I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi
I know a bear that you don't know, Yogi, Yogi Bear
Yogi, Yogi bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear
I know a bear you don’t know, Yogi, Yogi Bear
Yogi lives in Yellowstone, Yellow, Yellow
Yogi lives in Yellowstone, Yellow-, Yellowstone
Yogi's got a little friend, Booboo, Booboo
Yogi's got a little friend, Booboo, Booboo Bear
Yogi's got a girlfriend, Cindy, Cindy
Yogi's got a girlfriend, Cindy, Cindy Bear
Yogi's got an enemy, Ranger, Ranger
Yogi's got an enemy, Ranger, Ranger Smith
Yogi's uses feather light, feather, feather
Yogi's uses feather light, feather, feather light
Yogi's buggers Booboo Bear, Booboo, Booboo
Yogi's buggers Booboo Bear, Booboo, Booboo Bear
Ranger Smith fucks animals, animals, animals
Ranger Smith fucks animals, ani-, animals
Yogi's got a girlfriend, Suzi, Suzi
Yogi's got a girlfriend, Suzi, Suzi Bear
Suzi likes it on the fridge, polar, polar
Suzi likes it on the fridge, polar, polar bear
Suzi likes it long and green, cucum, cucum
Suzi likes it long and green, cucum, cucumber
Yogi's does it with his mum, com'mum, com'mum
Yogi's does it with his mum, com'mum, camembert
whips and chains-kinky
upside down-koala
Suzy doesn't take the pill-silly
Yogi uses condoms-smarty
Yogi comes in black and white-panda
Yogi does it with himself-master
Why Was He Born
Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fucking use to anyone,
He's no fucking use at all.
He ought to be publicly shat on.
He ought to be publicly shot (bang, bang).
He ought to be tied to a public urinal.
And left there to fester and rot.
So, DRINK motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
DRINK!
-or show us your thing,
for it must be a horrible thing.
If I were a marrying kind,
I thank the lord I'm not sir.
The kind of man that I would be
Would be a rugby prop sir
Prop sir?, Why’s that sir?
'cause I'd support a hooker,
You'd support a hooker,
We'd all support a hooker together.
We'd be alright in the middle of the night,
Supporting hookers together.
(The next verses change "prop" & "support a hooker")
2nd row - sniff butt
scrum half - put it in
halftime orange - get sucked
spectator on a rainy day - come in rubbers
spectator on a sunny day - come again
goal post - stand erect
grounds keeper #1 - trim bush
grounds keeper #2 - do lines
boot - come in boxes
cleat - get screwed
ball - pumped
whistle - blown
Sung to the tune When Jonny Comes Marching Home.
I met a whore in the park one day
ya ho, ya ho
I met a whore in the park one day
ya ho, ya ho
I met a whore in the park one day
She said “Hey rugger, you wanna lay?”
Refrain:
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
ya ho, ya ho, ya ho.
I put my hand upon her toe
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her toe
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her toe,
She said “Hey rugger, you're way to low.”
Refrain
I put my hand upon her knee
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her knee
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her knee,
She said “hey rugger, you're kiddin' me.”
Refrain
I put my hand upon her thigh
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her thigh
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her thigh,
She said “Hey rugger, you're way to shy.”
Refrain
I put my hand upon her tit
ya ho ya
I put my hand upon her tit
ya ho ya
I put my hand upon her tit
She said, "Hey rugger, you're getting it."
Refrain
I put my hand upon her twat
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her twat
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her twat,
She said “Hey rugger you hit the spot!”
Refrain
I put my dick into her mouth
yo ho, yo ho,
I put my dick into her mouth
yo ho, yo ho,
I put my dick into her mouth,
She said mmm, mhmh, mhmhm...
Refrain
I put her in a wooden box
ya ho, ya ho
I put her in a wooden box
ya ho, ya ho
I put her in a wooden box,
From fuckin' too many rugger's cocks
Refrain
I dig her up every now and then
ya ho, ya ho
I dig her up every now and then
ya ho, ya ho
I dig her up every now and then,
she fucked us before she'll fuck us again
Refrain
Now Michigan ruggers, we went to hell
ya ho, ya ho
Now Michigan ruggers, we went to hell
ya ho, ya ho
Now Michigan ruggers went to hell,
We fucked the devil his wives as well
ya ho, ya ho, ya ho.
