Rating: R
Original Date of Completion: July 2002
Disclaimer: I own them all, and you can't have them. This is all fiction from my demented little mind, no suing me.
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Kirk's POV
I love my brother and all, but if he doesn't get away from me soon, I'm going to kill him. Or myself, whichever is quicker. I think unofficially he's moved onto my couch. That wasn't so bad when we were in Colorado. But now we're home for more than a week before we have to go to North Carolina. It's been two days since we absolutely murdered our biggest rivals in game 7 of the Western Conference Finals, to put us in the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time in four years, and I've had no alone time to celebrate with my boyfriend. It's just not in good taste to do it at Kris', with Julie and the kids. And I'm steering clear of Mac's pool room for the rest of my life. So usually, that would leave my place. But there's an ugly growth on my couch that I just can't seem to get rid of.
It's not even like we were ever that close. He was the spoiled brat baby of the family, while I was the neglected middle child. We bonded over the years because of hockey, but we were still nowhere near best friends. And damn sure nowhere near roommates. I curse under my breath as I walk around my living room, picking up his dirty clothes. I see his boxers laying on the floor and sigh with frustration. I drop the pile of dirty clothes onto the recliner and walk into the kitchen. I tear open the utility closet and rip out the broom. I walk back into the living room, and with the stick end of the broom start poking at his boxers. As I manage to get them on the stick, my door swings open. I turn to see who it is, prepared to toss the boxers right in Shawn's face if it's him. Instead, I see a Red Wings hat and curly hair jutting from the sides. Mac glances at me with an amused look on his face and shuts the door behind him.
"Is this some kind of gay, sexual thing I should be afraid of?" He asks, pushing Shawn's clothes back onto the floor and sitting down in their place.
"Fuck you," I reply, depositing the boxers onto the pile of clothes. "My brother is fucking slob,"
"Why is he still here?"
"Beats the piss outta me. It's not to keep me grounded for the Finals, since every other sentence out of his mouth is "What are you doing with your day with the Cup?" I'm ready to fucking strangle him,"
"Kris seems to be saying the same thing. Apparently, he wanted to do very naughty things to you after game 7, and you guys had nowhere to go. It's like your sixteen still living with mom and dad,"
I shoot him a cold stare. Naughty things were very present in my mind that night, and of course, Shawn was glued to my ass the whole night. It's not like anything would've actually happened, it's way too early for us to be thinking about sex. It would've just been nice to have the ability to do it if we had wanted to. But instead, the Shawn tumor was malignant as ever. I didn't even get to KISS Kris that night.
"I don't even want to talk about that. I couldn't even hug him in the room afterward because of fucking Sergei,"
Mac sighs in frustration and pulls the hat from his head. He runs his fingers through the mob of curls on his head and jams the hat back down.
"I told you not to worry about him. I'll handle him,"
"I know. But believe it or not Mr. I'mSoLoved, he's got more political power than you,"
"Yeah, and I've got more power in my fists than there is in his face,"
I giggle at him and cock my head to the side. "What?"
"Shut up, you know what I meant,"
"Somehow in all that I did," I laugh.
He grins and stands up from the chair. He cracks his back and walks over toward the kitchen. He grabs an open bag of Doritos from the table, and before I can warn him of their age, he eats a handful. An interesting grimace sweeps across his face and he drops the bag back onto the table.
"Got the movies?" He asks, wiping his hands on his jeans.
"Yeah," I reply, grabbing the cases from atop the TV. "You sure you want these two? Soul Food and My Best Friends Wedding are chick flicks, you know?"
He sighs over-dramatically and takes the movies from my hands. "I know, but Cheryl thinks we need a romantic evening. I tried to tell her we could be just as romantic watching Bloodsport," He explains, opening the door and standing in the doorway.
I laugh at him and shake my head. "Such a prince,"
"You know you want me," He jokes, flipping me off
I roll my eyes at him and lean against the door. "Oh yeah, so bad, you big hunk of meat you,"
We burst into laughter and shake our heads at each other. He utters a "See you later" through his laughter and walks down the stairs. I shut the door then turned back to my living room. I sigh as I stare at the pile of Shawn's clothes. It was like we were kids and sharing a bedroom again; my part was all clean, and his was a mess. Of course, our mom wasn't around to yell at us this time, which can be good or bad, depending on how you view it. I sighed again as I picked up the clothes and dropped them onto the couch, where he slept. If he didn't take care of them there, I really may kill him. And I think there is a law against that. But who knows, Michigan is weird.
