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~*~October 25, 2001~*~

I have no idea how you feel right about now. I have said my farewells to you, but it doesnt seem right. I always felt complete around you, but then now, it's as if you are some kinda burden. But when I begin to meditate about it, you are not a burden. It doesnt make sense to me and I wish it did. I was crying and I told you I wanted to let you go, it seemed as if you didnt care at all. Like you just wanted to give up, then it occurs to me that I have done the same thing to you. I am sorry, and I have said sorry in my other letter. And perhaps, I am loving you too much, maybe I am needing you too much. I want you there with me, but you dont understand the way that I want you. Yes, it is true, you do overlook things, I have noticed that. You try to look for an answer, when the answer is so simple. You dont want to understand how simple I am, and simple things I want. I want you, but you don understand the way I want you.

I need you to comfort me, I need you to tell me things. This is my demanding side, I am telling you what I want, I am giving you the answers at this moment how to use my keys. I dont know why, because I am supposed to let you find out, but I want to make sure 100% that you know how to use them. If you want to find out, then tell me, but now, if you want me to show you, then I will. If you are in thought, that you hate me then I understand, but tell me, please do not leave me not knowing, even if you hate me with all your might and you want me to suffer.


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