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Welcome to the "Internet" Law Offices of Slimy Things with Legs Legal Services! You have come to our site because, obviously, you want some of our patented expert legal advice. Well, you've come to the right place, my friend. Slimy Things with Legs is a world-renowned legal law firm with legal expertise and knowledge dedicated to serving you - our client!

Unlike many other law firms which suck, Slimy Things with Legs is dedicated not just to the practice of law but to the practice of EXXXXTREME LAW!!!! For you lay people out there, exxxxtreme law is just like regular law except that you wear sunglasses and ride a skateboard and yell "Surge!" as you do it. So that's what we do. And don't think that judges don't sit up and talk notice when our lawyers walk in the courtroom. You have just been counseled...to the EXXXTREME!



What would you do if you saw a skeletal zombie wolf coming to get you? You'd fucking piss yourself, that's what. And that's what our opponents think when they see us coming. Cause we're vicious! Just like a zombie wolf!

The Slimy Things with Legs name is a registered trademark of the Slimy Things with Legs legal foundation. So don't try and steal it, cause we've got intellectual property lawyers, too. Yeah, that's right. Fuckin' IP people will be ON YOUR ASS!! Here's some legal stuff we put in for fun: Everything (C) Larry "Pantywaist" Lemora, esq. Our homeoffice can be reached at: The Cardboard Box Under the Highway, Scrotem, Alabama 60213.