S1

Write each sentence with a structure that is easy to understand.

 

Incorrect Examples

Correct Examples

a) Don’t mix up the introduction with the main part of the sentence – keep them separate. 

Whenever college parties have alcohol for young people are in danger while driving home. 

Whenever college parties have alcohol for young people, they are in danger while driving home

b) Don’t link an introductory phrase with the second half of a compound sentence.  

Although the Nazis developed powerful new aircraft late in the war, and they lacked the oil fields to fuel them. 

Although the Nazis developed powerful new aircraft late in the war, they lacked the oil fields to fuel them. 

c) A descriptive word or phrase must describe something in the same sentence. 

Suddenly tripping, the books fell to the floor. 

(Who tripped? The books?)

Suddenly tripping, Sara dropped the books onto the floor. 

d) Avoid confusion caused by word order. 

Running quickly, a rock tripped her. 

(The rock ran quickly?)

Running quickly, she tripped on a rock. 

He hired a man to chop up meat and a delivery boy. 

(That poor delivery boy!)

He hired a delivery boy and a man to chop up meat. 

e) Make comparisons clear. 

She likes ice cream more than me. 

(Of course, she doesn’t like me much.)

She likes ice cream more than I do. 

OR

She likes ice cream more than she likes me.

f) Proofread carefully to see if you left any words out. 

He hired English teacher. 

He hired an English teacher. 

 

 

 

 

Write your first draft with your heart.  Re-write with your head. 

From the movie Finding Forrester