THURSDAY JUNE 8
Right after school I had to go to work until 8. After work I picked up Amanda, we had plans to go swimming at Lee's house but Becky said that he wouldn't be home until 10:30 so we didn't bother going over there. We went back to town and talked with Nikki, Jess, Jason, and Mikah for a while. We then came back to my house, she styed over.
FRIDAY JUNE 9
I worked from 4 to 9. Right after work I halled ass over to Scottstock 2000. Right when I got there I changed in the grass parking lot. Outside Nikki and Nessa were wrestling with the guys. I saw Shawn. I only got to watch 1&1/2 bands play. Lee was there. I sort of blew him off, I feel really bad about that. I love strobe lights, they rule. I'm going to buy one with my first pay check. Shawn is such a dork, he was hanging out smoking by the port-o-pods, I mean what the fuck! Hehehe.
SATURDAY JUNE 10
I got up and worked from 11 to 4. It was fucking 90 degrees outside! Nikki wanted to walk all over town once I got out of work, we had plans. We sat at the coffee shop just about all day. Shawn was there. Damnit, I want him so badly. All Nikki did was whine and complain all day, so fucking anoying. This was a really bad day for our friendship. We couldn't get along for anything. I'm trying not to hold a grudge. I talked to Mike for the first time in forever. I missed him.
SUNDAY JUNE 11
The best day in forever! So great. I wore this new red dress I got today. I went to town to pick up Mike and some of Travis's friends. Mike and I drank coffee at Hockies while the boys sat in the car. I called Lee and Nessa. Lee drove out. At 8 we went to Nessa's for a while. While I drove there all three of us sat in the front seat, Lee in the middle. Nessa wouldn't let the guys in her house. Lee joked about how I should get some of Mike's extasy and rape Shawn. Hehehe. "I'm saving myself to get raped by a girl," he joked. Nessa came with us to town. We picked up Mike's bong and went home. Right away we went for a walk down Gutchess road. In the woods we smoke the bong and a joint. We came back to my house. We sat in a circle either meditating or haveing a sayonce. I still can't figure that out. The we played with my erotic foreplay dice. Hehehe. Just as I was going up Mike's shorts my mom knocked on the door! HAHAHA. Oh god. We started playing truth, dare, or strip after that incident. The guys left at 11. At 12, Nessa and I went out on my deck and smoked another joint. That was so great. The first time I have ever got anything massive off of it. Wow, that was great. Everything felt so great yet I felt nothing at all. I didn't want to fall asleep, I wanted the feeling to last as long as possible. Techno music was sooooo great. Wow, I can't believe how great it was. Finally I let myself fall asleep.
MONDAY JUNE 12
Nessa and I woke up late of course. At noon I went to her house for a couple hours. We were still fucked up from the night before. Our noses kept doing this weird huming thing. At 5 I went back to her house and got her, got Amanda, dropped Nessa off at Brad's house. Amanda and I drove around for a while until she had to go to Key Club. I picked up Nessa. We went to the skate park and I watched Chris skate for a while, he's REALLY good. We went over to the coffee shop then to Arby's. We went back to the coffee shop then drove over by Jared's house. We went back to the coffee shop saw Andy and Brandon and gave them a ride to the skate park. We stayed there with them and Duva for a while then drove back to the coffee shop with them again. Jared invited us out to his trailor in the woods so we went out to Long Lake with him and Derek(shudder, he keeps talking to me about how he's going to rape me). Right when we got there Derek told Nessa and me that they brought us out there to rape us. He's so scarry. Andy, Brandon, Jenny, and her friend came out soon after(thank god!). We sat there for a while talking. Nessa and I had to leave just as they were about to light up(damnit!). I drove her home then went home.
TUESDAY JUNE 13
Amanda and Kevin came out to my house for a while. We went to town. While Kevin picked up a job application for Wendy's I got in the front seat with Amanda. We sat there joking around for a while. When he ran into the Bird's Nest I parked his car in the next parking lot over. He was so pissed. I felt really bad, but oh well what can I do now. We went to the mall for a while. Then they drove me home. At 5 I went back into town to get pizza and drive Colin home. My dad recorded Amanda's Furmunda CD for me so I can finally give it back to her. I've been massively working on my page for the past few hours. Now I'm gonna go to some of my friends pages then go to bed.
