Toni Post: Go ahead and take off your blindfold.
Audience Member: Don't do it!
Birdee: People fall in love. They fall right back out. It happens all the time.
Bernice: What's that funny smell?
Birdee: Once upon a time, your momma knew what it meant to shine.
Ramona: Birdee, you take up drinkin'?
Birdee: No, I have not.
Ramona: You mean this is you stone sober? You look just awful.
Birdee: Well, I feel just awful, momma.
Ramona: Well, you look it.
Birdee: Well, I feel it.
Ramona: Well...you look it.
Ramona: Birdee, lock the door. Do you want to be murdered in your bed?
Birdee: (to Bernice, who is eyeing the "Scaredy Cats") Don't worry, sweetheart. If they bite ya, they have \ rubber teeth.
Birdee: (to Bernice) My little burrito baby. Snug as a bug in a rug. You're out of luck if you want to itch your nose.
Ramona: She's doin' a pilot.
Birdee: What's he like?
Ramona: If you don't want people to see you, why'd you go on television?
Birdee: Because momma...I wanted a free make-over, that's all.
Ramona: Well, you got one. Just a different one, that's all.
Ramona: Look at me. My life has no meaning or direction or purpose, and I'm happy.
Ramona: (To Bernice) You're startin' a new life. Anything you wish is possible.
Bernice: Daddy says hi. He says he misses me.
Birdee: I'm sure he does, sweetheart.
Ramona: (to Birdee) Well, maybe you were special. But then again, maybe you were just like the rest of us, except you were riding around on flowers made of toilet paper.
Birdee: You just didn't like Bill.
Ramona: I like all of God's creatures. I just like them better stuffed. And he's one of them.
Justin: Birdee, Birdee, Birdee.
Ramona: Move onto something else, Justin...You smell just delicious, Justin. Are you wearing cologne?
Justin: No, just a little paint thinner with some sweat mixed in.
Ramona: Well, it sure does smell good, doesn't it, Birdee?
(Birdee looks at her mother, dumbfounded.)
Bernice: Back home, we had a pet skunk. Mom named it Justin Matisse. Do you think that's a coincidence? All day, Mom screamed, "You stink Justin Matisse!" Finally, she just picked up a club and killed it.
Ramona: Get the stink blown off of ya.
Birdee: I always hated that saying, momma.
Justin: You look terrible. Been drinkin'??
Birdee: Why does everyone think I've been drinkin'?! Is there a coaster stuck to my butt or somethin'?
Justin: You gotta feel depressed looking like that.
Birdee: Gee, Justin, do you always say what is on your mind or is this just my lucky day?
Justin: I'm doing you a favor by not lying, Birdee.
Birdee: Well Justin, I don't need any favors...I just need...somethin'... (she turns and leaves)
Justin: (under his breath) Is that an invitation??
Justin: She'll cool off. It's gotta be hard carrying around all that hair.
Justin: I was over the moon for you back then, Birdee.
Birdee: I'm breathin'.
Justin: Just listen...
Birdee: (while Birdee and Justin are fishing) It's a good thing we aren't going out for steak, 'cause
I'm pretty rusty at roping a steer.
Justin: Let me see that smile. You got a great smile...don't show it to me now.
Justin: I feel like I'm sixteen again.
(He puts his hand up to Birdee's face and pushes her hair away.)
Birdee: I haven't kissed anybody before Bill.
Bernice: Please don't have a talk with her mother...I'd rather die.
Travis: Don't worry...You will.
Ramona: Travis, Travis, come down here and be a tree.
Bernice: I don't feel so good, Grandma.
Ramona: You're going to school today Rocky.
Birdee: Hey...How was school? Huh? Hey weasel?
Birdee: What happened?
Travis: She lived.
Justin: I wanna dance with ya.
Justin: Dancing is just a conversation between two people. Talk to me.
Birdee: (As Birdee and Justin walk up to Justin's half-built home) It's beautiful.
Justin: It's a door.
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