I took care of a few more things in the living room then walked back to my bedroom. I plopped down onto the bed and cuddled up on a pillow. I stared over at the bedside table at the picture of me, Kris, and Julie from Cedar Point. That was a crazy day. I'd never gotten more sunburned in my life. Every inch of my skin screamed in pain. I hardly moved the entire ride back to Michigan, because even the slightest touch made me want to cry. When we got back, I begged someone to put lotion on me. Julie took pity on me, and agreed to. While she was doing it, we had our first and, I think, only conversation about Kris at that point. I don't even remember what started it. He was doing something, digging a hole, chopping wood, something manly like that. And I remember saying to her that she was a lucky girl. I hadn't really realized I was in love with Kris at that point, so I'd said it jokingly. But she replied in total seriousness with "I know I am, and one day you will be." As I relived that just now, it struck me like a puck to the teeth; she knew. Even back then, she knew how we felt. She'd dealt with knowing she'd lose him for four years. I muttered a wow under my breath and flipped onto my back. I'd always thought it before, but now it was only increased; Julie is amazing. I don't know how she does it. I don't think I could handle knowing I'd lose Kris for that long. I don't think I could handle knowing I'd lose Kris. I'd kill for even half of Julie's strength....
The phone rang out suddenly, snapping me from my thoughts. I rolled over on the bed and glanced at the caller ID. To my dismay, the ID read Shawn's cell number. If he was calling me to pick him up from some woman’s house again, I'm going to lose my mind. I picked up the phone with a sigh and brought it to my ear.
"What?" I asked, dispensing with the pleasantries.
"Do you always answer your phone so rudely?" He asked in reply.
"When I know it's you I do. What do you want Shawn?"
"I'm not coming home tonight. Just thought I'd tell you," He explained, static fuzzing at the end.
"Okay, later," I said, trying to disguise my happiness.
"Later,"
I hung the phone up and shouted an ecstatic "Yes!" I bounced slightly on the bed and kicked my feet in excitement. After two weeks with Shawn setting up residence in my ass, I was finally getting a night alone. Only thing is, I didn't want to be alone. There was a certain guy I wanted to be with; we had a lot of celebrating to make up for. I took a deep breath to calm my excitement and reached over for the phone. Without even looking, I dialed Kris' number then clutched the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" Kris answered after only one ring.
"Shawn's gone for the night," I replied, getting straight to the point.
"Aww, are you lonely without your tumor?" He giggled
"Well, I won't be if you get your ass over here,"
"I can do that," He stated, pausing at the finish of his statement. "What do you want to do?"
I paused and took a deep breath. "I just want you here Kris, nothing else matters," I stated, a huge smile conquering my face.
"I'll be there in a few, baby. Love you,"
"Love you too,"
I heard his phone shut off, then placed mine back onto the base. I lay back on the bed and let the butterflies do their dirty work. Anytime he said he loved me, they attacked like the vicious creatures they are. I'm surprised I'm still alive with the way my heart fluttered anytime I talked to him. Dangerously in love was a term Homer used to use when referring to how I felt about Kris. It used to piss me off, because I hated to admit that the situation was out of my control, even though I knew it was. I agreed with it now though. I am dangerously in love with Kris. But it's not really so dangerous anymore, he feels the same way. So anyone can call it whatever they want, all that matters to me is he loves me.
I got up from the bed and walked into the living room. I pushed Shawn's clothes to the end of the couch, then laid down. I dug around in the couch cushions until I produced the remote. I turned the TV on and stared tiredly at the TV guide. When nothing caught my eye, I flipped the channel to the digital music classical channel. From practice earlier, and still from the Colorado series, I was whipped. I yawned and closed my eyes, just to rest before Kris got there.
* * *
"Kirk, wake up," I heard whispered, followed by a poke in my ribs.
I flinched and turned onto my back. I heard laughter, and identified the person poking me as Kris before I even opened my eyes. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and smiled up at him. He sat down beside me on the couch and leaned down to kiss me. It was only a short kiss before he pulled away and ran his fingers through my hair. As always, my heart fluttered, and I closed my eyes and smiled. I still had a hard time believing it was real sometimes. I opened my eyes, and he kissed me again.
"You're beautiful when you just wake up, you know that?" He said brightly, a smile engulfing his face.
I blushed and couldn't help but look away from him. "No way,"
He brought my eyes back to his with his hand. He smiled down at me again and kissed me softly on the cheek. I blushed again, but this time I kept my eyes locked with his.
"You tired?" He asked
"A little bit," I replied quickly, not thinking before I spoke.