WEDNESDAY JUNE 14
Not much done. Nikki came over for a few hours this afternoon. We edited pics for this page and tried looking up gay porn, a fetish of hers, hehehe. I worked at Wendy's from 4 to 10:30. That was pretty fun, better than sitting on my ass at home. I'm in this massive Shawn withdrawl stage. Even though I rarely say a thing to him I just miss the presence of him. It makes me sad to think that Saturday night might have been the last time that I'll see him for the rest of the summer. And I didn't take any of the chances I had to talk to him. All but one. Damnit, I'm so stupid. I miss him soooo much.
THURSDAY JUNE 15
Not much, actually I can't remember for shit. I worked from 4 to 10:30 again though.
FRIDAY JUNE 16
Still don't know what I did. I think that I talked on the phone all day. I worked from 4 to 9.
SATURDAY JUNE 17
Today was pretty fun. Nessa, Nikki, Amanda, and I hung out. We all drove around. Didn't really do anything though. Nikki stayed the night.
SUNDAY JUNE 18
A sick day. Just layed around all day. It was Michelle's graduation party, I didn't go though. My lip got all poofy and infected then died down. Just went on the net and talked with Nik again. Nessa left today for skating camp, I'll probably see her as soon as she gets back.
MONDAY JUNE 19
I'm so happy! I though Shawn was gone down state for the summer. He's back! Hehehe. I picked Amanda up from Key Club, we went to the skate park. We talked with those we know there then went to to coffee shop with Duva. We then drove out to his house. We made meatless Hamberger Helper. Pretty weird. Amanda stayed at my house again.
TUESDAY JUNE 20
Another slow and boring day. I drove Amanda to her grandma's house then went to Ossenike with my mom.
WEDNESDAY JUNE 21
Great day. Loved it. I saw and talked to everyone. We all stayed at the skate park all evening. I drove Micah's car. It's so awesome. I let Jess and Jason borrow my erotic foreplay dice. Jess, Jason, Amanda, and Andy got married over a pack of Marborol Reds by Shawn. Everyone sat on my "boat". Shawn tried to get me to put it in nuetral so me could push it around.
THURSDAY JUNE 22
Kevin talked to Nikki and me about sex with Amanda. He's my alterego. We have similar personalities. I hackysacked with Duva, Chris, Nikki, and Lainy. Jess and I talked. I really missed her. We're patching things up. That's really good, at least I hope so.
FRIDAY JUNE 23
I did nothing! I worked from 4 to 10:30.
SATURDAY JUNE 24
Went to town before work. I was with Amanda. We sta with Nikki, Andy, Shawn, Jason, and Micah. They ate shrooms. I drove them all out to the 7-mile dam. Jason kept opening up the door as I drove. I fit Nikki, Micah, Shawn, and Jason in the back seat with Amanda and Andy in the front with me. That was great. I had to work once again, 4 to 10:30. After work I took Nikki out to Justin's for awhile. Amanda came back to my house at midnight.
SUNDAY JUNE 25
Went to town before work. Amanda and I went to the beach and swung on the swings. Jeirid was there, I finally met him, pretty weird. I took Amanda home then worked the most stressful day, 4 to 10:30 again.
MONDAY JUNE 26
Amanda had a party at her house, Barb was gone! Hehehe. I got lot's of free food from Wendy's for my friends, there was no food at Barb's. We finally got to see Get Real. It was such a cute movie, guys kissing, hehehe. Andy stayed the night there. Maybe in a sense this is foreshadowing, I'll use it that way cause now I know what happened...
TUESDAY JUNE 27
Sat around at Amanda's all morning. Can you guess what Andy and Amanda did? Nikki and I talked again. It kind of makes me mad that Amanda puts up such a cover, "I'm angelic", people are seeing through it though. I will never judge her for it though, she's my Amanda, I love her to death. I got sick and didn't go to work. Got on the net and have been working on my page. I talked to Nikki. She spent the day with everyone that I wanted to. She told me some stuff, makes me REALLY happy. I guess that the guys were chanting to Shawn, "Amber wants your balls!". That's Great!!! Hehehe, I'm such a dork.
WEDNESDAY JUNE 28
Nik, Nessa, and I went to town for the evening. We went to get Chris, Nessa new boyfriend. He sold us some weed. I drove them all out in the woods. I backed into a tree just as we started to float. We smoked it then drove to town. I drove Nessa home at 9. I then sat around talking with Jess and Nik.
