Rating: R
Original Date of Completion: September 2002
Pairing: Rob Van Dam/Lance Storm
Rob Van Dam/Beulah McGillicutty/Teresa is also heavily involved.
Disclaimer: I own no one. This is completely fake, and conjured in the confines of my demented little mind. I in no way, shape, or form endorse the actions mentioned by these characters. None of this ever happened, so please keep that in mind as you read. Also, please don't sue me.
***********************
I thought it was over, baby
We said our goodbyes
But I can't go a day without your face
Goin' through my mind
In fact, not a single minute
Passes without you in it
Your voice, your touch, memories of your love
Are with me all of the time
Let me let go, baby
Let me let go
If this is for the best
Why are you still in my heart
Are you still in my soul
Let me let go
Faith Hill "Let Me Let Go"
Used Without Permission
Rob's POV
Five years is a long time. You'd think in five years, you could get over a lot of things. "Time will heal the pain" as the old adage goes. I was always a firm believer in that. And up until recently, I thought it had really worked for me. But then I saw her again. And the second I saw her, and looked into those deep blue eyes of hers, I was quickly reminded of all of the pain, and in an instant I realized how not healed I was.
In five years, I hadn't managed to run into her once. And then out of the blue, I saw her. I blame it all on Dawn, and her craving for Italian food. She suggested we go to Falcone's, which is a rather fancy Italian restaurant in Brooklyn. I didn't want to, but there is no arguing with Dawn and Lance when they decide to team up. So we went, and wouldn't you know it, she was there. Working. Five years ago, she had so much going for her. Every wrestling federation around was after her, and now she was a waitress. That was almost as shocking as seeing her at all. Almost.
Nothing could've prepared me for the shock of seeing her again, after so long. When she walked up to our table, and our eyes connected, my jaw dropped. Lance reached under the table and squeezed my knee, but I couldn't eve register the thought to look at him. My eyes were glued to hers. She looked just as shocked as I'm sure I did. I couldn't even tell you how long we stayed like that. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Dawn and Lance staring at me with concern, but they never spoke a word. They were waiting for me to do it, which I eventually did in the form of a stuttered "Teresa."
Her eyes widened, and it took her at least another minute before she spoke a quiet "Rob." My mind fought for something else to say, but each time it came up blank. She too looked like she wanted to say something, but every time her mouth opened it closed without a sound. This was going nowhere fast. At this rate, we’d still be here by the PPV tomorrow night. I knew I would have to say something, but I was clueless as to what. Thankfully though, like so many other times, Lance came to my rescue.
"How are you Tree?" He asked, using her nickname.
Her eyes snapped quickly from mine and focused on Lance. She smiled at him softly, and my heart lurched in my chest. After all this time, her smile still had that effect on me...
"I'm g good lance, how are you?" She stammered nervously.
Dawn looked at Lance and rolled her eyes. "Here we go," She groaned. "Now we get to hear all about his chronic foot pain for the umpteenth time,"
Teresa smiled and Lance shot a glare at Dawn. She made a ridiculous kissy face at him, and he immediately exploded in giggles. Lance has the most infectious laugh of anyone I'd ever known, and soon the rest of us, even Teresa joined in.
"Oh boy," Dawn laughed. "I think we'd better get some beers before we die over here,"
Teresa nodded and wiped at her eyes. "Two beers for you two?" She asked, looked at Lance and Dawn. They both answered with a nod.
"And a..." I started.
"Jack and coke for you," She said with a smile.
I nodded with a smile of my own, and she turned and walked toward the bar. After all this time, she still remembered my drink. That, unfortunately, was not enough to erase the pain, and my happiness quickly died away. Lance and Dawn glanced at me, and their laughter immediately ceased. They both frowned at me sadly, and Lance's hand found my knee again.
"You gonna be okay?" He asked quietly, rubbing my knee. "We can take off if you want. We can even leave Dawn. Maybe her and Tree can finally answer the question plaguing the world; Who is the TRUE queen of hardcore,"
Dawn rolled her eyes and I chuckled softly. "I'll be okay," I replied, reaching under the table and squeezing his hand. "It's just...hard,"
He smiled and nodded without another word. He'd always been so great about this situation, even from the beginning. After it happened, he was the first one there to comfort me. I guess it's not really a surprise that we wound up together. He helped me get over the worst pain of my life. And through the course of that, I fell in love with him. It's hard to believe that's been almost four years ago.
