And I'm thinking all the time, and I'm dreaming
of what's not mine...My Own Little World With a Piece of Yours
And I'm thinking all the time, and I'm dreaming
of what's not mine...
| 3/21/2003 *Cool* |
| I like Megan:-)
|
| 6/25/2003 *Bad day* |
| Well since i know no one reads this i think i can say some things. Well when megan broke up with me i wasnt too sad because i saw it coming... i hurt so much before we broke up and when it happened i didnt hurt too much... its been a couple of days since and i've been thinkin a lot. i think one of the reasons i wasnt that sad was because i thought she would call me and say she missies me and wants to still be with me. but as the days go on i know its not going to happen. i want to call her but that doesnt seem like a good idea. Today has been the worst day so far. i was at work and she was on my mind. i was scaning some journals and i thought of her and dawn. i was thinking which made me happy and the answer megan. she was probably the best thing that happened to me. i missed out big time. the music in the store didn't help much either, it was sappy love songs. i almost started to cry in the store. it would have been the first time i cried over her. i'm in such a horrible stat but i know its not her or my fault. things just didnt work out i guess... i still sit here waiting for my phone to ring and hear her voice... "I miss you" |
| 3/21/2003 *Cool* |
| I like Megan:-)
|
| 3/8/2003 *Yes* |
| You'll never guess but probably already know, I like Megan ever so much, hehe I'm so happy. Thanks for stopping by today.:-) I'm happy... That is all... |
| 3/7/2003 *Confused and Alone* |
Running Away -Hoobastank I don't want you to give it all up and leave your own life collecting dust and I don't want you to feel sorry for me you never gave us a chance to be And I don't need you to be by my side and tell me that everythings all right I just wanted you to tell me the truth You know I'd do that for you So why are you running away? Why are you running away? I did enough to show you that I was willing to give and sacrifice and I was the one who was lifting you up when you thought your life had had enough when I get close you turn away, nothing that I can do or say so now I need you to tell me the truth you know I would do that for you So why are you running away? Why are you running away? Is it me? Is it you? Nothing that I can do To make you change your mind Is it me? Is it you? Nothing that I can do Is it a waste of time? Is it me? Is it you? Nothing that I can do to make you change your mind So why are you running away? Why are you running away? (What is it I have to say?) So why are you running away? (To make you admit you're afraid) Why are you running away? I guess when you have lots of good days, you're bound to have a bad day I guess. I'm thinking today's that day. Last night and today I've been thinking a lot about things, and I really don't want to. But I guess it happens. I'm sure when I see Megan I'll be happy. I miss her smile. I can't wait to see her again, even though it's only been two days it feels like two weeks. I wish I knew things but maybe I'm better off not knowing. I want to help, but maybe there's nothing I can do. I just don't know what to say or do... Maybe tomorrow will be a better day cause today isn't looking on the up and up... |
| 3/1/2003 *You mean some much* |
|
Today was so very cool, but I don't know how to say what I feel. I spent
whole day with Megan and she makes my so... soo... very happy inside and
out. I want to say so much but the words never come out. So I wrote
something but it still doesn't do any justice.
What Megan Means To Me I can spend every waking moment, Her smile fills me, Holding her tight, She is my everything, I felt so special today and everyday that I'm with her. I ask why me? But in all sense I don't want a answer. I'm happy knowing that she cares about me for whatever reason it is... that's all I need to know. Grrr... I don't know how to put it... so I'll just stop... dang. ~Yeah~ |
| 2/25/2003 *I don't know so let's just think...* |
| Well Christine
picked up Megan and then picked me up yesterday. We went to Tim Hortons,
then to her house, then to the gas station, picked up Anna, then went back
to her house. Me and Megan played with stickers as Christine and Anna
sang. They sounded pretty good. Then Paul called, and Christine and Paul
started to get mad at each other. Went home and then fell asleep. That was
about my day. Before I went to Tim Hortons I was talking to Adam online.
mimic A hero : Liberty is a bitch who must be bedded
on a matress of corpses. Today I'm bored again nothing really to do. I'm just kinda here in my own little world thinking about things. I have something special in mind, maybe I should do that. I don't know... Well I guess I'll look up my Sandman Quotes somemore. ~Poptart~ |
| 2/24/2003 *Things* |
| This whole
weekends been good and I've had fun. Saturday it snowed as everyone
noticed and that was kinda bad. I had to set up the ring for the IWR and
it was really bad because of the ice and having to carry the heavy parts
inside the building. After everything was setup or whatnot I messed around
inside with the rest of the ring crew. When the show was about to start
the weather picked up and things didn't look to good. We ended up having
only about 78 or so people show up to watch the show. I had a massive
headach after the show so I didn't stay to help rip down the ring. So Dan
ended up giving me a ride home in the Firebird. Going down Van Dyke at
11:40pm wasn't that good. we slide around and when we got to Martin he's
car got stuck. We pushed it into the gas station and I told him to just go
home. So I ran from Van Dyke and Martin to my house. It wasn't that bad, I
kinda enjoyed it. I got home and talked with Megan for a while so I was
happy. Sunday I hung out with her the whole day. I
enjoyed it so much and felt bad because I turned down some of my friends
just to hang out with her. But it was worth it. Magic... and biting, with
some tickling and more biting. Hehe... I enjoyed that day so much, I mean
I enjoy just being with he period!