THURSDAY JUNE 29
I sat around all day talking on the phone with Justin and Kevin. I went out to Justin's then went Mini Golfing with him. It was very stress relieving for me. Later that night Sam and I patched things up, we're friends again.
FRIDAY JUNE 30
Justin and Mike came out until 4 when I took Justin to work. Mike and I went to the coffee shop. Shawn came in. I had gotten up, he sat down were I was sitting. He asked me if I wanted my seat back. Us three sat and talked for a while. I actually talked to Shawn!!! I'm so proud of myself. The night before Sam told me that Jess said he hated me, not even close!!! Mike ased him if he wanted to come out to my house to party with us, he already had plans. We went back to my house, Nikki was there. Anthony showed up all surprised cause this was a party for him. Amanda and Kevin came out, I felt so weird around her yet I miss her SO much. They left. Anthony, Mike, Nik, and I all got baked in the woods. We came back and sat in front of my strobe light for a few hours then I drove Ant and Mike home.
SATURDAY JULY 1
Laid around all day until I had to work at 4. Jess and Lain stopped by near the end of my shift. I confronted Jess about the thing with Shawn hating me. She said that someone told her that, a he said she said thingy. I'll believe what I want to and personally I don't believe that.
SUNDAY JULY 2
The best day of work. I worked with Seth and Matt. They gave me a head set. I listened to them harrass each other about being "flamers". It was great. Seth continuously harrasses me about cleaning the pubes from the men's mirror. OH GOD!!!
MONDAY JULY 3
I went out to Sammie's house with Nik and Nessa. I bought a huge ounce from one of my long time friends. We got baked off our asses. The best buzz I've had in my life. SO GREAT!!! Once I fell back to earth on a normal buzz level I drove Nessa home then Nik and I went to the coffee shop. We sat at a booth by ourselves. Shawn came in, said hi to Nikki, then turned around and read a news paper. That burned. Maybe that's why I've been annoyed of her lately, maybe it's more.
TUESDAY JULY 4
Went to town. The entire time Nik tried to find someone to be around once I had to work. We went to the beach and waisted time. I talked to Nessa for a minute then went to work. It was really fun at work talking with Seth once again. I worked until midnight.
WEDNESDAY JULY 5
Sammie came over for the first time in months. I drove out there to get her. We stayed up all night talking. She told me about how she talked to Shawn the other night. He said that their was an attraction to me. I'm so happy now. I am the only girl who likes him. He is very shy around girls, like I couldn't tell! She told me that she believes that once I become friends with him it won't be far to find a little more. I want that boy!
THURSDAY JULY 6
Sam and I went swimming, my first time this summer. Later on, when I drove her home, we went in her hot tub. We talked some more.
FRIDAY JULY 7
Spent the afternoon with Lain and Nik at the skate park. Lain drove me to work at 4. At 7 everyone met at Wendy's and we all drove out to Lee's house. Lee and I jumped in the river. We all then sat in the hot tub. Mike and Lee slow danced in the middle. It was great.
SATURDAY JULY 8
I worked from 4 until 9. I then picked up Amanda and went to the coffee shop. Lee was there with Ashley. I made plans with him to come over at 1am. Amanda and I went back to my house and watched Scream 3. It was so predictable. My guess was that it would be Cid's long lost brother from some guy that her mother fucked. Hehehe. I'm so good. Lee came over. We sat and talked until 4:30am. Then we went swimming. Lee's ass was our guiding light, hehehe. We came back inside and fell asleep. Lee woke up at 7 and left before my parents were up.
SUNDAY JULY 9
Amanda, Nessa, Mike and Lee were over. Lee and I fought eachother on the N64 playing Perfect Dark. We went water skiing and tubing. At 10 we went to the coffee shop. Nessa ordered a pizza. Nikki told me that Shawn left today, he'll be back on August 7 and be staying until Febuary when he turns 16. I was so happy that I know now. Nikki was all over all of the guys as usual, it is pretty annoying. She is REALLY getting on my nerves a lot lately. Hopefully I'll get over it soon.
MONDAY JULY 10
I can't quite remember this far back, today being July 21. I know that Jess called though. We made plans for Wednesday.
TUESDAY JULY 11
Amanda, Nessa, and Nikki all came out to my house. Went to town at 7 until 10:30. My notes say something about Chris and Nessa that I can't quite figure out.
