Forever More
Part 3 - . . . And The Greatest Is Love
Chapter Thirty Three
Rebecca called Tom shortly before noon on Saturday. Speaking to him she told of all her concerns and how she was so afraid that Scott was doing more damage to himself by not going to therapy. No matter what the cost she had to get him there. She knew all too well that he would never be able to get better if he didn’t go and gave up, and that was exactly what he was doing right then.
Sunday morning came and Scott also flatly refused to attend Mass with his family. This also upset Rebecca since she saw that as one time that her family could come together and they needed all the grace from God that they could get right now. Maybe if he would just go something would strike him and he would start to come around. He would have no part of it.
Tom called Scott after noon and said that he was planning to come down for the evening. That was fine with Scott. The two of them spent the evening in the studio mostly doing what they had done on many such occasions before. Maybe this is what Scott needed, Rebecca thought, some time spent with an old friend who would not judge him.
Finally as the evening wore on Tom brought up the subject of the rehabilitation.
"So how’s that therapy on your hand coming? I see that you can move it more than the last time I saw you."
Scott did not want to discuss this. "I’m not going anymore," he answered after getting up and moving across the room.
Tom tried to understand "What do you mean you’re not going anymore?"
"Don’t have to. Besides it isn’t really doing any good. There isn’t much they can do for me anymore." Scott sounded so deliberate.
Tom pursed his lips and studied his friend’s face before he spoke. "That’s not true."
Scott looked up, surprised that Tom had any knowledge of his lie.
"I talked to Becky. She says that you have refused to go."
Scott felt anger creep up the back of his neck.
Tom continued, "I also know that you have an appointment in the morning."
"What do you mean you talked to Becky?" he demanded. Scott knew that as soon as Tom had gotten there that evening they had come out to the studio.
"She called me. She’s worried about you, Scott."
"Well, ain’t that just fuckin’ nice!" His voice was getting louder as he spoke. "She’s worried about me so she calls you! What the hell good does she think that’s gonna do?" Scott flung a magazine that was within his reach across the room and continued to cuss under his breath as the idea of Becky calling Tom for help with him incensed him even more.
Tom waited a minute and then spoke normally and straight forward.
"Because I’m gonna take you to tomorrow."
"Like hell you are!"
"Watch me."
Had it been anyone else Scott might have not backed off. What he probably would have done was get in his car and left. He had thought about it. But this was Tom he was dealing with and for all his anger Tom was his friend and he knew that he was only looking out for his best interests. That thought alone kept him from going in the house right then and lashing out at Rebecca.
She had no right to interfere and bring Tom into the picture., but she had and if Tom insisted on taking him the next morning then he would go. Not for Becky, not for himself, but for Tom. Besides if they want to waste their time on me, fine. They are the ones who aren’t living in reality. I know that I will never get better and as soon as they realize that fact maybe I can get on with my life. What life?
Tom stayed out in the studio in the apartment that night. Scott was forced to go inside where he was torn between seeking out Becky and telling her exactly what he thought of her plan, if in fact that was what it was, to get Tom there to help her, or avoiding her altogether. He opted for the later thinking that the very sight of her would make his anger so that he was not sure what he would do.
The next morning Tom drove Scott to Saginaw. While Scott was in rehabilitation Tom sought out his doctor. While apprehensive to talk to Tom about Scott he got Rebecca on the phone who told him to please talk to Tom in her absence. Maybe he would be able to understand or do something that would help.
The doctor had not been aware that Scott had not been going to his therapy sessions and as Tom explained it was becoming quite clear to the doctor that Scott was suffering from a deep depression brought on by not only the anxiety after the accident, his own serious injury, but also the possibility that he might never be able to perform like he used to. Scott had to get into counseling right away. His office would set it all up.
On the way home Tom told Scott about meeting with his doctor. That only shot more anger pulsing through his veins. Then when Tom told him about the counseling that everyone had decided was for his own good he blew up.
Tom was driving and if it wasn’t for the fact that he could not get him to stop the car Scott would have been gone. Tom just let him yell and cuss and slam his fist into the dash board till he was so hoarse that he could hardly yell anymore. It was so hard for Tom to sit and listen to Scott explode without retaliating, but he realized then that he really did need counseling. The things that he were saying were not even making sense. He was so far gone that he was rationalizing everything in his life.