Who can take a chicken,
Spread apart it’s legs.
Fuck ‘em in the ass till it shits scrambled eggs.
The S&M Man, The S&M Man,
The S&M Man cause he mixes pain with love,
And makes the hurt feel good, the hurt feel good.
(This goes on for awile, The first stanza being changed every time.)
Who can take a toothpick,
Jam it in her ears.
Ride her like a Harley while you fuck her from the rear.
Who can take a preacher,
Bend him over a pew.
Fuck him in the ass till he admits that he’s a Jew.
Who can take a pregnant chick,
Lay her on the bed.
Fuck her so hard that the fetus gives you head.
Who can take two pregnant chicks,
Lay ‘em side by side.
Punch ‘em in the stomachs, watch the fetuses collide.
Who can take a cheese grater,
Strap it to his arm.
Ram it up her cunt and make pussy parmesan.
Who can take Yoda,
That Jedi knight of course.
Throw him ‘cross the room and make him jerk you with the force.
Who can take you parents,
To a porno flick.
Finger fuck your mom while your suck your fathers dick.
Who can take two jumper cables,
Strap ‘em to her tits.
Jump-start the Harley and electrocute the bitch.
Who can take a nun,
Tie her to a post.
Fuck her so hard that she sees the Holy Ghost.
Who can go to an abortion clinic,
Sneak around the back.
Rummage in the dumpster and pull out a tasty snack.
Who can take three children,
Six, seven, and eight.
Throw ‘em in a corner and make ‘em masturbate.
Soloist volunteer for each verse during the previous by raising their hand, and are chosen by a chairman (or the concensus) pointing at
them. Everyone sings words in capital letters.
I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO AT AN OLD DEPARTMENT STORE,
I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE
A LADY CAME IN for some paper
SOME PAPER FROM THE STORE?
Paper she wanted, a ream she got
I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE!
I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO AT AN OLD DEPARTMENT STORE,
I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE
A LADY CAME IN for some jewelry
SOME JEWELRY FROM THE STORE?
Jewelry she wanted, a pearl necklace she got
I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE!
And similarly:
Carpet she wanted, shag she got
Nail she wanted, screw she got
Fishing rod she wanted, my pole she got
Meat she wanted, sausage she got
Beef she wanted, pork she got
Helicopter she wanted, my chopper she got
Camel she wanted, hump she got
Translator she wanted, cunning linguist she got
KitKat she wanted, four fingers she got
Fuck she wanted, fuck she got
Ring Of Fire- Johnny Cash
Love Is A Burning Thing
And It Makes A Fiery Ring
Bound By Wild Desire
I Fell Into A Ring Of Fire
CHORUS:
I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher
And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire
I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher
And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire
The Taste Of Love Is Sweet
When Hearts Like Ours Meet
I Fell For You Like A Child
Oh, But The Fire Went Wild
CHORUS
I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher
And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire
I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher
And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire
And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire
This is sung with a leader in call and response.
Monday's a working day!
Monday's a working day!
Is everybody happy?
You bet your ass we are!!
Do-do do-do do-do do-do
Do-do do-do do-do!! (Spin around here with your beer on your head... no I'm serious)
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Is everybody happy?
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Wednesday's a tonguing day!
Is everybody happy?
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Wednesday's a tonguing day!
Thursday's a fucking day!
Is everybody happy?
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Wednesday's a tonguing day!
Thursday's a fucking day!
Friday's a drinking day! (Don't say anything... drink your beer for chris-sake)
Is everybody happy?
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Wednesday's a tonguing day!
Thursday's a fucking day!
Friday's a drinking day! (Don't say anything... drink your beer for chris-sake)
Saturday's a rugby day!!
Is everybody happy?
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Wednesday's a tonguing day!
Thursday's a fucking day!
Friday's a drinking day! (Don't say anything... drink your beer for chris-sake)
Saturday's a rugby day!!
Sunday is a day of rest (Look angelic and say...)
Amen.
Mary Ann Barnes is the queen of all the acrobats;
she can do tricks that will give a man the shits.
