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Click HERE for a printer friendly version of the script. All lyrics of songs are bold.
All right All right All right. What's it gonna be? A triple cream cut for
Christopher.... A sizzler for Jule Marie. And listen, Wonka's got a new one.
What is it?
This is called a scrumdidilyumptious bar.
Scrumdidilyumptious bar? How does he do it?
My dear boy, Do you ask a fish how it swims?
NO
Or a bird how it flies?
NO
Nosiree you don't. They do it because they were born to do it. Just like
Willy Wonka was born to be a candy man, and you look like you were born to
be a wonkerer.
Who can take a sunrise,
Sprinkle it with dew,
Cover it with chocolate,
And a miracle or two?
The candy man!
The candy man can.
The candy man can cause he mixes it with love,
And makes the world taste good.
Who can take a rainbow,
Wrap it in a sigh,
Soak it in the sun and make the strawberry-lemon pie?
The candy man?
The candy man.
The candy man can.
The candy man can cause he mixes it with love,
And makes the world taste good.
Willy Wonka makes,
Everything he bakes,
Satisfying and delicious.
Talk about your childhood wishes,
You can even eat the dishes.
Who can take tomorrow,
Dip it in a dream.
Seperate all the sorrow,
And collect up all the cream?
The candy man-Willy Wonka man.
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The candy man can.
The candy man can cause he mixes it with love,
And makes the world taste good.
And the world tastes good.
Cause the candy man thinks it should!
Hi Mr. Jopeck.
Ah, come along Charley, you're late.
It's payday, Mr. Jopeck.
You're right. There you are.
Thanks.
Say hello to your grandpa Joe.
OK
Up the airy mountains, down the rushing glen. We dare not go a-hunting,
for fear of little men.
You see, nobody ever goes in, nobody ever comes out.
Charley is late.
He works too hard for a little boy. He should have some time to play.
Not enough hours in the day. With the four of you bedridden for the past
20 years, it takes a lot of work to keep this family going.
If only his father were alive.
Soon as I get my strength back, I'm gonna get out of this bed and help him.
Dad, in all the years you've been saying you were going to get out of that
bed, I've yet to see you set foot on that floor.
Maybe if the floor wasn't so cold.
Hi everybody!
Wake up wake up, Charley's home.
Grampa George, Gramma Georgina, Gramma Josephine, Grampa Joe. Is this your
supper, Grampa?
Well it's yours too, Charley.
I'm fed up with cabbage water, it's not enough.
Charley
It's all we have.
What are you saying?
How 'bout this?
Charley, where'd you get that?
What difference does it make, where he got it? Point is, he got it.
It's my first payday.
Good for you Charley, we'll have a real banquet.
Mom, here's what's left, you keep it, except for this. From now on, I'm
going to pay for your tobacco.
No one is going to pay for it, Charley, I'm giving it up.
Come on dad, it's only one pipe a day.
When a loaf of bread looks like a banquet, I have no right buying tobacco.
Go on, Grampa, please take it.
After I finished my paper route, I was in front of Wonka's. There was this
strange man there. I think he was a tinker. He was standing right behind me
looking up at the factory. Just before he left, he said 'nobody ever goes in,
and nobody ever comes out'.
And right he was, Charley. Not since the tragic day that Willy Wonka locked
it.
Why'd he lock it?
Because, all the other chocolate makers in the world were sending in spies,
dressed as workers to steal Mr. Wonka's secret recipes. Especially Slugworth
oh that Slugworth, he was the worst. Finally Mr. Wonka shouted 'I shall be
ruined!', closed the factory, and that's just what he did. He locked the
gates, and vanished completely. And then, suddenly, about three years later
the most amazing thing happened. The factory started working again, full
blast, and more delicious candies were coming out than ever before. But the
gates stayed locked, so that no one, not even Mr. Slugworth, could steal
em.
But Grampa, someone must be helping Mr. Wonka work the factory.
Thousands must be helping him.
But who, who are they?
That is the biggest mystery of them all.
Charley Bucket!
Yes Mr. Turpentine?
I shall need an assistant, come n give me a hand. We have here nitric acid,
glycerine and a special mixture of my own. Together it's horrible dangerous
stuff, that blows you up. But mixed together in the right way, as only I
know how, what do you think it makes?