WEDNESDAY JULY 12
Jess and I went to town together. The first time we've been together in a long time. I drove Dubie out to Jared's to pick some stuff up. He got kicked out of his house and is staying with Andy for awhile until Jared gets back. Jess and I sat outside the coffee shop listening to Ian play his guitar and sing.
THURSDAY JULY 13
I guess that I looked at cars, cleaned my room, and worked.
FRIDAY JULY 14
Drove around with Nessa and Amanda. I found a red Lumina that I'm supposed to buy on Monday. We went to the coffee shop and listened to some band play for awhile.
SATURDAY JULY 15
A great day. I went to the Punk show. I sat there alone for awhile because Amanda was late. We went with Sarah to get her nipple peirced. That was so fucked up. I got to see Furmunda play. So many memories of that place when Shawn was here. I miss him so much. It's been 12 days since I've seen him. Amanda stayed the night. I dyed her hair blond again.
SUNDAY JULY 16
Amanda and I got up and went swimming. I drove her home then went to work.
MONDAY JULY 17
Nessa came over. We went over to Chris's house. He took her for a quick swim. I drove her home when I went to work for 4. Work was so great. I met this new guy named John. I was so hyper, blond, and flirty. He kept coming around me. I spilt french dressing all over the floor. Everyone laughed at me. Seth told me to got to his office so he could spank me!!! Hehehe. John kept playing with my head-set that was attatched to my hip. Now I want that boy! Matt wants my Amanda, she said that she would work there for free just to work with him. We tried making plans to party out at the Narrow's on Friday. We'll see about that.
TUESDAY JULY 18
I ended up sleeping in until 1:00pm. I showered then went to work. John was there! I fuckin had to work with Dan, my boss. He's so annoying! John asked me to stay until 1:00am again(just like last night) so I could drive him home. I couldn't, I still had my mom's car.
WEDNESDAY JULY 19
Got up and drove with Nessa, Amanda, Nikki, Trav, and my dad down to Pine Knob to see Third Eye Blind. My mom broke the news to me that I couldn't get that car anymore. Splender was first to play, they were great. Vertical Horizon sucked! I hate them. The came 3EB. It was so great. The 2nd best concert I've been to, Bush was the best. The very last song was my altimate favorite, God Of Wine. We got home at 3am. The girls stayed the night.
THURSDAY JULY 20
My dad woke me up to a surprise, I got a car! It's a redish maroon 1991 Grand Prix. I had to drive Nessa to work then pick it up. Amanda went home at 7, then I came home. I met Nikki and Jess and the coffee shop. We picked up Amanda then Nessa and went back to the coffee shop. We talked to Duva then went out to Jared's for Dubie's going away party. I listened to him play his guitar until we had to leave. We hugged then left him. There were so many people out there. Three cars had to pull out of the drive way so that we could leave. Nessa got drunk, she's so amusing. I drove everyone home.
FRIDAY JULY 21
Amanda and I went to see the movie Loser. It was so adorable. I then drove out to Lee's house see what he was doing. We all drove back to town and sat the coffee shop. Lee had to pick up Sam at a dance. We all then drove out to my house they stayed until 12am. Amanda stayed the night at my house.
SATURDAY JULY 22
I drove Amanda home before I went to work for 11am. I was at work until 4. I came home and slept then talked to Nessa on the phone for a long time.
SUNDAY JULY 23
Nessa came over for awhile. We went into town, nobody was there so we went to K-mart and ate potato soup, Pizza, and bread sticks. I brought her to work then picked her up at 9pm. We came back to my house. Chris came over. Nessa and I sat outside on the trunk of my car singing and eating cherry chip ice cream. Lee came over, too. We all sat infront of my strobe light. Lee and I talked a lot. Before we drove Nessa home they all smoked some weed, I didn't because of that damn drug test thing coming up. Lee drove everyone home.
MONDAY JULY 24
I worked from 4 until midnight. I talked to Matt, Larry, and John about the drug test coming up. They all told me that Seth was just fucking with me and that they were all supposed to go along with it. I invited them all out to Lee's party on Saturday.
TUESDAY JULY 25
I went to Macinkaiw Island with my family. We then came back to the main land and shopped. I got some Egyptian Musk oil and a deck and book set of Goddess Tarot cards. When I got home the phone kept on ringing. Nikki and I patched things up between us finally. She's not being as fake anymore.
WEDNESDAY JULY 26
Nessa came over again. She went to Chris's house while I was at work. Lee came over agian, too. He left at 1:30 in the morning. At 2am, Nessa and I smoked up. It was the worst trip of my life, I am now afraid to do that shit.
