Chapter 1

The Beginning of Rebirth:

•     Where do I start? It was so good. Nothing went wrong, but it did. Somewhere something snapped, popped, or fizzled and I was sad. She can, she pulled me into the world and told me how she felt. Hurt, I was clueless, but still seeming happy. I knew she cared. I knew she felt like she had to. I was happy, it wasn't her fault nor mine. Things just happen. They always end on a bad note but. I was finally sitting down and I have to stand up now. All these memories are now starting to come to me and I don't understand. I want to but, doesn't everyone? I know in my heart, she was perfect even if she doesn't know it. I feel like she is the one for me. But that's how it might be for now, until I find someone else. I highly doubt that, she will be the one that I compare everyone else too. Well I know that I'll always be there for her. On the darkest days, along with the sunny ones too. I am a true friend, as long as I'll see her I'll be fine. I'm not going to let her ever be sad, this I vow. I pinky swear. This isn't a end it's a rebirth. Things are changing and starting over. I will, I will move on... Slowly at first but I will. I will be by her side as a friend, and she along my. Maybe this is for the better, maybe. I hope someday... Maybe that day will come. Things come back don't they?
  

• Everything lives and dies,
  nothing last forever
  so I intend to live life to the fullest
  and let nothing stop me till my journey is through
  

•     Dawn I will miss you, and yet you will still be there. Things have changed, for the better or worse, things have changed. You do mean a lot to me, and I will be there for you.

•    Olive Juice, I miss you...
  
  Day #3

• Sorry I never told you
  All I wanted to say
  And now it's too late to hold you
  'Cause you've flown away
  So far away
  
  Never had I imagined
  Living without your smile
  Feeling and knowing you hear me
  It keeps me alive
  Alive
  
  And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
  Like so many friends we've lost along the way
  And I know eventually we'll be together
  One sweet day
  
  Darling, I never showed you
  Assumed you'd always be there
  I took your presence for granted
  But I always cared
  And I miss the love we shared
  
  And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
  Like so many friends we've lost along the way
  And I know eventually we'll be together
  One sweet day
  
  Although the sun will never shine the same
  I'll always look to a brighter day
  Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
  You will always listen as I pray
  
  And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
  Like so many friends we've lost along the way
  And I know eventually we'll be together
  One sweet day
  
  And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
  Like so many friends we've lost along the way
  And I know eventually we'll be together
  One sweet day
  
  Sorry I never told you
  All I wanted to say

• Boyz II Men - One Sweet Day

        Day #6

• Have you ever been in love?

  Horrible isn't it?

  It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... you give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one like kiss you, or smile at you, and your whole life isn’t your own anymore. Loves takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like “Maybe we should just be friends” or “How perceptive” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

   

  It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love.

   

  I hate love.

                                                                                -~- Rose Walker

• This pretty much fits how I feel. Will things ever change?

• I figured out that the handfull of people that are good always get hurt. They care to much and want everyone else to be happy besides themselves. When they find the perfect person, they don't know what to do. So they act how they normally do. Everything normally will be happy. But that's when they get used then tossed away. Although its not anyone's fault sometimes. We just care, and some people don't know how to handle that. I'm a hopeless romantic and I'm going to die I guess, it's happening really slowly but I am. We always want to be there for people and I guess that's what the most important things is. Oh, and a handfull normally won't have a good relationship with another handfull. It's too hard to have a regular relationship(friends) afterwards. Nothing works the way we want it too.

Chapter 2

Positive:

•  Well times have change and now I'm not really as sad anymore. I know what we had together was good but, I'm going to move on. If it was meant to happen it would have happen. There's nothing I can do to change it but I really don't know if I want to now. All I know is that I want her to be my friend that would make me happy. There are plenty of girls out there why stop and wait for just one. Some people tell me she wasn't good enough for me and that I can do better. That to me wasn't true, but I know that I'm moving on. Hey, I'm only a freshman in college. She gave up a good thing that's her own fault. I'm moving on, and times change, who knows maybe 10 years from now she might want to try it again, and to that I would say, "Let me think about it!" Hehe, I guess I'm back to my old self. I can't wait to meet new people! Flirting was always so much fun, I miss it. I'm tired of feeling bad because... well I'm not waiting any longer!

• I'll always be a friend, you peoples always will have my number.

The End

Everything's Fuck, what happened?:

• Something happened and I really don't know. I guess I made a Bad thing happen, well I know I made bad thing happen. People know about something I was doing but there really don't know what it is. It was called the double edge guild. And what it was was a group of people with the same in common.  This is not a group type thing, this is like AA. This was in no way suppose to be a really group. We once had a real group but that feel apart. This was not a new group. I can't stress that enough. And people said I called them blind? I'll tell them yeah, bur I'm blind as well. All the people I did call blind was just Andy. Andy, I am the same way. Being blind isn't always a bad thing, but it isn't always good. You are a great person but I have realize I am wrong. You aren't mainly I was. I'm as blind as they get. I'm a asshole and I know it. People when I was making a list didn't come to my mind, because they don't get hurt. But I am wrong. Everyone gets hurt... you people may never forgive me but, this was never meant to be. I wasn't going to do this because this was a stupid idea. You all are my friends even if you don't see me that way. I'm stubborn.

• I don't have anything anymore because of my bad decisions. But, I have excepted that. Nothings going to be the same because of me and I'm sorry. By me being a ass everyone else is coming together. I'm happy for you guys you will all have something that I only dream of having. You all have been true friends, and for that I thankyou... goodbye to you all, I wouldn't forgive myself as well. Everyone has acted so childish, including me, I hate change but things must. So long all you guys.

Conclusion 

Hehe well things are so much better, don't you think?

• Many days later I would say? Yeah things have been so fun lately and I really don't know? I miss a lot, but then again I don't. I found a new me I guess. I'm happy, and sad, but it's kinda a good sad. Although I do miss Dawn as a friend, I'm relieved. Try and figure that out. I tried to call her yesterday but the phone was busy. Maybe someday in the future I'll call again. Anywho, my bad luck seems to be over because so much good has come to me. I found out who care about me, and to me that means so much. Also I've made new friends will old friends and so on and so forth. Plus I found a new... hehe I'll tell you about that later.

• The STD is now the EWA, Extreme Wrestling Association. This should rock. We got some new members and old ones. practices are going to start in two weeks. They will be Thursdays and Sundays! Info on where they will be held is still up in the air.

• Lastly Tony needs to find a halloween costume.