His life was over, his career was over. He hated Rebecca at that point and didn’t understand why she was doing whatever it was she was doing to him. He knew that his daughter blamed him for the accident, although Tom knew this not to be true. Scott felt certain that the band had long since wrote him off. Tom knew this wasn’t true either.
But to hear Scott go on and on and spit hateful words against Becky out of his mouth and somehow blame her for everything that was happening to him made him realize that Scott needed help all the more. Tom was even fearing that Scott had a more serious problem. For the first time he wondered what Scott had in mind when he said his life was over. What was he really thinking?
By the time Tom pulled the car into the garage it was mid afternoon and Scott had now settled into a total silence. He had said everything that he had to say. He just wanted to get away from Tom and everyone.
Tom followed him in the house and Scott immediately headed into the family room in the basement. Rebecca was in the kitchen and Scott had not even acknowledged her as he slammed the door behind him and stomped down the stairs. Tom came in shortly afterwards and stood to talk to Becky for a few moments. He did not go into everything but told her that the doctor had set up an appointment for counseling sessions. They all knew that Scott needed some help.
Rebecca was very upset but she wanted to believe that this was the best thing for him. If he would not talk to any of them maybe he would talk to a professional.
Tom excused himself and said that he was going to lie down out in the studio apartment and then probably just leave later. He thought that Scott had calmed down somewhat and maybe even accepted the counseling.
That was exactly what Scott had wanted him to think. As he hit the basement his anger rose again as he knew that Tom was up there talking to Becky about him. How dare they discuss me as if I am some inhuman object! Still somehow he was able to control his urge to go up stairs and physically knock some brains into her. Instead he stayed in the basement all night again. If she knows what’s good for her she won’t even dare come down here!
She didn’t.
Tom had left around eight o’clock the evening before. Scott never came up from the basement and Tom thought it best that he didn’t even go down to say good-bye.
Rebecca had taken the children to school in the morning then stayed upstairs and worked in the kitchen and did some laundry. Ethan had left for work around two p.m. Rebecca found herself alone with Scott and had already assumed that he would take the opportunity to come up and have it out with her. She knew him well enough to know that he had not forgotten or accepted the whole incident.
Scott did come upstairs. He came out into the kitchen where she was, but never saying a word, giving her only the most hateful glare, slammed the back door behind him as he took off toward the studio again.
The ire in his eyes shot right through her so that she wanted to cry. Why was he being this way? Can’t he see that we are all trying to help him?
Rebecca left to pick up Sarah and Treage from school, a trip that Scott usually made but she was not about to go ask him if he intend to do it that day. She waited as long as she dared before getting in the car and leaving. That had even made her angry. To think that he would refuse to pick up his own children from school.
When they returned home both children got something to eat and then Sarah took off to her bedroom and Treage took up his favorite position in front of the television.
Rebecca had a lot of nervous energy and she decided to go out and feed and water the horses herself instead of nagging her children to do it like she had to do nearly every night.
Scott had heard the door on the garage shut as he glanced out from the studio window to see Rebecca headed for the barn. Unconsciously he had been searching for the opportunity for her to do something to set him off. He sat stewing things over in his mind. Finally he couldn’t take it any longer.
Rebecca had not been out in the barn ten minutes when he came through the door. She turned to see that the anger had not left his face.
"What the hell are you doing?" he demanded.
Sarcastically she snapped back, "What does it look like?"
"It looks like you’re doing their chores for them!"
"So? Maybe I just wanted to get out of the house."
"I thought that we agreed that they had responsibilities. If you keep doing things for them they are never gonna learn anything!" His attitude was really starting to grate on her nerves.
"You know, I wouldn’t talk about responsibilities if I were you."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
Rebecca just drew in a breath and shook her head.
"Well?" He was waiting for her reply.
"Well what?" Her sardonic tone caused his hands to clench. She kept at him, "You have the nerve to talk to me about responsibilities! Didn’t you have a responsibility to show up for your appointments? Don’t you have a responsibility to this family?"
"This family? Well, maybe it is about time that THIS FAMILY starts acting like one."
Rebecca did not even understand what he was saying.