THURSDAY JULY 27
A really shitty day. Nik and I went to town together. Jess was there, we were in the exact same mood. The only lively thing was my vibrating hampster key chain, even Andy had a laugh over it. Nik and I went out to my house and highlighted my bleach blond hair brown. Pretty fucked up looking, I like it though.
FRIDAY JULY 28
I worked from 4 to 8. I hung out with Amanda until Jeirid came and got her to go and see the Nutty Proffesor 2. Just as I was getting into my car to go home, James and Lee pulled up. They bought the stuff back that I had left from a party out at Lee's house a month before. I went to see the Neuuty Proffesor 2 with them.
SATURDAY JULY 29
At 10:15 I was woken by a call from Nik, she said that Shawn came back over a week early. I was so happy. I went and got Amanda. We sat at the coffee shop and played Connect Four for an hour until I had to go to work. I left work at 10:30pm, not even having all of my stuff done, I just wanted to get out to Lee's house for the party. It had been such a stressful day. I got baked and waisted off my ass. Jess and I were great together. We went swimming in the hot tub with Lee in just our bras and underwear. I danced around in front of everyone in them when I was wet. I love Sublime when I'm fucked up. I fell asleep and woke up with a hangover of a different degree ever couple of hours. Oh yeah, Nikki and Derek FINALLY got back together!!! I'm so happy for them.
SUNDAY JULY 30
I hung out with Nessa all day. We went into town. She bought a bag. We then went and smoked some with Jason. We sat at the coffee shop until Duva got there. I drove all of us to the Kiddy Park. I then drove Duva back to the coffee shop and came out to my house. I actually got to stay the night at Nessa's house, I was grounded from staying anywhere for the rest of the summer. We slept upstairs and smoked on the roof. We were so tired that we fell right asleep.
MONDAY JULY 31
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKI!!! The best day in forever. I picked up Jess from her house. We drove into town to meet Nik at the coffee shop. Right when I pulled into the parking lot Duva honked and pulled up next to us with Shawn in the passenger's seat. They said hi to us then went to Taco Bell to eat. Nik appeared right when we got inside. She and I went out to my car to put her stuff in it. Dubie pulled up, he came back!!! We sat in the coffee shop talking with him for awhile. Us girls drove to the mall to exchange Nik's clothes and Jess bought the Destiny's Child CD. We went to Burger King to eat then came back to the coffee shop. Nik, Dubie, and I talked for awhile. Then Shawn came in. We all sat and talked for some time. Everyone came in. I had to go and pick up Amanda at Key Club, Nik came with me. When we got back we sat and talked some more. Whenever I looked at Shawn I'd catch his eye. I missed him so much. I still feel so much towards that boy. All of us girls and Dubie went to Wendy's to get food. Dubie got a huge peice of ass there, it was a triple!!! Hehehe... at least that's what we bought him. When we got back we all got kicked out of the coffee shop. We sat on the sidewalk and listened to Dubie and Ian play a guitar again. Nikki and Derek sat together, me and Amanda did. Shawn kept walking around then kneeling on the ground. Nikki told me that I looked really pretty when my hair flew in my face and I was gazing at Shawn. I talked with Tori for a while. Her nipple was broken! Hehehe. I drove her to her house to pick some stuff up then Amanda home for 10pm. Nik, Tori, and I went back to the coffee shop. We all stood outside of Dubie's car. Someguys pulled up. One of them ran around with his junk hanging out everwhere, flashing everyone. It was so grows. All night Shawn kept walking slightly away from everyone with Dubie talking. I really want to know what they were talking about, right before that I was talking to Dubie about how I still wanted Shawn. And the night before I had told Duva. I had to leave at 11pm which really sucked because everyone was partying all night out nere my house. And then the next night they were all going to the Fair together.
TUESDAY AUGUST 1
I got my wisdom teeth removed. I slept all day and watched Urban Legends and Get Real. I wish so much that I could have gone to the fair with everyone.
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 2
I worked on my webpage and slept. Lots of pain still. I love my pain killers, Anexia, it's great.
THURSDAY AUGUST 3
Amanda came over for a little while. We just sat around, it still hurt for me to talk. I was supposed to work from 4-8 but couldn't talk. Everyone went to the fair but me today instead of Tuesday cause nobody showed up. Life sucks so much. I'm starting to feel discluded from everyone, I'm all alone.
