S3

Write sentences that are clear. 

 

Incorrect Examples

Correct Examples

a) A descriptive word or phrase must describe something in the same sentence. 

Suddenly tripping, the books fell to the floor. 

(Who tripped? The books?)

Suddenly tripping, Sara dropped the books onto the floor. 

b) Avoid confusion caused by word order. 

Running quickly, a rock tripped her. 

(The rock ran quickly?)

 

He hired a man to chop up meat and a delivery boy. 

(That poor delivery boy!)

Running quickly, she tripped on a rock. 

 

He hired a delivery boy and a man to chop up meat. 

c) Make comparisons clear. 

She likes ice cream more than me. 

(Of course, she doesn’t like me much.)

She likes ice cream more than I do. 

OR

She likes ice cream more than she likes me.

d) Pronouns must be clear. 

When Caesar and the barbarian chieftain met in battle, he was quickly defeated. 

When Caesar and the barbarian chieftain met in battle, Caesar was quickly defeated. 

e) Proofread carefully to see if you left any words out. 

He hired English teacher. 

He hired an English teacher. 

 

 

 

Write your first draft with your heart.  Re-write with your head. 

From the movie Finding Forrester