I don't know, sir.
Course you don't know, you don't know because only I know. If you knew and
I didn't know then you'd be teaching me instead of me teaching you and for
a student to teach his teacher is presumptuous and rude. Do I make myself
clear?
Yes sir.
Now mixed together in the right way, these three highly dangerous ingredients
make the finest wart remover in the world. The trick is to pour them in
equal amounts. Now Charley, you take the nitric acid and the glycerine,
and I'll take my own special mixture. You ready? Good lad, pour.
(boom!)
Did we do it wrong?
No certainly not, this is for very big wart. Now what's going on out there?
You winkleton, come here, what's happening.
Willy Wonka is opening his factory, he's gonna let people in.
Are you sure?
It's on the radio, he's giving truckloads of chocolate away.
Class dismissed!
No it's only for five people.
Class undismissed.
He sent out five golden tickets and the people who find them will win the
big prize.
Where's he hidden the tickets?
Inside five Wonka bars, you gotta buy Wonka bars to find 'em.
Class redismissed.
And now details on the sudden announcement that has captured the
attention of the entire world. Hidden among the countless billions
of Wonka bars, are five gold tickets. And to the five people who
find them will come the most fabulous prize one could wish for. A
lifetime supply of chocolate. And as if this were not enough, each
winner, before he receives his prize, will be personally escorted...
They're all crazy.
Shhhh the man's a genius. He'll sell a million bars.
Grampa, do you think I've got a chance to find one?
One? I'm counting on you to find all five.
One's enough for me.
Already we have reports coming in that the response is phenomenal.
Wonka bars are beginning to disappear from candy store shelves at
a rate to boggle the mind. Truly it is incredible the way that
Wonka mania has descended upon the globe. While the world searches,
we watch and wait. Wondering where the pursuit will lead. And how
long the spirit of man will hold up under the strain.
I'm still having these dreams, doctor and I still can't stop myself from
believing them.
I've told you, Mr. Hostettler, to believe in one's dreams is a manifestation
of insanity. And the sooner you accept this, the sooner you'll get well.
But I dreamed the arc angel appeared and whispered into my ear and told me
where to find the golden Wonka ticket.
And what exactly did he say?
Well what difference does that make? This was a dream, a fantasy. I mean you
said yourself...
Shut up Hostettler and tell me where the ticket is!
We begin with five golden tickets, like five lucky bolts of light-
ning, ready to strike without notice, at any point on the map. No
one knew where, no one knew when the first one would hit. But as you
know last night, we got our answer. While we and America slept,
the first golden ticket was found in the small town of Duselheim,
Germany. We've been waiting several hours for the follow up story.
And we're finally ready for the live report.
Proud we are with the attention of the entire world, focuses to be
right here in Duselheim a community suddenly thrusted into
prominence by the unexpected recovery of the first Wonka golden
ticket. The lucky finder the lucky finder is the son of our most
prominent town butcher, the boy's name, Agustus Gloob, Agustus Gloob
the pride of Duselheim, the fame of western Germany, an example for
the whole world.......
Go on go on open it charley. I want to see that gold.
Stop it dad.
I've got the same chance as anybody else, haven't I?
You've got more, Charley, because you want it more. Go on, open it.
Here goes. I GOT IT!
Where where?
Let's see!
Fooled you didn't I. You thought I really had it.
Never mind, Charley. You'll find one.
Here, everybody have a bite.
(no's)
I wanted to be the first to find a golden ticket, daddy.
I know, angel, we're doing the best we can. I've got every girl on the
bleeding staff hunting for ya.
All right, where is it, why haven't they found it?
Veruca, sweetheart, I'm not a magician! Give me time!
I want it now! What's the matter with those twerps down there.
For five days now the entire flipping factory has been on the job. They
haven't shelled a peanut in there since Monday. They've been shelling flaming
chocolate bars from dawn to dusk.
Make 'em work nights!
Come along come along you girls put a jerk in it or you'll be out on your
rears every one of ya'. And listen to this, the first girl that finds a
Golden Ticket, gets a one pound bonus in their pay bucket. What do you think
of that?
(cheers)
They're not even trying, they don't want to find it, they're jealous of me.