FRIDAY AUGUST 4
Woke up early, too early, and drove down to Grand Rapids for Brian and Abby's wedding. So boring. My dad got me some rum and orange juice, that made things a little better but not much.
SATURDAY AUGUST 5
Went shopping in Grand Rapids, very depressing. Nothing fits me, everything looks so fucked up because of my messed up hips, they're too wide. I found one pair of pants for school. Fuck it, I hate my body, but I have to live with it so fuck it! We drove all the way home. My mom was such a bitch, her comments really hurt me. Finally we got home at 8:30pm. I left right away and went to the fair. I couldn't find anyone for awhile. Then Lee appeared, then Sam and Nikki. Lee and Sammie left then Nikki and I went to McDonald's to eat. When we got back Derek was there. I saw Seth, he hugged me. I remember just wanting to go home and finally, after what seemed to be forever, I did.
SUNDAY AUGUST 6
I worked from 4 to closing.
MONDAY AUGUST 7
Woke up and worked from 12 to 4. I came home, showered, then came to town with Nikki. We sat in the parking lot behind Hockie's all night talking with Shawn, Jared, Andy, and Jeff. Andy and Jared shared there stories of sodemy in full detail. I had so many blond moments, it's pretty sad. Shawn told me that he had to take a piss, then asked me which car was mine. I pointed it out to him. He waddled over to it and acted like he was pissing on it. We were all discussing dieing having sex. Nik thought it would be great. Shawn got a whole story going, the police would question you, you'd go to jail, meet Bubba Jones, ask for some metal panties, get denied them and fucked in the ass. It was great. It was weird though. He was actually close to me. When we walked he was next to me. He used to always stay away it seemed. Maybe it's just wishful thinking. Anyways, today was great. Oh yeah, and for another blond moment of mine: I was commenting on how much everyone was spitting all over the ground. Nik said she had her one little spitting spot. Then I said that I didn't spit! So now I guess I swallow! Well acording to my blondness at not catching that one.
TUESDAY AUGUST 8
Got Amanda in town. We drove around for a while, nobody was in town. We came out to my house. I drove her home and went to work for 4 until closing. Nik got a job at Wendy's too, I'm so happy for her.
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 9
Went to town with Nik. Nobody was really there. About an hour before work Derek showed up. We sat and talked. Nik's mom picked her up at Wendy's. I worked from 4 to closing.
THURSDAY AUGUST 10
Woke up early and got my braces off finally after 3 &1/4 years!!! So happy. I just want to smile at Shawn now. I worked 4 to 8. I picked up Sam and her friend, then Mike. Mike and I got baked at the Sandies. About half an hour later Sam forced me to drive her home even though I was so fucked up. It was so bad, I can't remember anything. I know that I started freaking out because my body kept falling asleep(it went numb). I think that I started bawling. It was so fucked up. Massive strobe light effect. It would have been great if we were at my house. I don't like smoking weed unless I'm home, at Nessa's, or at Lee's, probably be fine aas long as I can be at someone's house to lay down or sleep.
FRIDAY AUGUST 11
I talked to Nessa on the phone, she had just gotten back from Cidar Point. I then had to work from 4 to closing again.
SATURDAY AUGUST 12
Nikki's 16th. b-day party. It was great. I talked with a lot of people who I love. Mike and I have really been bonding lately. It's great. Amanda and I got into a fight. She is just trying to fuck everyone over before she leaves in a week, it is really pissing me off. I just want to forget her. Nik got to see Danny agin. That is her ex from the past two summers. Derek and Mike left early to party out at Steve's house. Nikki's cousin's, Nik, Sam, Lee, Nessa, and I all broke into a keg and got drunk. It weas great. We partied late. I now actually like beer better than the other shit, after the first it tastes like water. It's great! Lee stayed the night in the tent with us. I slept next to him. I always feel so much safer and not alone nere him. I still miss him, were getting back to our old friendship once again though.
