Russ Meyer: Naked Gals of the Wild West
By Mike Marino

The soft porn gold rush was underway when golden nuggets in the form of massive breasts were discovered by Russ Meyer and film lovers of giant erotic flying saucer nipples and massive masses of boobs the size of the planet Jupiter. Filmaker and voyeur, Russ Meyer was the "King of the Nudies" or the "Ghandi of G-Spots," which ever image suits your fantasies. I have mine, you have yours, show me yours and I'll show you mine. Russ was born in San Leandro, California in the Bay Area in 1922, so that may explain a lot of things about him and his films. Ever been to San Leandro?

He created a garden of film eden of fleshy delights with big breasted women, including one in particular, or in her case, "two" in particular, Uschi Dagard! Swiss vixen with the vagina from Venus. More on her later, much more..but first..Russ Meyer. A former WWII combat photographer who's work was seen in theater newsreels of the day, later found his naughty niche in celluloid erotica having failing to crack mainstream Hollywood.

His independent films had an strong undertow of incest and a tidal wave of tsunami proportions of lesbianism that most found erotic, sensous and downright campy with a humorous twist. If he remade the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy would be heading to the Emerald City of Lesbo hoping the wonderful Wiz that was would grant her beast implants that would knock a Tin Man or in this case, Tin Woman on his/her tin can so to speak, or ignite the Scarecrow's libido to an incindiary temperature that he would vaporize himself along with legions of lecherous Munchins stacked up like cordwood along the Yellow Sick Road!

He was the Dr. Frankenstein of such classic film fare as "Vixen" and "Super Vixen" along with "Wild Gals of the Naked West" with a character named Golden Nuggets (I'll give you one guess!) one of the first cowgirl sexterns or sex westerns to the uninitiated where a six shooter was no more than the bulge in a cowboys pants. Most Hollywood films of the day cost around $1 Million bucks to produce however, Russ made films, like "The Immoral Mr. Teas" for $24,000 and it grosed $1 million on the sexploitation circuit upon release.Do the math...Sex not Spielberg..of course I don't think anyone thinks of Spielberg as sexy anyway. Besides, I never wanted to fuck a Gremlin, and never once in conversation has anyone said "Goddamn, did you see those dinosaurs get it on in Jurassic Jism" or " Man, what about the sex scenes in Schindlers List, those Nazi babes in Das Boots are pretty damn Nordically pornographic, eh? The tits on them were like zeppelins!"

Russ was a mere 14 years old when he got his hands on a 8mm film camera and made amateur films to razzle dazzle the Junior Meyer Minions of the promiscuous proleteriat. After his combat camera duties and before making cult classic films of the G-String Genre, he was a still photographer for glamour shots including having entre' to Hugh Hefners Bubby Hutch Harem to film centerfolds for the then fledgling skin mag. Over the course of time he shot a few centerfolds including a centerfold and nude layout of his wife Eve in 1955.

"Mr. Teas" the film launched his career as a hardon in porn orbit was shot in 1959 and was the first of some 20 flesh and fetish films that featured bad scripts, bad acting, bizarre humor and all-American Sleaze ala humongous breasts as the main attraction and supporting casts. Who needs a storyline when you have Double D's! They speak for themselves. Russ, like Ed Wood, wrote, directed, edited, photographed and distributed his own films, and each film financed the next one.

Each film increased in violence and the number of domineering psychosexual women and submissive males. Wild Gals of the Naked West was cartoonish to say the least, that includes an odd tribute to the Marx Bros. with one of the characters a full tilt boogie Harpo Marx impersonator! The wild west never saw this much camp comedy or ride 'em cowgirl tits in any John Ford flick. The Wild Gals are a group of topless women who capture, or rather campture men and haul their buckskin asses onto the balcony of the whorehouse where the soild doves do the deed to their hapless, yet happy victims. It may be "dirty" but it has it's clean moments too as the women spend a lot of time bathing each other and lathering each others breasts. Squeaky clean T & A.

"Vixen" released in 1968 was the tale of an oversexed vixen who sexually manipulates everyone she meets, including her brother in the Canadian wilderness which is appropriate as Canada is known for some of the finest beaver around! She ends up seducing her brother, another couple and a Mountie! Now theres a term that fits..Mount Up!

The vaginal follow up to "Vixen" was "Super Vixen" ok..this could have been Speilberg and his penchant for Hebrews and Holocausts such as Schindlers List and Munich. In "Super Vixens" a gas station attendent who works at the Martin Bormann's Nazi Super Service in the desert is lusted after by all manner of mammary top heavy females...all with names that begin with the word "Super" his demanding wife, Super Angel constantly harrasses him at home and hearth where he balls up eventually and as she is beating him he retaliates..as best as a wimp can under the circumstance..he heads to the bar afterwards and meets Super Haji while his wife seduces other men in town. One male who can't perform the standing room only performance Super Angel demands results on a bar fisted fight that he eventually wins and as she is tossed into the bathtub he tosses a portable electric radio, plugged into the wall of course where her ample breasts sizzle and steam from the electric shock.

As he escapes there are erotic escapades with a bi-sexual couple in a coupe de ville and a deaf farmgirl who takes him for a ride in her dune bugg to have sex in the desert for dessert! He escapes after she rapes him (strap on dildos are prominent props in Meyer films) Eventually he escapes and happily meets Super Vixen at her Roadside Diner where he runs into nude ghosts who prance on bedsprings atop a mesa!

Ah but then there is Cherry, Harry, and Raquel with the highly sexy Uschi Digard who was a the true life sex kitten sex vixen of many Meyers forays into sexual fantasy. Here she was the naked muse of Geronimo wearing only an Indian headdress so there are ample shots of her shaking her tailfeathers unclad with enough ass cleavage to compete with her ample breast canyon between lucious mounds Himalayan proportions. Lesbianism abounds in this delightful romp with twosomes and bi-sexual threesomes. Sorry no naked midgets getting it on like mud wrestlers in heat..maybe I'll make that film! I could specialize in Miniscule Midget Tits..sort of the anti-Christ anti-Breast to Meyers super boobs. Midget Muffins on parade!! Meanwhile....the film also has marijuana, debauchery of all levels and a nurse dances naked with Uschi while she digs on Digard! At one point a guy falls dead in the hospital on top of the two girls having sex and the sex just keeps on going...like the energizer bunny with a necropheliac hangover.

Now...Uschi, a delicious Swedish dish who claimed she had sex with books...not sex actually but loved writers and the written word. She started to develop breasts at the age of 11 and by 15 she was a 40 DD. Fucking A! She could speak German, Italian, Spanish, Scandinavian, French and English and could fu