Site hosted by Build your free website today!

The Dream

Fear may get people's attention, but for motivating any sustained effort I'd choose hope. Imagine...

You're finally together, a matched pair. This is what you've dreamed of, worked for. You're half drunk with excited feelings. Finally somebody understands you, listens to you, cares for you. It fells great when you kiss, better when you caress. And what everything leads to - the summit of feeling, of body-desir and soul bonding - is sex with somebody you love.

But I'd like to ask: Since peopl so often wake up from the dream in the morning with a headache and feelings of guilt, is hope enough? Suppose you dream bigger.

Suppose you dream about the conditions. Imagine total privacy. All alone with nobody to disturb your lovemaking. Add a kitchn stocked with food in case you're hungry, a living room to sprawl in. Why not shoot for the moon? A whole, unoccupied house - yours for making love in all day and all night.

Suppose you dream, not of just one night, not of just a weekend with your parents away, but of a thousand nights. Suppose you insist on an opportunity for ecstasy every night for 10 straight years. Or more. Make it 30. There is n going home. Ever. You wake up together in the same bed you went to sleep in night after night after night.

Dream on. Suppose there is no fear. No possibility of being caught unhappily pregnant. No possibility of disease.

But so far this dream is one-sided - the physical. The best loving depends on who you're with, no just how. So imagine you've found the best lover in the world. Dream for all you're worth.

What qualities do you want in that special person? Who do you want?

Not a movie star, but a real flesh and blood individual who talks to you, goes on walks with you, laughs with you, works alongside you. Somebody you love to look at. Sombody you love being with because you fel relaxed and have such fun. Somebody who brings out the best in you. Somebody who shares your sense of what's important. Somebody you want to talk with forever. Somebody you want to talk to forever. Somebody you admire who has integrity and tenderness. Somebody who loves you - and you trust with your life.

To find somebody who suits you like that, you'll have to do some fancy choosing. Imagine you have. After much thought you've chosen each other for this experiment in loving. There's no doubt about it. It doesn't get any better than this!

You come with total commitment to love each other, to never let go. You don't have to be jealous, or insecure, or worry about what the other one is thinking because you know. This person loves you without reservation and will never leave you. This person has decided to choose you forever and knows how to keep a pledge.

The conditions are right for this love to keep on growing forever. You have the time. You have the sexual freedom. You can open up to each other totally without fear that if your partner knew that one secret he wouldn't like you. You're able to share our possessions. You're working together now - to make a home, to serve God, to have children. Becoming coworkers draws you together as much as becoming lovers. You work through problems together - how to spend your money, where to spend your vacation - and grow closer. Your love grows deeper.

One more thing. If you could really live this dream, if youfound the perfect person and you both were ready, wouldn't it be ideal to start it with the biggest party you've ever seen? Invite all your friends? Family? Dress up, celebrate? And to make the solemnity of the moment, have a service to praise God and pray for the future of your happiness.

It's quite a dream. It's called marriage - the way God planned it. The most incredible fact is this: Some people do actually get to experience this. It isn't just a dream. It can be reality.

The dream called marriage is the only hope powerful enough to make people wait for sex. It alone puts all the pieces of their sexuality together. It alone is worth waiting for.


If I told you that every married person is living a dream existence, experiencing the total sexual fulfillment God created them for, I'd deserve to be taken away in a straitjacket. Lots of married people are miserable. Lots of them haven't experienced any ecxtasy in years.

Marriage isn't the dream. It's the foundation of the dream. It gives you a chance - your best chance - to live up to your potential for boundless love and ecstatic sex.

While it's true that not all live up to their potential, it's also true that any do.

Marriae sets the conditions or maximum love and maximum sec, but it doesn't guarantee them. That's up to you. Living the dream depends on the quality of yor character. Can you really love another person, evenwhen it hurts? What about the erson you choose? Can he or she love you back the same way?

It takes a lifetime to answer these questions. It takes a lifetime to live the dream. You won't get the chance, though, if you don't meet these basic requirements: commitment for a lifetime, commitment to screificial love, commitment to love one person alone.

By Tim Stafford