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10. You've got enough Prozac in your purse to tranquilize King Kong.
9. You really lose it whenever someone says "Good morning".
8. You spend more time in bed than a hooker at a Shriners convention.
7. You keep your house so dark that mushrooms are growing in the carpet.
6. Given a choice, you'd have no preference between sex and a root canal.
5. On a really bad day, you wouldn't come to the door even if it was Publisher's Clearing House.
4. You list Dr. Kevorkian as a character reference.
3. Alcohol gives you strength and food settles your nerves.
2. Your hands shake so badly that you can brush your teeth without any voluntary movement.
And the number one sign that you may be suffering from depression is...
1. You've cried so much that your contact lenses have rusted to your eyeballs.
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