Sweetheart, I can't push 'em no harder, 19,000 bars an hour their shelling.
760,000 they've done so far.
You promised daddy, you promised I'd have it the very first day!
You're gonna be very unpopular around here Henry if you don't deliver soon.
That breaks my heart, Henrietta, I hate to see her unhappy.
I won't talk to you ever again. You're a rotten, mean father. You never give
me anything I want. And I won't go to school until I have it.
Veruca, sweetheart, angel. Now there are only four tickets left in the whole
world and the whole rotty world's hunting for them, what can I do?
I got it, I got it Mr. Salt, here it is!
And about time too, I want it! Give me that ticket! It's mine, I've found a
golden ticket!
Thank God for that.
Aye. Happiness is what counts for children. Happiness and harmony.
This, ladies and gentlemen is the sign of our times. The symbol of
the havoc. The mad craze that is sweeping the world today.
Whatever corner of the globe we're in, whichever of the five
continents we're on, the great search for Wonka bars continues.
We're now nearing the end of our 43rd day in the hunt for golden
tickets. And everywhere, we're beginning to see signs of anxiety.
Every hour on the hour new shipments are being sent to different
points around the globe. But their just not moving fast enough.
And as time passes, the men who seek them become more and more
desperate.
Gentlemen, I know how anxious you have all been enjoying these last few days
but now I know I can safely say, that your time and money have been well
spent. We're about to witness the greatest miracle of the machine age.
Based on the revolutionary Completonion law of Probability, this machine
will tell us the precise location of the three remaining golden tickets.
It says I won't tell that would be cheating. I am now telling the computer
that if it will tell me the answer, I would gladly share with it the grand
prize. He says, what would a computer do with a lifetime supply of chocolate
Ha ha. I am now telling the computer exactly what he can do with a lifetime
supply of chocolate.
And it can happen right here too, unbelievable as it sounds, right
here in America. Where even in the smallest town, the happiest of
dreams can come true. Because folks, here she is, Miss Violet
Borigard finder of Wonka's golden ticket number three, from Miles
City, Montana. And with her the proud parents Mr. Borigard a
prominent local politician, a great civic leader...
Hi friends Sam Borigard here, square deal Sam to you with all today's great
give away bargains, the finest values you'll get anywhere in the entire
country. Now this little number right here is...
Would you care to say a few words to the people?
Sure I will, here it is golden ticket number three and it's all mine.
Tell us how it happened, Violet.
Well I'm a gum chewer, normally, but when I heard about these ticket things
of Wonka's I laid off the gum and switched to candy bars instead. Now of
course, I'm right back on gum. I chew it all day except at meal times when
I stick it behind my ear.
Violet..
Cool it mother! Now this piece of gum is one I've been chewing on for three
months solid. And that's a world record. It's beaten the record held by my
best friend, Miss Cornilia Prinsmedal. And whoa is she mad. Hi Cornilia how
are you sweetie.
Let me just butt in here for a moment...
Charley, what are you doing here?
I thought if you were ready, I'd walk you home.
I wish I were. It looks like I'm gonna be here late tonight.
Oh, well then I guess I'll be going.
Well why don't you stay a minute? Here pull up a pile of clothes and sit down
Everything all right at school?
Yep
Good. Tour the newspaper route today?
Just finished.
Good.
I wanted to tell you something.
Oh?
They found the third ticket today.
Did they?
Yeah. I guess I'll be going now.
Is that all?
I thought you'd like to know. Most people are pretty interested. I know I'm
interested. There are only two tickets left, you know? Just two. Pretty soon,
just one.
I wonder who the lucky ones will be.
Well in case you're wondering if it will be me, it won't be. Just in case
you're wondering, you can count me out.
Charley, there are 100 billion people in this world and only 5 of them will
find golden tickets. Even if you had a sack full of money you probably
wouldn't find one. And after this contest is over you'll be no different
from the billions of others who didn't find one.
But I am different. I want it more than any of them.
Charley, you'll get your chance. One day things will change.
When? When will they change?
Probably when you least expect it.
You'll get through like everyone,
But me and Grandpa Joe can make your troubles go away,
Blow away, there they go.
Cheer up Charley, give me a smile.
What happened to that smile I used to know.
Don't you know your grin has always been my sunshine.