She can shoot green peas from her fundamental orifice,
do a double somersault and catch 'em on her tits.
She's a big fat bitch; she’s twice the size of me,
She’s got hair on her box like the branches on a tree.
She can fish, fight, fart, fuck,
Roll a joint, drive a truck.
She's the kind of girl I’m gonna marry!
She’s a little tiny wench; she’s half the size of me,
The hair on her box hangs down below her knees.
She can fish, fight, fart, fuck,
Roll a joint, drive a truck.
She's the kind of girl I’m gonna marry!
('Drive a truck' is replaced by 'form a ruck' in some renditions.)
1. I’ve been a wild rover for many a year.
And I spent all my money on whiskey and beer,
And now I'm returning with gold in great store
And I never will play the wild rover no more.
Chorus:
And it's no, nay, never,
No nay never no more,
Will I play the wild rover
No never no more.
2. I went to an ale-house I used to frequent
And I told the landlady my money was spent.
I asked her for credit, she answered me "nay
Such a custom as yours I could have any day."
Chorus:
3. I took from my pocket ten sovereigns bright
And the landlady's eyes opened wide with delight.
She said "I have whiskey and wines of the best
And the words that I spoke sure were only in jest."
Chorus:
4. I'll go home to my parents, confess what I've done
And I'll ask them to pardon their prodigal son.
And if they caress me as ofttimes before
Sure I never will play the wild rover no more.
Chorus:
Alouette
(Sung to the tune of "Alouette")
CHORUS: Alouette, gentille Alouette.
Alouette, Shove it up her ass!
(Start with chorus first and insert it between each verse.)
Leader: Does she have the scraggly hair?
Group: Yes, she has the scraggly hair.
Leader: Scraggly hair.
Group: Scraggly hair.
Leader: Alouette.
Group: Alouette.
Leader: OH!
Leader: Does she have the furrowed brow?
Group: Yes, she has the furrowed brow.
Leader: Furrowed brow.
Group: Furrowed brow.
Leader: Scraggly hair.
group: Scraggly hair.
Leader: Alouette.
Group: Alouette.
Leader: OH!
(Continue in this fashion, adding the current descriptive phrase and then repeating all previous descriptive phrases.)
Two glass eyes?
Broken nose?
Two capped teeth?
Double chin?
Swinging tits?
Pot belly?
Clammy thighs?
Furry thing?
You can tell by the flies that are buzzin’ ‘round her thighs,
When the end of the month comes around.
For we-e-e in the Tampon Factory, shout out your orders loud and clear. LOUD AND CLEAR!
Large, medium, small, regular; we supply them all, when the end of the month comes around.
(Repeat, only change the first verse every time)
You can tell by the stench that is comin’ from her trench,
You can tell by the red, that you should’ve gone for head,
You can tell by the blister that you should’ve used her sister,
You can tell from the frown that you’re gona go for brown,
You can tell by the string that you’re gona go for ring,
You can tell by the pad that she’s gona leave you mad,
You can tell by the string that you’ll earn your red wings,
You can tell when it comes that you’re in for no fun,
You can tell by the puss that she’s gona throw a fuss,
You can tell by the bitchin’ that you’re gona stick to kissin,
When the Mydol comes out, you know all she’ll do is pout,
You know when she’s late, you should’ve masterbate,
We are warriors,
And we are strong.
Carry big rifles,
With itty bitty bullets.
We came upon a mountain,
Couldn’t go over it,
Couldn’t go under it,
Couldn’t go around it,
So we went through it!
Oh la lay le
Tiki, tiki, tumba.
Moosa, mossa, moosa.
Aluette, aluette, aluette.
(In subsequent times the middle stanza is changed.)
We came upon a river,
We came upon <opposing team>,
We came upon a sorority slut,
fat woman, faggot, tree, ocean, etc.
The over, under, around, through it; is changed to fit each thing that you come across.
In Dublin's fair city,
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set me eyes on sweet Molly Malone
As she wheel'd her wheelbarrow
Thro' streets broad and narrow,
Crying "Cockles and mussels alive, alive O!"
Chorus
Alive, alive O!
Alive, alive O!
Crying Cockles and Mussels
Alive, alive O!
She was a fishmonger,
but sure 'twas no wonder,
for so were her father and mother before.
