with the world.