SUNDAY AUGUST 13
I didn't even wake up with a hang over, how sweet! Beer Rules!!! Amanda is a bitch. She is just fucking everyone over and leaving it behind. I feel the worst for Kevin though. I feel the need to get close to him, he's my other half. Let's get in touch with the man within me! Hehehe. Well now... I poored my heart out to Sammie about all of my feelings for Shawn. I cried so much today, so emotional, damn this time of the month. I feel like shit. Everyone sucks. Everyone will fuck with your head, everyone. Not one person you meet will not fuck you over at some point in your life. So I hate everyone/people suck. Oh yeah, I almost forgot that today was Amanda's "surprise" going away/birthday party. I went but kept leaving then coming back. It rained there, very hard. BITCH. ***I'm sorry Amanda, if you read this, but I did nothing to you, you blew everything out of proportion when I told you that I wanted to spend more time with you before you left. So if you want to be stuck in your ways and be pissed at me then fine. But just remember, no matter how hard you try to forget all of us here you won't be able to, because eventually you will come back. Now it's your decision if you want to come back to friends or come back to a bunch of people who are faking smiles, you know smile and bare it. I love you so much but want I have found in you is someone who can't hold on to anything for too long, it gets old and worn out, not useful to you, sorry that I'm so useless. Good-bye Amanda, I'll miss that show of yours.***
MONDAY AUGUST 14
Went to town with Nessa. We both had to work for 4. Before work we sat at the coffee shop and talked. Shawn was there. At first he was sitting with some girls, then he sat in a booth near mine facing me. Nessa left to get money from my car and yet I didn't talk to him. I kept talking about how Nikki and I were going to work together on Wednesday so that maybe he'd show up. I really want him. That was the first day he saw me with my braces off. I gave him the hugest smile, he smiled back at me. He kept staring at me the entire time we were there(or was I halucinating?). I took Nessa to work then went to work myself. I closed with Seth, Steph, and John. I flirted so badly with John. I think that I'm really starting to like him too. He's just so much fun. I can basically say anything in his presence and not feel like an ass. I stayed until 12:30.
TUESDAY AUGUST 15
Got up early and went to Saginaw with my mom. I got so much school stuff, I'm so happy, I thought that I'd never find anything. When I got home I called Nikki and talked for hours, an over-tired/goffy chat. We made plans for the next day.
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 16
Got up way too early to go and pick up my retainer and schedule. I can't believe that there is only one week left of summer! That really sucks. I came home and slept some more. Nik and I went to town and got her schedule, we have no classes together. We then went to the coffee shop and sat for awhile. I left her there when I went to work for 4. All of the girls boyfriends were coming in, I kept thinking to myself about how great it would be if Shawn came in since I hadn't seen him that day. I was sweeping front and saw some people come in. As I walked up I was so surprised to see Shawn! Seth took the order and made me do sandwitches, I fucked up and had to do them over. Seth sat and talked with the lady, her son, and Shawn while I had to mop front with Shawn watching me. I was so much blushing, it sucked! I want that boy so bad. He looked so great, I think the best I've ever seen him. He got his hair trimmed, wore a red plad shirt, white undershirt, and jeans. He's so adorable! And just as I was going back Seth has to say something stupid to me, "You're doing a GREAT job, Amber!" in his stupid fucking flirty voice! I went back and asked John if I was massively blushing. He said a little and then kept asking me why, I wouldn't tell him that his competition was in the building. They finally left after what seemed to be an eternity for me. Now is it just a quincidence that I had stressed that Nik and I were working today and he showed up, he never comes to Wendy's, never has come there except at 11:30 about a week before when I told Derek and him to go there? Or maybe that's just wishful thinking also? After work I met Nik at the coffee shop. We sat around talking with a bunch of people. Shawn came in with that one boy from before. Lee and James showed up. We all sat and talked with Jeff, a hottie that Nik and I used to call Viagra Dude because on the first day of school our freshman year he was pretending to sell Viagra at an assembly. I had to drive Nik home and be home myself by 11pm, I got home at 11:20, of course. Our kitten, Stinky, ran away earlier that day, he was still gone, so mom and I walk up the road looking for him. He's still missing.