Let the sunshine show.
Come on Charley, no need to frown.
Deep down you know the world is still your toy.
When the world gets heavy never pidder padder.
Up and atom, boy.
Someday, sweet as a song,
Charley's lucky day will come along.
Till that day you've got to stay up strong, Charley.
Up on top is right where you belong.
Look up Charley, you'll see a star.
Just follow it and keep your dreams in view.
Pretty soon the sky is gonna clear up Charley.
Cheer up Charley, do.
Cheer up Charley, just be glad you're you.
While the rest of the world keeps searching here in the southwest it
has actually happened. That's what I said friends, there's only one golden
ticket left in the entire world. Because right here in our own community of
Marble Falls, Arizona is lucky winner number 4. Now the name soon to be
heard around the universe is Mr. Mike TV.
Hey Mike you think we might shut that thing off?
No are you crazy?
He won't answer until a station break.
Come on the country wants to hear from you, the world is waiting.
Can't you shut up, I'm busy. Boy what a great show.
I serve all his TV dinners right here. He's never even been to the table.
You love to watch TV, Mike?
You bet!
What about that golden ticket, Mike that's...
Hold it! I want to catch this.
You like the killings, huh?
What do you think life's all about?
Mike would you tell us to ...
Wait till I get a real one. Colt 45. Pop won't let me have one yet, will ya
pop?
Not till you're twelve, son.
Four down and one to go and somewhere out there another lucky
person is moving closer and closer to finding the last of the most sought
after prizes in history. Though we can not help to envy him, whoever it is,
and we might be tempted to be bitter, we must remember there are many more
important things MANY more important things. Offhand I can't think of what
they are but I'm sure there must be something. And now for tomorrow's
weather...
Why'd you wake me up Grampa, is something wrong? Grampa that money was for
tobacco.
I told you Charley, I've given it up. Go on, open it. One ticket left, now
let's see some of that gold.
No you do it, I can't.
Something tells me we're gonna be lucky this time. I have a funny feeling
inside. Which end should I open first?
That end. Just a tiny bit.
Like this?
Now a bit more.
Here you finish it, I can't
No grampa you do it.
All right, here goes.
You know, I bet those golden tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.
Lot 403. I can personally guarentee, ladies and gentlemen that this is the
one and only, the absolutely last case of Wonka bars left in the United
Kingdom. Shall we start the bidding at 1000 pounds, do I hear 1000 pounds?
1500 Pounds? 2000, I have 2500 here. 4000 pounds. 4500 pounds! 5000 pou..
your majesty!
I'm sorry Mrs. Curtis, there doesn't seem to be anything in this paper to
give us a clue.
They kidnapped my husband 12 hours ago. When are we gonna hear from them,
what do they want?
Try to stay calm they want a ransom. All we can do is wait to hear their
demand.
I'll give them anything, anything they want! All I want is to have Harold
back!
Go ahead, we're listening. Uh hu. All right.
What did they ask for? Whatever it is, they can have it.
They want your case of Wonka bars. Mrs. Curtis did you hear me? It's your
husband's life or your case of Wonka bars.
How long will they give me to think it over?
That's it that's it it's all over, the Wonka contest is all over.
The fifth and final ticket has been found. And we've got a live report
coming in now directly from Paraguay, South America.
Ladies and gentlemen it is finished, the end has come. The fifth
and last golden ticket has just been found, right here in Paraguay. The
finder is lucky Roberto Minueta, the multimillionaire owner of gambling
casinos across South America. Here is the most recent picture of Roberto
Minueta...
Turn it off. Well, that's that. No more golden tickets.
A lot of rubbish, the whole thing.
Not to Charley it wasn't, a little boy has to have something in this world
to hope for, what's he got to hope for now?
Who's going to tell him?
Let's not wake him. He'll find out soon enough.
Yeah, let him sleep, let him have one last dream.
I've just decided to switch our Friday's schedule to Monday, which means the
test we take each Friday, on what we learned during the week will now take
place on Monday before we learned it. But since the day is Tuesday, it
doesn't matter in the slightest. Pencils ready. Today we are going to learn
about percentages. And for an example, let's take the recent unpleasantness.
Supposing there were a thousand Wonka bars in the world and during the
contest you each opened a certain number of them. That number is a percent.