Well today was really boring. I skipped my second class today so I could get some sleep and I did. I was hoping to hang out with Megan but she has a lot of homework to read, I was sad but I understood. I watched TV some and then I got so bored I actually did my own homework. I mean gees, I never do my homework. And as of right now I'm talk with Christine to find something to do. Hope Megan calls later tonight... Also I wish Alex didn't have to work today and Margie wasn't busy with homework either. |
| 2/21/2003 *I've haven't been this happy in a long time, I hope she is too... |
| Yesterday was
probably one of the most fun days of my life. I really haven't felt like
that let alone acted like that in so very long. I felt like I was in the
past... Alex and me acted so stupid but it was so fun. Words can't really
describe the feeling to tell the truth. I was happy. And I was so very
happy that Megan was with me to. I don't think I've ever felt like this,
and if I have ever, it has been a while. When I see her smile, I feel so
happy sometimes all I can do is think about how I never want anything to
happen to her and how happy she makes me. I never want to let her go. She
does so much for me I don't know what to do, or how to show her how much
she means to me.
New Found Glory pick up the pieces that i've left behind i woke up today feeling older and never so much better i know i talk in circles i never wanted to avoid your conversation you see yourself in my eyes another day has passed us by the more time i spend, the less i see of you i'll never take it back your voice is like an angel guiding over every move i make i'll never want it back the direction that you've gave me nothing can replace what i've gained time grabs me by the shoulders no one know how it feels to move over i know i'm still far from you and it feels like i'm still far from home my name is a disappointment i only disappoint myself if only i could hold this moment kept from everyone else. Back on yesterday, it was so awesome although it started off slow. I went to Alex's after classes, and then stopped home to call Megan. She stopped over, we talked for a while then went into my frontroom with my mom. She was sick and I felt bad. Then my brother walked in all gay like, hehe and was acting stupid. Me and Megan ended up leaving and going to Alex's. When we got there Dawn was already over. We played Bloody Roar 3. I got bored so me and Alex played magic. I lost both times, and yes the Squirrels won. At least Megan was happy about that. I 'm thinking she really likes Squirrels. Then Dawn joined and played. After Dawn went up stairs and brought food down stairs and Alex and me ran to her to get the food, she threw it and me and Alex wrestled for it. That was fun, Megan and Dawn laugh. We sat there for a while and did more stupid things. I was sad because Megan didn't seem to have a good time. Things happened later so Megan and Dawn left to pick up Tricia, and me and Alex left to my house where we were all going to meet. We brought the camera and ended up going to Meijers after Dawn and Megan came. We goofed around in there and then left to my house. Dawn and Alex left, and me and Megan talked. She had to leave later and I didn't want her to but she had to go home. I didn't want her mom to be mad at me and beat me up for Megan staying late. We said our goodbye and she left. That was my day. ~Poptart~ |
| 2/18/2003 *Times changed and so have I* |
| Well I'm happy
now. Things have changed all around me. People, family, places, they all
have changed. Nothing looks the same anymore. Some look better while
others look demented, weird, and so very different it confuses me. The
close friends I once have aren't really so close anymore. I'm starting to
come back to them, but it's hard, and doesn't feel the same. I'm getting
us to it, and some things feel the same. So I'm not going to complain
about it. My family I think are getting really lazy. My Mom seems to stop
being herself at times, she seems to me to get really tired at times, and
it scares me. I know she's getting old and I'm being to realize that she
won't always be here with me. It makes me so sad inside... And my Dad is
getting more Daddy like. He talks with me and jokes which also scares me
because he never did this before. I'm been wrestling around with him
through the house and I'm happy he's in my life. He has thought me a lot
about working with me hands around the house and I'm very thankful. My
brother is as retarded as ever. Trust me on this. He is 23 and all he does
all day is sit around the house on the computer. Way to go
man. He doesn't even help around the house or anything. It gets me really
mad and I just don't care anymore. I'm tired of hearing him get yelled at
so whenever he is told to do something around the house me and my mom do
what is suppose to do. The area I live in is changing slowly. People
come in and out, schools seem different. It shows I'm getting older and
have been here for a long time. College is so much fun. To me it is like
high school with out the social standards. No jocks, nerds, preps, and
whatever... As for me I've changed as well, some for the better some for
the worst... I'm getting lazier, not doing as much as I use to. I don't
walk a lot, run or anything. I can't wait for the summer. I'm going to do
so much, and I'll be happy. I don't call people as much as I use to. I've
lost touch with some friends and I really wish I haven't. I don't think
I'll be seen the same anymore after things have happened. I've learned to
live with it. I have a new life, and I'm not going to treat it the same! I
like this one better. I have close friends and someone I feel is special
to me. She's been sick lately and I want to be by her side every minute.
But I know I can't. I want her to get better fast. I'll be waiting. My
Valentines Day was awesome. Words can't describe how I felt and how it was
like. Every moment was a special one. I'll forever remember it.
Okay, now yesterday, I was bored the whole day. I had nothing to do and no one was home. I finally got a holed of Dan and I went to P & P with him. We meet up with Peanut and had some fun. When I got home I ate some food and talked with Mitch. I didn't even know it was him till he said something about Green Day. Then a little later I called Megan and we chatted. She was drug up and tired from the pills she has to take to I didn't want to keep her up. After I feel asleep watching some TV. I can't wait for today to began, soon I'm going to go eat, and after wait for Megan to call. I miss her and can't wait to hang out. Hugs. Then for tomorrow I hope to hang out with Dawn and her little brother John. It should be fun... And also I'm going to give Alex a call and see if he wants to do some. Everything should be somewhat interesting to say the least. ~Poptart~ |