THURSDAY AUGUST 17
Today I woke up and cried, I mean bawled for hours. I have no idea why either, I know that it was about Shawn though. But why cry about him? I think that I'm just really confused. I called Nessa. I cried to her. I then showered and went to town with her. We sat at the coffee shop alone for awhile sharing raspberry/vanilla cappucinno and kewi/lime sprite. We left to go to K-Mart to get some potato soup but saw Duva at the skate park and turned around to talk to him. When I pulled in I didn't see Shawn on the curb putting his skates on and almost hit him. Well not really but I was pretty shocked to see him there. Nessa and I talked to Duva while he put plastic wrap on his tatoo so he could skate. He left to the ramps and Nessa and I sat on the trunk of my car. Whenever I looked at Shawn he was looking in my direction then quickly turned away. I hope he was looking at me, I want that boy so badly. Duva, Nessa, and I stood around talking all afternoon until I had to go to work. We all went there. Nik and I worked together for the first time. I had to train her. She is being trained for sandwitches and front. It made time go by so much quicker. She left an hour before me. They came back at 9pm and I sat with them eating. I then came home and got on the internet. Stinky is still missing. I guess that my mom sat around all day crying, that really sucks. Well I'm all typed out for now. We'll have to see how the rest of the summer goes, all 5 days of it!!! FUCK!!!
FRIDAY AUGUST 18
I great day. I woke up late, got ready, then went to town with Nikki. Right when we got to town we drove behind the coffee shop. The guys were back there pulling old clothes out of the dumpster! Jared wore a turtle neck that was neon colors. Dubie put on a coat with high shoulder pads and sleves way too short. It was so great! We all just stood around and talked for a while. Nikki and I waited around until 10:00 for Lee, Sam, and Nessa. We all went out to Nikki's to get drunk. I had the best buzz ever. One bottle of Bunne's Farm and a shot of Vodka. I ended up sobbing my heart out to Lee, the hardest I've ever cried in my life. He held my hand and made me feel so much better. God, I love my friends so much. I really need them. Nessa threw up, basically rolled in it! Hehehe... Oh yeah, before we went out to Nik's we drove through Wendy's. John was working drive through. Jared's van pulled up with the guys inside. John handed Nikki and me the headset, Nikki bitched at them, it was great!
SATURDAY AUGUST 19
Woke up, no hang over! We all layed around all morning until we decided to leave to shower and go to town. Nikki and I were supposed to go out to Steve's house with Derek put Derek got pissy and we left. We just stood in town until we decided to go to work to eat. Nik and I worked for an hour. We made bread sticks. John was working, I flirted with him a little. We left at 11:00pm. Derek was outside waiting for Nikki. I drove her home then drove myself home.
SUNDAY AUGUST 20
Talked to Kevin, we made plans for tomarrow. I picked Samantha up at 6:00 to go to town. We walked past the coffee shop then went in. Jess ran up to us. We all talked and giggled very loudly. I missed her so much, I love my loud Jessie. Shawn was there. I still want that boy so badly. Sam took out my camera, we all took pictures of eachother. Shawn refused to get a picture taken, Sam persisted and just made him really pissed off. I gave everyone Tarot readings. Jess and Dubie's said that they were going to fuck... we'll see what becomes of that. At one point all of the guys were in a both. I sat down behind Shawn, all of the girls surrounded their table. Shawn asked Sam if I was staring at him. I wonder why? Sammie stayed the night at my house. We stayed up talking, she tried convincing me of so much stuff. I have no idea who to believe, oh well, I'll stay undecided for now.
MONDAY AUGUST 21
Went to town for the afternoon. We just drove around, Nessa, Sam, and I. We visited Jess when she was baby-sitting. Sam stayed with her, they partied at Jared's house. I drove Nessa to work then went to work myself. I massively hit on John the entire time. I kept trying to get him to band my head on the wall. Finally he tried, I squirmed around. Nessa came in and sat while I finished my stuff up. She watched our little show. Once I punched out we went out back to fight, me and John. We ended up talking and he asked me if I wanted to hand out some time. We gave him Nessa's #. We went back to her house and watched Whatever It Takes. John called in the middle of it. We talked for almost and hour. We set plans for me to pick him up at 1:30 the next day. I watched the last half of the movie again once we said good-night.
TUESDAY AUGUST 22
THE LAST DAY OF SUMMER VACATION!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! Well today was great. I got up, went home, and showered. At 1:30 I went and got John then Nessa. We went to town, first to the bank, then to drop off the movie, and then off to the mall. We ran into Mike and Nikki seperately there. We all talked for a while. At 2:30 we went to Chris's house. There we all smoked a little, I was so hesitant, barely did anything. I drove Nessa to work, then took John with me to work. He gave me his phone number(which I lost, oops). Well, I can get it from the phone book. He came back and worked later. I drove him home at 10:30, we talked a lot, listening to the last 4 songs on 3EB's 1st. CD, my tradition on the last night of summer. I dropped him off then went home to bed. What a great way to end a great summer.