Forever More
Part 1 - Hope
Chapter Seventeen
Rebecca somehow managed to get dressed and go to work. By the time she arrived she was feeling more and more sure of what she had to do. She had to get away. She didn’t see it as running away, but knew that as long as she was there Scott would always have a power over her, a power that she had now recognized and knew that she had to overcome.
This man had come into her life and that of her children’s and taken over every aspect of it. She had to do everything she could to gain that control back, and that meant leaving.
Rebecca didn’t know how she was going to do it or where she was going but she and her children would have to start another life somewhere away from Scott Taylor. She was scared of the unknown future that lay ahead for them but she was strong. She could do this. She had to do this.
Before talking to any of her family, Jack’s family, she used the afternoon to contact a realtor. He would be over the following evening to take a look at the place and agree on a selling price. Rebecca almost felt relieved as she hung up the phone. This was final. She had made a decision.
Scott spent much of the day again in the studio. Linda was about the house and wondering just what he was going to do in order to leave that evening as she had expected. She was almost enjoying this. She knew that Rebecca had called and was aware that she was there with him. She didn’t tell Scott, of course.
Just as she had thought, he was going to be gone that evening. She already knew that what ever happened when he came back she was giving him an ultimatum. The games were over. If he wanted her back in is life there was not room for the both of them and one was going and it wasn’t her.
At that moment she felt secure enough in their relationship to know that if he had wanted this other woman he would have been gone long before now. There was a reason that he kept hanging on.
Rebecca had not heard from Scott all day and expected him to show up that evening. She knew that he would not go two days without being with her. It was nearly seven o’clock when he drove in. She met him outside.
"Why didn’t you tell me that Linda was back?" she demanded.
"Oh, no." he uttered to himself as he got out of the car. "Because she just got here."
"That’s a lie!" Rebecca shouted and looked him directly in the face. "I called there this morning and she answered the phone!"
"She got there last night, " he tried to back up his story.
"What’s she doing there?" Rebecca demanded again, only this time with less force as she tried in vain to choke back the hurt that was pushing its way through the anger and solid stature that she tried to convey.
He looked away.
"Damn it, Scott! Just TELL me!"
He had never heard this tone in her voice before.
"She wants to work things out." he hesitantly confessed after a moment of silence.
"And what do you want, Scott?"
"I don’t know." He paused, "No, I want you." He tried to take her arm.
Shaking him loose, "No, you were right the first time. You don’t know what the hell you want." Rebecca turned away. Not even looking at him now she spoke again. "Face it, Scott, you love Linda. You are in love with Linda and no matter what you say or do or is gonna change that."
"I’m gonna talk to Linda."
Turing back around Rebecca took a deep breath. "Well, its too late. I’m going to be moving."
Scott looked at her horrified. "What! What are you doing?" he pleaded.
"I’ve got to get away from here. I’ve got to get away from you."
Those words cut right to his heart. "Me?"
"As long as I am around you, you keep coming back into my life."
"What about the boys?"
"What about them?" She knew how he felt about them. She also knew how they had come to love him. It saddened her so much to have to take that away from them. He had been a father to them these last few months. They had needed someone in their lives like him and now she was taking that away. Right now her sadness for them almost overpowered her own, but she remained strong. "They’ll be with me, of course."
"Where are you going? You just aren’t packing up and leaving." He was sure that she wouldn’t go that far. Maybe a vacation or trip somewhere.
"I have a realtor coming over tomorrow night. I’m putting the place up for sale."
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This was unreal. She would never do this, never go this far, yet as she stood telling him her voice was so definite.
"You can’t be serious?" He asked in unbelief.
"Well, I am."
There was no opportunity left for discussion. She had made a decision. She was leaving. She was leaving him.
They stood in the driveway a few more minutes not knowing what else to say. If she had tears he couldn’t see them.
Finally, looking up at him she said sadly, "Go home, Scott. Go home to Linda."
She turned and walked up toward the house. He heard the door shut and he looked up to see that she had really left him standing alone.
Rebecca’s home went on the market the first week in June. Her family did not understand at all why she was doing this. Her sister-in-law was the only one to whom Rebecca had given any reason. She had tried to talk her out of it but knew that Rebecca was so confused at that point that maybe it would be better if she got away.
The month of went by so quickly. The realtor had brought by several people. Rebecca was really hoping that she would be able to sell and relocate before the boys had to start school again in the fall.
During that time she had very little contact with Scott. He had stopped by to see the boys. Their own meetings were now more of a cordial nature and Rebecca usually tried to make herself scarce in the barn or back in the bedroom while he was there.
As the days wore on it almost became easier to see him. Without ever saying so she could tell that he and Linda were doing better. Something inside of her was even happy for him. She loved him so much that all she wanted was for him to be happy.
Rebecca could tell that he still did not want them out of his life and if retaining a friendship with her was the only way that she would let him in then that was what he would do. She wanted that also. He had become her best friend and that was possibly the hardest part to end in their relationship, that closeness, that intimate sharing. Now as she looked at him she saw a passed lover. Someone with whom she shared the most intimate details of her being, her soul. It was not easy to let that go.
Sometimes in the evening Corky’s ears would perk up as a car drove by. On several occasions Rebecca caught a glimpse of his car as it passed out of site. On those nights it was very hard for her. She knew that deep inside he still felt something for her. On those nights she wanted him.
A few days earlier Rebecca met with the realtor after work to go over a purchase agreement offered on her home. She agreed to the offer without any negotiation. This night he was back and had put a sold sign on the top of the sign near the front drive.
It was around nine-thirty and Rebecca had just gotten the boys in the bathtub. She was out by the back door filling up the dog’s water bowl when she looked up to see Scott’s car approaching.