He continued. "Maybe this family, meaning YOU, should not take it upon herself to do what you think is right for me. I can make my own goddamn decisions! But, oh no, the first time something doesn’t go your way you go run off calling Tom to come and fix everything! Well, I got news for you, honey, I’m not going to any counseling sessions no matter what you think!"
Rebecca’s eyes narrowed and her teeth clenched. This had nothing to do with her feeding the horses.
"That’s what’s really pissing you off isn’t it? You are so goddamn pissed that I called Tom!" She knew she had hit on a nerve when she saw his face.
"You know maybe what goes on around here is nobody’s fuckin’ business but ours!" Scott shot back.
For a split second she thought maybe he was right. Maybe she shouldn’t have called Tom. It had only made matters worse. Now there was no reasoning with him. She might have backed down if he hadn’t have called her a goddamn fuckin’ bitch.
She flew at him in a rage. "You son of a bitch! I am only trying to knock some sense into you, You certainly aren’t listening to ME!"
Scott started to leave but she was now blindly ranting anything that came into her head. "I have been here through this whole thing. I have been trying to understand why you are acting this way! Damn you! I have been trying to but you won’t let me!" Just then tears started to push their way from beneath her lashes. "I have always been there for you. Even when you went off fuckin’ around on me, I still stayed here!"
At first she thought that what she said might make him stop. When they locked eyes she realized she had gone too far. Instead of feeling guilt he flew into a rage.
His eyes were wide and his mouth spit out every word. "You bitch! You are never gonna let me forget that, are you? You know what? I wish to god I had fucked her ‘cause as far as you’re concerned I did anyway. At least if I knew I was gonna get blamed for it the rest of my life I would have made it worthwhile! Oh," he stopped and then added, "and believe me, she would have been damn fuckin’ good too!"
With that he turned and took off toward the house. Rebecca ran after him yelling obscenities all the way and demanding to know just how many women there really had been. She tried to get in the door behind him but he slammed it in her face. He flew across the living room and up the stairs into the bedroom where he slammed that door too.
Rebecca followed right after him. When she got into the bedroom he already had a bag on the bed.
"What do you think you’re doing?" she demanded.
"Get the hell away from me!" he took his arm and pushed her aside.
About that time Sarah and Treage had both heard the fight and came into the bedroom. Scott yelled at them to leave but Rebecca turned and tried to use them against him.
"No, stay!" Then she turned her words back to him. "Maybe they should see how you are."
Sarah was already crying. Scott went over to his dresser and took out a handful of clothes and threw them haphazardly into the bag.
Rebecca looked on as he shoved them inside. "Oh, no, you’re not walking out on me now! You got something more to say to me then say it!"
"I don’t have anything that I want to say to you ever again!"
He turned back to the dresser for more clothes again pushing her out of the way as she tried to step in front of him.
"Get the hell out of my way."
"You’re not going anywhere."
He laughed, "That’s what you think!"
Then as fast as he could shove things into the bag Rebecca ripped them out throwing them around the room. Sarah was more upset now and Treage was even begging then to stop fighting. Both of them were oblivious to their children’s pleas.
Every time Rebecca would yank out another piece of clothing and fling it across the room the madder it made him. He was shoving her out of the way and now calling her a string of obscenities to which Rebecca responded by pounding her fists into his chest.
He grabbed her wrists and pulled them off of him. Rebecca struggled to break free but he was hurting her. Finally, unable to get away and showing the intensity of her rage, she spit in his face.
That was the end. Instinctively he raised a hand to slap her face but in an instant of lucidity stayed his hand, instead pushing her body away from his with such force that she fell backwards and landed against the edge of the night stand knocking the lamp onto the floor. For a split second he saw the pain in her face and the horror in her eyes when she realized that for the first time he had laid a hand to her. He knew that she was hurt. He could see it in her eyes as she lay there on the floor. He stepped forward to help her.
Rebecca screamed as she tried to get up herself, "Don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me again!"
Scott stopped dead in his tracks.
"Get out!" She hissed at him. "Get out!"
With that Scott grabbed the rest of the clothes on the bed, shoved them into the bag and took off out of the room. Sarah followed right behind him pulling on his arm, crying and begging him not to go.
It was too late. Not even Sarah could get him to change his mind now.
She was still at the car door as he pulled out of the garage not even saying one word to her. He fishtailed on the gravel at the end of the driveway. He was gone.
