RULE #2 Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down

RULE #3 Don't cut your hair. Ever!!!

RULE #4 Don't make us guess

RULE #5 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear

RULE #6 Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it

RULE #7 He's never thinking about "The Relationship"

RULE #8 Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

RULE #9 Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period

RULE #10 Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

RULE #11 Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time

RULE #12 Anything you wear is fine. Really

RULE #13 You have enough clothes

RULE #14 You have too many shoes

RULE #15 Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

RULE #16 Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.

RULE #17 Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work

RULE #18 No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

RULE #19 Share the bathroom

RULE #20 Share the closet

RULE #21 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers

RULE #22 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

RULE #23 Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob in the morning

RULE #24 Foreign films are best left to foreigners

RULE #25 Check your oil

RULE #26 Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do

RULE #27 Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived

RULE #28 It is neither your interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

RULE #29 Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days

RULE #30 If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys

RULE #31 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one

RULE #32 Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

RULE #33 Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out

RULE #34 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both

RULE #35 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials

RULE #36 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we

RULE #37 Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at

RULE #38 When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, you saying, "This is our exit," is not strictly necessary

RULE #39 Nothing says 'I love you' quite like a blowjob in the morning