MR. LONG: THE COUNTRY
RESERVE YOUR CITIZENSHIP TODAY!
Q. What is Mr. Long: The Country and how can I become a citizen?
A. Mr. Long: The Country (not to be confused with Mr. Long Country, Mr. Long's private domain) is a floating pirate community somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. On this makeshift continent, young able-bodied Russian will be admitted as slaves, doing all the horrible tasks nobody else wants to do. Besides the slaves, there will be limited space available in Mr. Long: the Country. If you are not willing to work as a slave, be prepared to pay big money for admission to the greatest nation on Earth. You will live in luxury. Your only problem will be the occasional case of scurvey. On this nation, you will sail around the Earth, doing battle with other pirates and any United States Citizens you may find, and freely worshipping Mr. Long. On Mr. Long: the Country, we are dedicated to our lord and savior Mr. Long and the pursuit of the American pirate's dream. The official diet on Mr. Long: the Country will consist of lard and slave meat. As for the vegans onboard, you'll have to starve.
Q. What exactly is the difference between Mr. Long's Country and Mr. Long: the Country?
A. Mr. Long's country, as cited in the Bible, is Mr. Long's private domain. You may visit, but Mr. Long's Country is not currently accepting new citizens. Although Mr. Long's Country is the superior nation, good luck on getting in. If you are a slave or have the $3 million for the citizenship fee, though, Mr. Long: the Country, the second greatest nation on Earth, is the country for you!