Teresa quickly returned with our drinks, and we ordered dinner. The tension pretty much left, but my mind was still on the past. Conversation was held almost strictly between Dawn and Lance. As much as I tried to stop it, I couldn't keep my mind from reliving that final day.
The months leading into what I'd dubbed "The End" for so many reasons, had been perfect. ECW was at one of it's highest points. I was one of, if not the biggest draw. I had what I'd thought was the most perfect relationship, with this absolutely beautiful woman. We'd just found out recently we were pregnant, and that night, I planned to ask her to marry me. Without saying, things obviously never got that far.
We didn't see much of each other that day. She was off with Francine doing the girl thing, and I spent the day with Tommy, picking up the ring, among other things. By the time we met for dinner later on that night, I was bouncing with excitement. I yanked her into my arms the second I saw her and kissed her right there on the street. I should've known something was up right then, she'd barely kissed back. But through my excited haze, I didn't think anything of it. I didn't really think anything was up until I saw how distanced she was at dinner. I remember it like yesterday. I reached across the table and grabbed her hand.....
* * *
"Tree, is something wrong?" I asked.
She smiled lightly and shook her head. "No, I'm fine," She replied plainly.
To anyone who didn't know her, they may believe that and move on to the next topic. But I knew her too well and too long to believe that. She wasn't a great liar to begin with, and with me it only got worse.
"Teresa," I stated firmly, staring her in the eye.
Our eyes locked, and for a brief time silence fell over us. But it was broken quickly with a sigh.
"I can't tell you here," She whispered, staring down at the table.
"Fine, we'll go," I said, pushing myself away from the table.
"No, Rob, just enjoy dinner. I'll tell you later,"
I shook my head and stood up from the table. "Nah uh, lets go,"
She sighed and brushed her hair from her shoulder. I'd made myself very clear I wasn't joking, but she'd yet to move. I felt sort of like an asshole for acting like this, but I hated seeing her upset. Teresa wasn't easily bothered by anything, so whatever it was that was on her mind must've been big for her to be acting like this. And there would be no way I could enjoy dinner, and do what I was planning on doing with her all detached and distanced.
Eventually, she got up from the table, and with a sigh we made our way outside. I reached for her hand as we stepped outside, but she pulled away and crossed her arms over her chest. She stared down at the ground and leaned against the building. I'd never seen her act like this, so it was doing a good job of freaking me out. My brow furrowed, and I stepped in front of her. I tucked my hand under her chin, and my fingers connected with wetness. She lifted her eyes to mine, and immediately my heart sunk. Tears streamed down her angelic face, marring the perfection in streaked make-up. I reached out to wipe them away, but she pulled away from my touch.
Tree..." I started, worry enveloping my voice.
"I lost the baby, Rob," She whispered through her tears.
With her words my heart shattered. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. Teresa looked away and stared at the street, sniffling intermittedly. One of my nightmares had come true. I couldn't even begin to imagine how she was feeling. I stepped forward to wrap my arms around her, but again she pulled away.
"I...Just...I can't. I'm sorry, Rob. I'm so sorry,"
She turned and walked quickly away. I tried to yell after her, but the words betrayed me. I could only watch as she sped away from me. Tears flowed liberally from my eyes, and my heart throbbed painfully in my chest. I felt myself going short of breath. I leaned against the building and slid slowly to the ground. The tears were full blown sobs now, and as I choked on them breathlessly, I felt my world start to go dark....
* * *
I shuddered and gripped onto the edge of the table. Startled, Dawn and Lance's eyes snapped to me. I stared at them and struggled to catch my breath. This was like so many other times when I'd relived that night via dreams. Usually, I'd wake up screaming, thankfully I hadn't done that this time. That hadn't happened in so long. For most of the past year, I've been able to put all of this behind me. Then tonight, I see her, and I'm instantly thrust back into the pain. I wish that watching her walk away that night would've been the worst of it all. But the next day, it got even worse.