In a situation where you're finally alone with your boyfriend for the first time in weeks, admitting you’re tired is probably the last thing you should do. But the question caught me by surprise. It's really unfair, he knows I can't think when I first wake up. He's used that to his advantage numerous times. I wound up naked in the pool at a Best Western because of that. Don’t ask, it's a LONG story.
"Well, maybe you should go to bed," He said softly, stroking my hair.
I stopped myself this time before I spoke. I grabbed his hand from my hair and entwined my fingers with his. He smiled down at me and brought his lips back to mine. We shared a series of quick pecs then separated, smiles plastered across our faces.
"The only way I'm going to bed is if you come with me," I said simply.
I watched with amusement as his green eyes lit up. He leaned down and kissed me once more. Unlike the others, this kiss was long, and passionate. Our tongues touched only slightly, but each time I'd shudder from the feeling. When we pulled apart, both of us were short of breath. My lips burned from the friction from his beard, and his lips glowed a bright pink. But neither one of us could stop smiling. Call it new love, or whatever, but this whole insane smiling thing was something I could really get used to. I hoped Kris felt the same way, because I don't think I'd ever be able to look at him and not smile. After so many years of having to love him from afar, of convincing myself he'd never be mine, just being with him was enough to make me explode in happiness. Add to that, that he's really nice to look at, and you'll know why I can't stop smiling.
"Well," Kris stated, standing up from the couch. "Let's go then,"
He extended his hand to help me up, and I damn near jumped to my feet. I tried as best I could, but I couldn't contain all of my excitement. It was just too long in the waiting to not be excited for. Five years we'd been rooming together, three years since I've been in love with him, and tonight would be the first time we'd ever slept in the same bed. Kris, sleeping next to me, in my bed. The thought made me giddy. Before I could stop myself, I bounced on my heels. He raised an eyebrow and giggled, then pulled me close to him. I slipped my arms around his neck, and we shared another quick kiss. I pulled away, then grabbed his hand and walked back with him to the bedroom.
The second we entered the bedroom, we reverted to nervous 14-year-olds. We sat on the bed in silence, occasionally glancing over at each other, then blushing and turning away. It was really ridiculous. We've slept in the same room countless times. We’ve laid together and cuddled before. We've even seen each other naked. But apparently, stripping down to our boxers to sleep was a bit too much for us. That had to be what was causing the tension, nothing else made sense. I couldn't explain why I was suddenly so nervous. Only five minutes before, I was giddy at the thought of having Kris in my bed. But now I was realizing it was KRIS, in MY bed. It was a three-year long dream coming true. It's only expected I was little apprehensive. I looked over at Kris and smiled at the nervousness in his emerald green eyes. I moved over on the bed and grasped his hand in mine. He leaned over and kissed me softly, and instantly my nervousness was drained away. He smiled and ran his hand down my cheek.
"We're being ridiculous," He sighed, patting the back of my hand.
"I know, it's just sleep," I replied.
"So then why aren't we getting undressed and doing that?"
I smirked at him and rubbed my thumb against his hand. "Maybe you're afraid I wouldn't be able to control myself in the presence of your hot body?"
He rolled his eyes and got to his feet. My eyes were glued to his hands as they found the buttons of his shirt. Quickly, not paying attention to me at all, he undid the buttons and tossed the shirt onto my chair.
"Yeah, that's it. God knows I'm so hot, no one can control themselves," He said sarcastically, unbuttoning his pants.
I decided to join in with the undressing, and pulled my t-shirt over my head. I tossed it toward my laundry hamper, then got to my feet. I continued to watch Kris as he slid his pants from his legs. When they were off, he folded them up and sat them on the chair. He stood before me now in only a pair of white boxer briefs, and I couldn't peel my eyes away. Slowly, my eyes wandered across his body. So many times I'd wanted to look at him like I was right now, but I never did it out of fear. Now it was just he and I, and I was taking full advantage of the situation. My eyes traveled over every inch of his torso, stopping to count the various bruises decorating his pale skin. I was able to count 11 before Kris' "Ahem" snapped me back to reality. I looked up at him and flashed a quick smile.
What are you looking at?" He asked, sitting next to me on the bed.
"Counting the bruises. You really look beat down," I replied softly, sliding my pants from my legs.
He crawled up the bed and laid back against the headboard. Slowly, I turned on the bed and inched up next to him. The nervousness made a return appearance, but it was quickly vanquished with a kiss. Kris turned onto his side and slowly dragged a finger down my chest, tracing over the bruises decorating me. I shuddered lightly under his touch, getting a light giggle out of him.
"I could say the same thing about you. You have way more bruises than I do," He avowed, continuing to trace along my chest.
"Yeah....Well....I'm tougher than you," I chided, turning onto my side then reaching over and switching off the lamp.