And they each wheel'd their barrow
Thro' streets broad and narrow,
Crying "Cockles and mussels alive, alive O!"
Chorus
She died of a fever
And no one could save her,
And that was the end of Sweet Molly Malone:
But her ghost wheels her barrow
Thro' streets broad and narrow,
Crying "Cockles and mussels alive, alive O!"
Chorus
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home;
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home.
I looked over Jordan, and
What did I see,
Comin' for to carry me home?
A band of angels comin' after me,
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
If you get there before I do
Comin' for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends I'm comin' too
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home;
Sometimes I'm up,
Sometimes I'm down,
Comin' for to carry me home;
Yet still my soul feels heavn'ly bound,
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come you back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'tis I'll be there in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.
And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.
And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
I don't want to join the army, I don't want to go to war
I'd rather hang around Piccadilly Underground
Living off the earnings of a high-class lady
I don't want a bayonet up my arse hole
I don't want my bullocks shot away
No, I'd rather stay in Ann Arbor
In merry, merry Ann Arbor,
And fornicate my fucking life away.
Monday I touched her on the ankle
Tuesday I touched her on the knee
On Wednesday, success, I lifted up her dress
On Thursday I saw it, Cor Blimey!
Friday I laid my hand upon it
Saturday she gave my balls a squeeze
On Sunday after supper, I rammed me fucker up 'er
And now I'm paying thirty bob a week .... Cor Blimey!
Call on the army and the navy, call on the rank and file
Call on the territorial army, they face danger with a smile
You can call upon the boys of the old brigade
To set old England free
You can call upon my brother, my sister and my mother,
but for fucks sake don't call me.
Here are the words and a translation of the haka performed by the New Zealand All Blacks before matches,
Ka mate Ka mate
It is death It is death
Ka ora Ka ora
It is life It is life
Ka mate Ka mate
It is death It is death
Ka ora Ka ora
It is life It is life
Tenei Te Tangata Puhuruhuru
This is the hairy man
Nana i tiki mai whakawhiti te ra
Who caused the sun to shine again for me
Upane Upane
Up the ladder Up the ladder
Upane Kaupane
Up to the top
Whiti te ra
The sun shines!
Now for a cheer they are here,
triumphant!
Here they come with banners flying,
In stalwart step they're nighing,
With shouts of vict'ry crying,
We hurrah, hurrah, we greet you now,
Hail!
Far we their praises sing
For the glory and fame they've bro't us
Loud let the bells them ring
For here they come with banners flying
Far we their praises tell
For the glory and fame they've bro't us
Loud let the bells them ring
For here they come with banners flying
Here they come, Hurrah!
Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes
Hail! Hail! to Michigan
the leaders and best
Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes
Hail! Hail! to Michigan,
the champions of the West!
We cheer them again
We cheer and cheer again
For Michigan, we cheer for Michigan
We cheer with might and main
We cheer, cheer, cheer
With might and main we cheer!
Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes
Hail! Hail! to Michigan,
The champions of the West!
O Flower of Scotland
When will we see
Your like again,
That fought and died for
Your wee bit Hill and Glen
And stood against him
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward
Tae think again.
The Hills are bare now
And Autumn leaves lie thick and still
O'er land that is lost now
Which those so dearly held
That stood against him
Proud Edward's Army
And sent him homeward
Tae think again.
Those days are past now
And in the past they must remain
But we can still rise now
And be the nation again
That stood against him
Proud Edward's Army
And sent him homeward,
Tae think again.
0 Flower of Scotland
When will we see
Your like again,
That fought and died for
Your wee bit Hill and Glen
And stood against him
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward
Tae think again.
Guide me O thou great Redeemer,
Pilgrim through this barren land;
I am weak, but thou are mighty,
Hold me with thy powerful hand;
Bread of Heaven,
Feed me till I want no more.
Open now the crystal fountain,
Whence the healing stream doth flow;
Let the fire and cloudy pillar
Lead me all my journey through:
Strong Deliverer,
Be thou still my strength and shield.
When I tread the verge of Jordan,
Bid my anxious fear subside;
Death of death, and hell's destruction
Land me safe on Cannon's side:
Songs of praises
I will ever give to thee.