I clamp my hands tightly onto the table, willing back the memories of the next day. That day, had been the single most painful day of my life. Hearing those words had killed me, at least for a little while. And to have them come from Francine, her best friend, I think that had made them even worse. She couldn't even tell me herself. She'd done this terrible thing, without even talking to me about it. And she made sure that I never had the chance. In one day, she'd went from the person I'd loved most in my life, to the person who'd hurt me more than anyone ever could again.
That was the last time I ever spoke to her, until tonight. She left ECW without a word to anyone besides Paul and Francine. I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to hear that what Francine said wasn't true. But I could never find her. Once she left ECW, she disappeared. Not even Francine knew where she was. I was forced to deal with the pain, without even a chance for closure. If I wasn't surrounded by friends, I don't think I ever would've made it. Because even now, five years later, remembering Francine's words make me feel like my heart was hallowed out with a plastic ice cream scoop all over again.
"Robbie, Teresa didn't lose the baby. She...took care of it. She didn't want to marry you, or have a baby, so she took care of it because she knew you wouldn't want to then..."
And she was right. After I heard that, the love that I felt for Teresa all but died. In all honesty, the love I felt for the female species died that day. Anytime a girl would hit on me, I'd get a twisting stomach in my feeling, and instantly I'd be reminded of everything, and I'd have to walk away and cry my eyes out for a while. Lance became glued to my side through that time. Every time it happened, he was right there to throw an arm around my shoulders and tell me it was all right. A year or so of that, I guess it's only expected I fell in love with him. That's why, that first night he kissed me, I kissed back. And since then, we'd been living as happily ever after as two people can be in this business. It had taken me so long to get past Teresa, but Lance had been patient the whole way. I loved him more now than I ever loved her. But she still had a part of me he couldn't touch. And it was that minute little part that allowed the pain to still sting as bad as it did five years ago....
"Rob," Lance's voice shook me somewhat from my trance. "You okay?" He asked again, rubbing his hand on my back.
I turned to him and smiled softly. His eyes brightened, and his hand rested on my neck. It stayed there longer than it should, but I'm not complaining. I stared at him with a sappy grin, and his hand squeezed my neck. Dawn rolled her eyes, and Lance stuck his tongue out at her.
"You're just jealous," He teased, inching closer to me.
"Yes, darling, I am. I so yearn for your hand on my neck," She shook her head and took a swig from her beer.
Lance smirked at her and raised his eyebrows. "You can have it more places than your neck, Cupcake,"
I burst into laughter almost immediately and laid my head down on the table. That's why I loved these two, the ability to make me laugh no matter what else may be on my mind. I can't count the number of times I'd been in a foul mood, and had it erased by some of their random banter. But as often as that worked, it wasn't completely successful tonight. My mind was still plagued by the past. Seeing her rekindled the flames of a pain that had almost been extinguished. I knew that I wasn't going to make it past this meeting without talking to her, or at least trying to. Things had been left completely unresolved five years ago. I couldn't waste a perfect opportunity to clear them up.
The only thing left to do now was to get her to talk. Five years and no contact didn't exactly speak well for the odds of that happening, but I still had to try. Unfortunately though, after "The End" I had no guts at all when it came to Teresa, so there was no way I could just come out and say "I need to talk to you." The chance of getting Lance to do it was non-existent, and asking Dawn to do it would be way too third grade for me. No, I had to do it myself. That much was for certain. How I was going to do it though, that remained a mystery.
"Are you going to join us here in the real world Robbie, or are you enjoying your trip to dreamland?" Dawn asked, waving her hand in front of my face.
"I smiled at her and shook my head. "I just...I'll be right back,"
I pushed myself away from the table and made my way back to the bathroom. I was going to tell them what my plan was, but not until I figured out for myself what it would be. Somehow, not involving actually speaking, I had to get her to talk to me. Yeah, that was going to work.
I sighed and walked up to the sink. I stared silently at myself in the mirror. I looked about as tired as I felt. It wasn't from lack of sleep, that's for sure. Combining today and the night before, I'd probably slept a good 20 hours. But the second I let myself slip into the memories, all my energy disappeared. It was certainly a draining experience, I don't know why I'm surprised. The draining effects would last a hell of a lot longer if I didn't find a way to talk to her. I turned on the faucet, then splashed water on my face. I watched the water slowly roll down my face, before reaching over and grabbing some paper towel. I dabbed the water from my face, then tossed the paper towel toward the trash, missing just barely. I sighed at my lack of throwing skill and walked over to the trash. I bent down to pick up the towel, and in that second it hit me. I grinned and tossed the towels into the trash.
