02.02.99
There are things that come down the wire that are True Blue. There are tidbits that trickle through that are obvious speculation. Then there are rumors like this, which can only be described as a Borderline falsehood, but which some might Cherish, so we report it anyway.

According to Coming Attractions By Corona, a certain female Lucky Star has acquired the film rights to the SquareSoft game, Parasite Eve, thereby touching them for the very first time. Who's That Girl? Why, it's none other than Madonna.

Believing in love and having something to say about it, Madonna secured the rights away from other interested parties when a bidding war arose. How the Material Girl got involved in this financial fracas, or even what she intends to do with this property, are not mentioned.

Should this rumor be true, it could spell disaster. The Bible ranks locusts and a moon of blood as apocalyptic events equal to Madonna being the lead in a Parasite Eve movie. Hopefully, she'll do the right thing and pass them on to someone who won't make an atomic bomb of a movie with the property.

In a related story, Madonna has ordered her father not to preach, as she has already decided to keep her baby.