Do you understand?
NO
You, Madiline Derkin, how many Wonka bars did you open?
About a hundred.
There are ten hundreds in a thousand therefore you opened 10%. You, Peter
Goff, how many did you open?
A hundred and fifty.
That's 10% half overgained, which makes 15%. Charley Bucket, how many did
you open?
2
That's easy. Two hundred is twice 100..
Not 200 just 2.
2? What do you mean you only opened 2?
I don't care very much for chocolate.
Well I can't figure out just 2. So let's pretend you opened 200. Now if you
opened 200 Wonka bars, apart from being dreadfully sick, you'd have used up
20% of 1000 which is 15% half overgained 10%....
Hi
I'd like a bar of chocolate, please.
Oh sure, what kind? A Slugworth sizzler, a Wonka scrumdidilyuptious..
Which ever's the biggest.
Try a Wonka scrumdidilyumptious. Now that all the tickets have been found I
don't have to hide them anymore. Uh um. Uh um. Hey hey hey take it easy.
You'll get a stomach ache if you swallow it like that.
Bye
Bye now.
I think I'll buy just one more. For my Grampa Joe.
Why not try a regular Wonka bar this time.
All right all right take it easy.
That gambler in Paraguay made up a phony ticket.
That means there's 1 golden ticket still floating around somewhere.
Can you imagine the nerve of that guy, trying to fool the whole world.
He really was a crook....
He's got it, you've got the last golden ticket. The kid's found the last
golden ticket.
Leave the boy alone.. run for it Charley, run straight home and don't stop
till you get there.
Huuuu
I congratulate you little boy, well done. You've found the fifth golden
ticket. May I introduce myself. Arthur Slugworth, president of Slugworth
chocolates incorporated. Now listen carefully because I'm going to make you
very rich indeed. Mr. Wonka is at this very moment working on a fantastic
invention. The everlasting gobstopper. If he succeeds he'll ruin me. So all
I want you to do is to get hold of just one everlasting gobstopper and bring
it to me so that I can find the secret formula. Your reward will be 10,000
of these. Think it over, will you. A new house for your family, and good food
and comfort for the rest of their lives. And don't forget the name:
Everlasting gobstopper.
Look everyone I got it the fifth golden ticket is mine!
You're pulling our legs, Charley. There aren't any more golden tickets.
No grampa, the last one's a fake it said so in the papers. I found some money
in the streets and bought a Wonka bar and the ticket was in it.
Charley!
Look at it grampa, see for yourself.
Read it Joe, for heaven's sake.
Greetings to you the lucky finder of this golden ticket from Mr. Willy Wonka.
Present this ticket at the factory gate at 10 o'clock in the morning on the
first day of October and do not be late. You may bring with you one member of
your own family but no one else. In your wildest dreams you could not imagine
the marvelous suprizes that await you, Charley you've done it!
I can't believe it.
Grampa, it says I can take somebody with me, I wish you could go.
Charley, ahhhhhh that's good Charley, now help me up. Whoa!
Are you OK?
I'm fine.
Joe. Watch it Joe.
Look at me, Look at me. Up and about. I haven't done this in 20 years.
Grampa!
I never thought my life could be,
Anything but catastrophe.
But suddenly I begin to see,
A bit of good luck for me.
Cause I've got a golden ticket.
I've golden twinkle in my eye.
I never had the chance to shine,
Never a happy song to sing.
But suddenly half the world is mine,
What an amazing thing.
Cause I've got a golden ticket,
It's ours Charley!
I've got a golden sun up in the sky.
Slippers, Charley!
I never thought I'd see the day,
When I could face the world and say,
Good morning, look at the sun!
I never thought that I would be,
Slap in the lap of luxury.
Cause I have said:
It couldn't be done.
But it could be done.
OOOH, the cane, Charley.
Ahhhhhhhhh, Ahhhhhhh, ha ha ha ha here I go!!!
Watch my speed. Ouch ooomph
I never dreamed that I would climb,
Over the moon and x the sea.
But nevertheless it's there that I'm surely about to be!
Cause I've got a golden ticket.
I've got a golden chance to make my way.
And with a golden ticket it's a golden day!
Good morning, look at the sun!
