Who else but P.T. Barnum could pick the pocket of hard workingclass people in the post-Civil War years..and get away with it while the victim enjoyed getting fleeced and fucked? But where they really getting screwed? After all it was an age without the internet...without cable...without i-Pads...or even Maxi-pads. I know, it's hard to believe people can thrive in such an environment without the benefits of modern day over stimulation,stress and high blood pressure...they didn't know what they were missing! The populace of the day was not only happy to have financial fornication with the Hipster of Hoax himself, but spread their legs wider than the Mississippi and shelled out greenbacks faster than a Gatling gun fires bullets to see "wonders of the world" from tiny Tom Thumb to the Feejee Mermaid and finally...the sheer excitement of seeing with their own eyes, hearts pounding and blood racing..yes, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Kong of Hoaxology...the Egress!!! The wily "egress" was it some endangered man eating species from the wilds of the Amazon jungle...or a monstrosity of barbaric proportions held over from the age of the Ice Age mastadons with tusks the size of Sumatra? None of the above..it was hoax, pure and simple. Barnum realized his exhibits were so exhilarting that the public was spending to much time looking at them so he posted signs saying "This Way To The Egress" which of course is another name for "Exit" so the public couldn't wait to see this wonderment and ended up outside the door and on the streets..and yes, you guessed it ..they had to pay again to re-enter. The funny thing about human nature..most seemed to enjoy the joke and gladly paid the price of admission to enter again!
Barnum was a master manipulator, a puppeteer who pulled the publics strings as he understood human nature and what the public wanted and more importantly what they would put up with. His cash register was ready to rock and roll as nickles and dimes rained down on his empire of weird in torrents of near biblical proportions. Some called him a scam artists while others regarded him as a showman, which he certainly did. I call him a Grand Master of Illusion and the Hipster of Hoaxology. He wowed the crowds from immigrant heavy New York City which not only brought fame and fortune to him, but it also fostered a foothold in the royal kingdoms of Europe as he launched is own magical mystery tour crossing the Atlantic Ocean hitting the ground running with a cast of miscast characters that at first freaked out the French but were victorious in Queen Victoria courts. Even the Russian czar and czarina took a break from imprisoning adn torturing the peasants to enjoy the parade of American oddities Barnum put on display for standing room only crowds packing in the pre-Soviet commie crowned heads. No idea if Marx and Engles, the Chang and Eng of Marxist ideology ever took in a Barnum Show or not but if they had, the revolution would have started after the first performance!
Any later in life, say in 1917 the Bolsheviks wouldn't have put up with Barnum's non-Bolshevik bullshit and Barnum wold have simply put Tom Thumb on display in a new persono claiming that Tom was in fact the czar's daugter Anastasia after undergoing a sex change and was now vertically challenged...and the American public would have bought it hook, line and sucker! He proably also would have stolen Lenin's body in the Kremlin and added that to his traveling collection, The Communist Mermaid of the Baltic Ocean!
Barnum was born in 1810 and never claimed to be anything but a showman...an expert marketing marksman who knew how to get ink and how to promote himself above all else. It was 50% Barnum mystique the brought the crowds in a frenzy in droves to see his "curiosities" and "oddities" His foray into the hoaxology began in 1835 where he traveled and exhibited a blind African American woman claiming she had been George Washingtons nurse and was supposedly over 160 years old...however, she died in 1836 at the age of 80!
In 1841 he purchased Scudder's American Museum on Broadway in NYC. He made improvements and renamed it, ever the showman, Barnums American Museum. He added a lighthouse lamp that lit up the New York skies at night flags adorned the roof like so many pigeons flocking so the daytime crowds could not escape the theatrics either. Murals were added to the front of the building with images of wild beasts from Africa and the roof was converted to a walk through garden the public could visit and enjoy the panorama of the city that never sleeps. He also held hot air balloon rides everyday which garnered a gold mine of attention. His attractions now included albino's, midgets, giants, jugglers, and exotic women (always a crowd pleaser!)