"Can't believe this didn't hit me sooner," I said aloud, ripping off a sheet of paper towel and shoving it into my pocket.
With a soft chuckle I walked back out into the restaurant. I glanced over at my table, and saw Dawn and Lance digging into their food. That meant they were occupied, giving me more time to execute my plan. I walked up to the bar and waved my hand to get the bartender's attention. She smiled and walked down to where I stood.
"What can I get you?" She asked, in a heavily flirtatious tone.
"Do you have an ink pen I could borrow?" I asked, smiling softly.
"Sure," She replied, reaching down the bar and grabbing an ink pen.
She handed it to me then walked back down the bar. I pulled the paper towel from my pocket and smoothed it out in front of me. I sat down, and started to think of what to write. It was on paper towel, so it obviously wasn't going to be something hugely profound. What exactly do you say to someone who you haven't spoken to in five years? Especially someone who your last encounter with was less than pleasant. It needed to be nice, and straight to the point, that much I knew. I sighed and tapped the pen against the bar. Well, if it was straight to the point, there was really only one thing I could say. With a shrug, I brought pen to paper and started scribbling my message.
Teresa,
We really need to talk. Please meet me tomorrow at the coffee shop in the lobby of the Best Western on Fifth Street at 2:00. I'll understand if you don't show up, but please think about it. We have a lot we need to resolve.
Rob
I sat the pen down on the bar and folded up the paper. I shoved it back into my pocket, then walked back toward my table. Lance looked up as I approached, and flashed that concerned smile he does. I smiled at him and mouthed the words "I'm fine." He nodded and motioned to my food with his hand. I sat down, and immediately picked up my fork. Thinking too much has a way of making you hungry. And since we'd walked into this restaurant, all I'd done was think. But right now, all I wanted to do was eat. I could start thinking after dinner, mainly about how I'm going to get the note to her. But for now, linguini was all that's on my mind.
Both Dawn and Lance finished eating before I was even half way done. Their conversation resumed, including me only occasionally. I paid more attention to my food, only grunting or nodding when they asked me a question. Once I finished up, I slid the plate away from me and nudged Lance's foot under the table.
"You ready?" He asked, setting down his beer.
"Yep," I replied simply, leaning back in my chair and stretching my arms over my head.
"One of us had better get a taxi, you know how it gets around here at night," Dawn interjected, slipping her jacket on.
Add another reason to the list of why I love Dawn: creating a perfect opportunity without even knowing it. If they went to get the taxi, I could easily leave the note for Teresa right here on the table, next to her tip. I'd be assured she'd see it then. And I wouldn't have to see her face when she read it. It was perfect.
"You guys go get the taxi, I'll pay," I explained, reaching into my pocket for my wallet.
"You'd better tip her, Robbie," Dawn grinned as she stood.
"With money," Lance winked as he stood.
They turned and walked outside as I picked the bill up. It was a surprisingly small amount for a restaurant of this class. Not that I was complaining, it was just a shock. I sat the money for the bill on the tray, and sat an extra 20 on the table for her tip. With a sigh, I stood up from the table and reached into my pocket. I unfolded the towel, and sat it next to the bill tray. I sat the 20 on top of it, then glanced across the room.
She stood staring at me from over near the bar. Through the crowded room, our eyes locked on each other's. My heart throbbed loudly in my ears. Silently, words were spoken between us. In my mind, I told her what I'd written on the napkin, and in the end, she nodded. It was amazing that after all these years, we still shared that connection. We stared for at least another minute, before I was finally able to smile at her. She smiled, and I grabbed my jacket from the chair and tossed it onto my shoulder. Without looking back, I walked out of the restaurant and down the sidewalk to where Dawn and Lance were waiting.
"Did you say good bye to her?" Dawn asked as she stepped into the taxi. "Could be another five years before you see her again,"
"No," I replied, sliding in next to her. "Something tells me it won't be that long,"
TBC
© 2002 Triple X
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