Cause I have said:
It couldn't be done.
But it could be done!!!!
I never dreamed that I would climb,
Over the moon and x the sea.
But nevertheless it's there I'm surely about to be!
Cause I've got a golden ticket.
I've got a golden ticket.
I've got a golden chance to make my way.
And with a golden ticket it's a golden day!
Wait, stop! It says the first of October, that's tomorrow!
Jumping crocodiles, Charley, we've got a lot to do. Comb your hair wash your
face, polish your shoes, brush your...
I'll take care of everything, dad.
We don't have too much time.
Grampa, on the way home today, I ran into Mr. Slugworth...
Ice cream, Ice cream......
Hey mom, we're on TV! Hi everybody in Marble Falls! Hi Billy, Hi Maggie, Hi
Fishface! How do I look?
You guys ready...
You're on...
This is it, folks, this is the big day. The historic day on which Willy Wonka
promised to open his gates and shower gifts on the five lucky winners. From
all over the globe, people gathered here waiting for the hour to strike,
waiting for a glimpse of that legendary magician, Mr. Willy Wonka.
Hi friends, Sam Borigard here, the next time you're in Miles City, Montana,
don't forget to visit..
Cut it out, dad, for heaven's sake this is my show. Hi Cornilia sweety I've
still got it and how's this for a stretch.
Come on over here, bring the cable over this way, hey let me get a shot...
I want to go in first before anybody else.
Anything you say sweetheart.
Save some room for later, Agustus..
Grampa, I don't believe it, we did it, we're going in.
We're going to see the greatest of them all, Mr. Willy Wonka.
Welcome, my friends, welcome to my chocolate factory. Would you come forward,
please?
(cheers)get back, get back you, come on Veruca sweetheart.
It's Slugworth, that's the man I told you about.
Welcome, it's nice to have you here. I'm so glad you could come. This is
going to be such an exciting day. I hope you enjoy it. I think you will. And
now will you please show me your golden tickets.
I'm Veruca Salt..
My dear Veruca what a pleasure and how pretty you look in that lovely mink
coat.
I've got three others at home.
And Mr. Salt, overjoyed to see you sir, will you just step over there for a
minute.
Agustus Gloob
Agustus, my dear boy, how good to see you. And in such fine shape. And this
must be the radient Mrs. Gloob. Just over there..
Violet Boregard.
Darling child, welcome to Wonka's.
What kind of gum you got here?
Charming, charming.
Sam Boregard here Mr. Wonka.
What a genuine pleasure.
If you ever need anything in the automotive line just call on Sam B, the
phone number's on the card. With Sam B, it's a guarantee.
I'm Mike Tv. Wham, you're dead!
Wonderful to meet you Mike. And Mrs. Tv, how do you do. What an adorible
little boy you have.
Thank you.
Just over there.
Charley Bucket.
Well, well, Charley Bucket. I read all about you in the papers. I'm so happy
for you. Who is this gentleman?
My grampa, Grampa Joe.
Delighted to meet you sir, overwhelmed, overjoyed, enraptured, entranced,
are we ready? Yes! Good! In we go.
Now, hats, coats, galoshes over here. But hurry, please. We have so much
time and so little to see. Wait a minute. Strike that, reverse it. Thank
you.
When do I get my chocolate?
First take off your coat, Violet.
Boy, what wierd looking coat hangers.
Ahhh!
Little suprises around every corner but nothing dangerous. Don't be alarmed.
And as soon as your outer investments are in hand, we'll begin. Now.. will
the children kindly step up here.
Accidents, what kind of accidents?
I didn't know we had to sign anything.
I can't see what it says on the bottom.
Violet, you first. Sign here.
Hold it, let me through here you kids, Violet baby don't you sign anything
there. What's this all about?
A standard form of contract..
Don't talk to me about contracts, I use them myself, they're stricktly for
suckers.
Yes, but you wouldn't begrudge me a little protection. I'd be raw.
I don't sign anything without my lawyer.
My Veruca don't sign anything either.
Then she don't go it. I'm sorry, rules of the house.
I want to go in and don't you dare stop me.
I'm only trying to help you sweetheart.
Give me that pen! You're always making things difficult.
Nicely handled, Veruca. She's a girl who knows where she's
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