He also had a dazzling display of scientific instruments to amaze and delight everyone, along with a flea circus, a hat worn by US Grant, a rifle range, and contests galore. The museum was open fifteen hours a day..almost like a 7/11 except no Slurpees! But he did have Grizzly Adams and his trained bears (For real..a guy named Grizzly Adams..before the TV Show!) He had hypnotists, mind readers, ventriloquists and blackface minstrels. Admission was only .25 cents and had as many as 15,000 paying customers a day...do the math!!! In all between the years of 1841 and 1865 some 38,000,00o people paid to see the wonders of the Barnum world!!!
He began blazing a trail through the Forest of Faux in 1842 by introducing a creature with the head of a monkey and the tail of a fish...the infamous Feejee Mermaid!! This once tough act to follow turned out to be merely the opening act for what was to come...as the Rock Star of Sideshows everywhere was about to be unleashed on the world stage as the Elvis of Odd entered the Barnum auditorium...General Tom Thumb!! Billed as the smallest person on the planet, Thumbs real name was Charles Stratton who was four at the time but Barnum claimed he was 11! Tom was coached and could in time mimic everyone from Hercules to Napoleon and by five was drinking wine and smoking cigars while the duped public soaked it all up in one swallow. As Tom aged he made a small fortune in his role and was the toast of the crowned heads of Europe. He eventually got married and his wedding was bigger at the time than the marriage of any royal at Buckingham Palace is today...his wedding carriage is a miniature and by the way is on display at the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn Michigan.
Other odd attractions were Chang and Eng the Siamese Twins and Josephin Boisdechene who had a beard which she began sprouting when she was only eight years old...puberty came early and in the wrong place it seems. I can't imagine the tangle that developed south of her beltline border. She probably needed a lawn mower more than a Tampon.
By 1871 Barnum got into the circus business with partners in Wisconsin which eventually became know as Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Baily Circus. The benefit to Barnum of the circus was it's mobility. He was the first to move the whole package by train as opposed to slower wagons and caravans ..that way he could hit more markets, and larger markets faster and also the pocketbooks in those towns! He could also take his star curiosity attractions on the road now out of the confines of New York and travel the country to promote his shows which now called by him of course.."The Greatest Show On Earth!" He had Jumbo the Elephant and trick riders and lion tamers and trapeze artists and also came up with the concept of the "three ring circus" ...and filled each ring simultaneously with frentic acts of balancing bears, ladies riding horses while standing on them and acrobats bouncing all over the place ...each ring a hub of activity that the audience couldn't possibly absorb in one sitting...so...the came for the next show to see what the missed the first time..and the second time!
The circus introduced the "sideshow" where the "freaks" were on display and games of chance and food were abundant...all at a cost as were the freak shows and the circus itself. The "sideshows" were all outside of the bigtop and had an admission...the sideshows had an admission...and of course you had to pay for food and the games! To introduce the circus he was not only the Master of Ceremonies but entered the tent at the helm of custom made Roman chariot!
By the time Barnum died in 1891...Tom Thumb was the richest little person in America and had more money then all the Munchkins in Munchkin land combined...Chang and Eng were married and luckily weren't joined at the groin which may have impeded sexual activity big time, but they weren't and they did have offspring..their two sons served in the Civil War and are buried in Arlington Cemetery.
Barnum was the Hipster of Hoax, no doubt about that..but the sideshow grew from there and became an established form of entertainment at the phenomenon of the amusement parks that were growing in popularity faster than opium poppies in Afghanistan. Today the shows are all but gone..except for one place in New York City...Coney Island..where the sideshow performs still eat fire and swallow swords and women grow beards and exotic women shake their moneymaker. In fact they even have a sideshow college where the art of sideshow performing is not only preserved, but is one of the biggest shows in this iconic New York Park still running with a new breed of performer who take their craft seriously and curiously we still pay the price to be wowed by contortionists and people who pound nails up there nose...as for the Tatoo ladies...forgetaboutit...I can see more tatto's on more ladies on any college campus in Chicago!! So girls..tats are nice..but it's been done..no tits on the other hand..to me..that is the Greatest Show on Earth!