Standing, she watched as he slowed down when he saw her outside. Then just as quickly he caught sight of the sold sign by the side of the road. He pulled up in front of the sign and getting out just stood and looked at her for a moment. Their eyes met and she felt great sadness sweep over her. Then turning toward the sign Scott ripped it out of the ground and threw it as far across the road as he could causing it to land in the ditch on the opposite side. Returning to his car and spinning his tires on the loose gravel he drove off.
Rebecca got the boys up and dressed early and they were out of the house and on the road by nine a.m. Soon She was heading up the highway that took them west across the lower part of the state. Then turning north she made her way around the capital of Lansing and on further to her destination of the small town of Westville that lay about forty-five minutes further north.
A girl that Rebecca knew from church had lived there a few years earlier and she had told her how nice it was. A friendly area, with good schools, a very nice place to raise children.
When Rebecca had accepted the offer on her farm she had the realtor start looking for her. She had no idea why but this girl’s description of the area came back to her. The realtor had contacted another in that area and they had made arrangements over the phone for her to drive up and look at several places that afternoon.
It was a very nice summer afternoon and the ride was very enjoyable. They stopped for breakfast along the way. Arriving about a half hour before their appointment they had time to drive around and check out the town. Her friend from church was right, it seemed to be a very nice area.
Meeting with the realtor they first looked at some pictures of places that he thought she might be interested in. She had told him that she had horses but it seemed that even though she was going to profit very well on the sale her small farm, she was not, however, going to be able to buy something of the same value in the area. Real estate was going for much more there.
The realtor did show her some very nice places and Rebecca chose three to go out and actually look at closer. The last one that they saw that afternoon was a small three bedroom ranch out in the country across from a river, sitting on about two acres in a very quiet open area.
The boys liked the place and Rebecca did also but she had some painful decisions to make. She could no longer have the horses. There was probably enough land to build a small barn later and that almost seemed like the way to go, but in the mean time she might have to sell them.
Both boys were very upset about that but she explained that maybe they could find someone to board them with until they were ready to move them up there. That seemed like a better idea and by the end of the evening Rebecca had made an offer on the home.
If her decision seemed hasty it was only that she now had a closing date on her own home and was under some time constraints to find something soon. Besides, she did like the area and had heard from the residents that the school system was indeed very good.
Rebecca and the boys spent the night in a small motel just north of town. Lying in bed that night she had so many mixed emotions. She had never been out on her own before. Even after Jack’s death she had his family to lean on since her parents were both gone. She was scared. She had also never sold or purchased a home on her own and she felt at the mercy of everyone, yet still she was pleased with her progress so far. Now all she had to do was find out if the couple accepted her offer on the home.
The boys and Rebecca woke up and attended Mass the next morning in town, she had checked the schedule the day before, and then out to breakfast afterwards. They took their time heading back home and made a few stops along the way in Battle Creek and Kalamazoo. It was a nice day out with her boys that she had not had for so long.
Finally arriving back at home around seven o’clock in the evening she pulled in finding Scott’s car parked near the barn. The boys immediately ran up to greet him.
Scott came out of the barn wiping his hands on the legs of his jeans.
"Where’ve you been?" He sounded more worried than anything.
"I took the boys shopping today." That was not totally untrue.
"You weren’t here last night either."
Rebecca was now beginning to realize how much he checked up on her. She almost started to get upset with him but chose not to respond to his statement.
"I just fed the horses." He turned to walk back into the barn sounding disgusted at her lack of responsibility.
"Thank you, but I knew that they had to be fed."
She must have sounded a little annoyed at his kind gesture.
"Well, sorry. I thought I was being helpful."
"I’m sorry," Rebecca changed her tone, "Its just been a long day and I’m tired."
"Its OK. I was just worried, that’s all." He didn’t want to fight. He had been very worried about them all but he could not show her that.
Kyle came up and started to tell Scott about their new home. As he talked disbursing bits and pieces of things as he remembered them Scott looked up at Rebecca painfully. She knew she had to say something now.
"We looked at some homes today."
"Where?"
She didn’t answer.
"I see." He asked Kyle to go away and leave them alone for a minute. After he had left Scott walked closer to where Rebecca was now sitting on a bale of hay. He sat next to her.
"So, that’s it, isn’t it? You don’t even want me to know where you are? You hate me that much."
"Scott, stop." She stood up and faced him. "You know I don’t hate you. You know how I feel about you, but I can’t go on with my life when you are always in it."
"I promise I won’t bother you, but just let me know where you are. I don’t think I can take not knowing where you are, where the boys are."
Rebecca looked around the barn hoping to find an easy answer to all of this.
"Is that what want? You want me out of their life too?" he painfully asked.
"Oh, Jesus, no!."
"Well, that’s what you’re doing."
She heard the words as they left her lips and regretted them almost immediately. "You can’t be a father to them." She had hurt him. He had grown to love them and they felt the same way about him. In some ways this was his reason for keeping her in his life also.
Rebecca needed to make amends, to right the wrong she had just spoken. "Westville, its north of Lansing."
He got up and came over to her.
She continued "I put an offer on a small place yesterday. I haven’t heard yet it they accepted it or not."
She could tell his mind was trying to calculate distance.
"Its about three hours from here," she offered.
He seemed relieved to find that she was at least still in the state.
"This is what you want?"
"No, Scott, its not what I want, but its what I have to do!"
They stood in silence for a few moments. The whole thing was starting to sink in for both of them. She was really going.
He offered if there was anything that he could do for her. Did she need anything? As much as she wanted to stand on her own she still felt that she wanted to lean on him, maybe needed to. Just that she knew he was still there for her after all of this was reassuring. How would she ever be able to go on without him?
The following day the realtor called Rebecca to tell her that her offer on the home was accepted.