"Is that right?" He asked, draping an arm around me.
"Uh huh," I replied,
That was all I got in reply before our lips met again. The kiss took off in a heated fury. Our lips mashed sloppily together. It was like we tried to make up for all the years we hadn't been together with this one kiss. I turned to face him, and our hands began roaming tentatively across each other's bodies. The passion exuded in our kisses was incredible. My body felt weak from the sensations coursing through it. My hands drifted slowly up Kris' back and found themselves in his hair. I ran my fingers through his hair, clenching my hands in it as he nibbled softly on my bottom lip. I moaned quietly as Kris' fingers played around the waist of my boxers. I batted his hands away playfully, and they found their way to my back. Slowly he caressed my skin, and I buried my face in his neck. I inhaled, and I felt Kris giggle against me. Then suddenly, the light flicked on. Instantly Kris pulled away from me and covered himself with the sheet. My eyes flashed to the door, where the last person I wanted to see was standing there.
Shawn.
"Shawn, wait!" I pleaded, jumping out of bed and bolting toward the door.
He didn't listen to me, and turned and sped away from the door. I was hot on his heels as he walked out the front door. I didn't take the time to care I was in my boxers, and charged after him, yelling for him to stop. As he reached the parking lot, I grabbed him by the shoulder. He stopped dead in his tracks, and slowly turned around to face me. My stomach churned as I saw his face. There were tears in his eyes. I'd shattered the image he had of me. He always looked up to me, "the big brother that made it." And now he'd caught me in bed with my boyfriend. I couldn't begin to imagine the thoughts running through his head. He leaned back against my car and nervously jammed his hands into his pocket. I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest as a stiff breeze blew by.
"Shawn, let me explain," I sighed, knowing it probably wouldn't do me any good.
"There's nothing to explain Kirk," He whispered, sniffling.
My heart was smashed to bits seeing him like that. Knowing I'd let him down wasn't a feeling I ever wanted to feel. I felt a hot tear slip down my face, and wiped it away with my finger.
"Shawnie, please. Let me...."
"Why couldn't you tell me!" He raged, making me jump back from the force of his words.
I leaned back against a car behind me and stared at him in shock. For what could be the 50th time in the last few weeks, my brain predicted a reaction before it even happened. Those were not the words I expected Shawn to scream at me. Queer, fag, evil, you're not my brother anymore, those were expected. But instead, he said "Why couldn't you tell me?" I didn't have the slightest inkling what his reaction could mean. But as usual, my paranoid mind thought the worst. I was half expecting him to attack me, especially with the way he'd just snapped. I inched closer to the sidewalk and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Shawn, I...."
"Why couldn't you tell me, Kirk?" He asked quietly, tears streaming down his face.
"Shawn, I didn't know how you'd react. And believe me, this is the last way I wanted to find out," I replied, staring at the ground.
I couldn't bare to look at him. Sure, I'd seen him cry a few billion times, I'd been the cause of most of them. But in this situation, it tore me up to see it. His reaction still had me clueless. He wasn't screaming at me, but he was crying, and that may be worse. I couldn't even begin to figure out why he was crying. Of course, I still had my thoughts. It was disappointment. I'd let my little brother down.
"Why couldn't you have told me this when I was 14?" He asked, sniffling and wiping his eyes on his shirt.
"It's not really the thing you tell your little brother...."
"Kirk," He interrupted. "I'm gay,"
Our eyes locked instantly, and neither of us moved. I was certain that at any moment, I'd wake up in a hotel somewhere, and find out we'd never beaten Colorado 7-0, Kris didn't really love me, and there was no way in hell my brother just told me he was gay. I ran my hand through my hair and tugged lightly to make sure this was real. I winced from the quick pain, thus assuring myself it was real. I stepped from the sidewalk and leaned next to Shawn against my car. Our eyes stayed locked, but neither one of us could speak. Every time I opened my mouth, I'd lose all the words. He'd really just said it. My brother just admitted to me he was gay. I wasn't the only gay one in the family anymore. Not that I was suddenly itching to tell my parents or anything, but it was kind of a comfort to not be alone. A smile crept slowly to my lips, and I did the only thing I could think of. I reached over and pulled Shawn into a hug. The second we embraced, the floodgates opened.
"God Shawnie, I'm sorry I never told you," I cried, rubbing his back.
"No, I understand that you didn't. It woulda been nice when I was first dealing with this though," He said back, talking into my shoulder.
"Yeah, it would've been nice for me too. Though you were eight when I first realized," I laughed.
"Eight?"
