S1

Sentences should make sense and be clear.

 

 

Incorrect Examples

Correct Examples

 

a) The core of the sentence should logically make sense.

Death is a feeling that can plunge the family into depression.

A death can plunge the family into depression.

 

The Lakersí first two games were losses, but since then have bounced back.

The Lakers lost their first two games, but since then have bounced back.

 

The sink to turn it on pull up on the handle.

To turn on the sink, a person must pull up on the handle.

 

b) Avoid confusion caused by word order.

He hired a man to chop up meat and a delivery boy.

(That poor delivery boy!)

He hired a delivery boy and a man to chop up meat.

 

c) Make comparisons clear.

She likes ice cream more than me.

(Of course, she doesnít like me much.)

She likes ice cream more than I do.

OR

She likes ice cream more than she likes me.

 

d) A descriptive word or phrase must describe something in the same sentence.

Suddenly tripping, the books fell to the floor.

(Who tripped? The books?)

Suddenly tripping, Sara dropped the books onto the floor.

 

Running quickly, a rock tripped her.

(The rock ran quickly?)

Running quickly, she tripped on a rock.

 

e) Donít mix up the introduction with the main part of the sentence Ė keep them separate. 

Whenever college parties have alcohol for young people are in danger while driving home. 

Whenever college parties have alcohol for young people, they are in danger while driving home

 

f) Donít link an introductory phrase with the second half of a compound sentence.  

Although the Nazis developed powerful new aircraft late in the war, and they lacked the oil fields to fuel them. 

Although the Nazis developed powerful new aircraft late in the war, they lacked the oil fields to fuel them. 

 

g) Proofread carefully to see if you left any words out.

He hired English teacher.

He hired an English teacher.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Write your first draft with your heart.  Re-write with your head. 

From the movie Finding Forrester