"Eight,"
"God, you're old," He giggled, trying to pull away from me.
"Fuck you," I laughed, squeezing him tightly and pounding on his back. "I can still kick your ass, regardless if we're both all emotional,"
We both laughed, and relaxed back into the hug. There was no doubt this was the longest we'd ever hugged in our lives, but honestly it wasn't all that bad. It wasn't annoying and uncomfortable like usual brotherly hugs. This was relaxed, and comforting. It was a huge relief to find out Shawn was gay. I suddenly wasn't the only odd one in the family. I didn't have to go around thinking I was some kind of colossal freak for being the only gay one anymore. I was no longer alone. And that was a damn good feeling.
I can't honestly say how much longer we hugged. It was weird. It was like neither of us wanted to separate, out of fear the whole situation might cease to be real. Our parents would sure be happy to know we were bonding like this, though probably not under the circumstances. We probably found out more about each other in that brief time than we had our entire lives. Everything from how we knew, to first boyfriends, to last boyfriends was discussed in the contours of that hug. We probably would've stayed like that forever, if Kris' footsteps didn't cause us to jump apart. He approached hesitantly, his eyes locked on me. I smiled in the darkness, but I quickly realized that was worthless unless my teeth emitted a radioactive glow. I patted Shawn on the shoulder, then walked over to where my boyfriend stood frozen like a deer in headlights.
I visibly saw him tense as I approached, and glance past me at his car, almost like he was calculating if he could rush past me. I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly. I felt some of the tension drain from him and couldn't help but smile that just that simple touch can have that effect on him. I'm not the only crazy one in this relationship. I decide to get brave and go with our biggest tension killer. I lean forward and plant a small kiss to his lips. He kisses back, but it's not what it should be. I pull back and look into his eyes, which are focused completely on Shawn. It occurs to me for the first time since he walked outside that I should actually TELL him everything is okay. I put my hand on his elbow and stare into his terrified green eyes.
"Kris, it's okay. Shawnie just told me he's gay, too,"
The terror immediately flees his face and his expression softens. I smile and caress his cheek. He grabs my hand in his and kisses the back of my hand. I shiver, but I think it's more from the cold night air than from the kiss. Nonetheless, Kris laughed at me.
"Are you going to do that every time I touch you?" He asks, blatantly teasing me from the tone of his voice.
"I giggle and decide to play along. "Would it bother you entirely if I did?"
"Hmm," He replies, scratching his chin. "Let's see,"
Before I know it, he pulls me into a hug and rubs his hand slowly up my back. Though I try to fight it, I submit to a shudder, and Kris collapses into giggles against my shoulder. I try to push him away, but he holds on and kisses lightly at my neck. There's no way I would voluntarily part with that, so I bury my face in his neck and rest my hand in his hair. I place a few kisses to his neck before he slaps me on the ass, and I jump back with an exaggerated "eep." He giggles again and grasps my hand.
"As much as I want to stay here and make out with you in plain sight for the world to see, I should probably get home," He states, rubbing his thumb against my palm.
"Why? I thought you were staying the night?" I ask, worry evident in my voice.
He smiles and kisses the back of my hand again. "Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time for that. You should be with Shawnie tonight, It's a big night for you guys,"
I nod my head then lean forward and kiss him. I try to part after only a peck, but Kris pulls me back and slowly pushes his tongue into my mouth. I easily allow him entry, and our tongues met eagerly. The kiss was so heated, it was like we picked up where we left off in the bedroom. And much like the bedroom, this kiss was ended by Shawn. But instead of turning on a light, he ran up behind me and yanked on my boxers, exposing half my ass to the world. I instantly felt my face get red and jumped away from Kris, pulling up my shorts. He looked like he was ready to burst with laughter, and Shawn was already on the sidewalk clutching his stomach. I walked over and kicked Shawn hard in the leg, then turned back to Kris. Tears of laughter rolled from his eyes, and I just shook my head. We shared another quick peck, then he pulled his car keys from his pants pocket.
"Love you," He said sweetly, singling out his car key.
"Love you too, see you at practice tomorrow,"
He winked at me then walked over to his car. I watched him until he pulled out of the parking lot then turned to my brother, still laying on the ground laughing at his shenanigans. I extended my hand to help him up, then hit him in the back of the head. He yelled a startled "owwie" and rubbed at the back of his head. I laughed at my victory and started back toward my apartment. Shawn chased after me and threw an arm around my shoulder.
"So you two really were fooling around all these years? Mac too?" He says as we ascend the stairs.
"Shawnie my boy," I reply, shaking my head. "You've got A LOT to learn,"
TBC
© 2002 Triple X
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