Classic Buffy Quotes

Xander: "Yeah. You know, I kinda had a problem with the math."
Willow: "Uh, which part?"
Xander: "The math. Can you help me out tonight, pleeeease, be my study buddy?"
Willow: "Well, what's in it for me?"
Xander: "A shiny nickel!"
Willow: "Okay. Do you have 'Theories in Trig'? You should check it out."
Xander: "Check it out?"
Willow: "From the libarary? Where the books live."
Xander: "Right, I'm there! See, I wanna change..."

(Buffy is standing alone...)
Kyle: "Oh, look. It's Buffy and all her friends."
Buffy: "That's a witty."
Boy #1: "Do you ever wonder why nobody cool wants to hang out with you?"
Buffy: "Just thankful"

Wendell: "They're not insects. They're arachnids."
Xander: "There from the Middle East?"

Xander: "Oh, c'mon, you can tell us. We're your bosom friends! The friends of your bosom!" (buffy smiles)(NOTE: This is a part of a dream Buffy is having.)

Snyder: "On the other hand, Sheila has never burned down a school building."
Buffy: "W-well, that was never proven. The Fire Marshall said i-it coulda been mice."
Snyder: "Mice"
Buffy: "M-mice that were smoking?"

Buffy: "Yeah! They had tools, flashlights, whole nine yards. What does that mean anyway? 'Whole nine yards'? (Giles begins to pace) Nine yards of what? (whines) Now it's gonna bug me all day. Giles, you're in pace mode. What gives?"

Cordelia: (hops onto a crate to sit) "So, does looking at guns really make girls wanna have sex? That's scary."
Xander: "Yeah, I guess."
Cordelia: "Well does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?"
Xander: "I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex."

Buffy: " 'Cause I'm not well. Uh, I feel all oogy."
Xander: "Increased ooginess. That's a danger signal."

Buffy: "Do you understand that I don't care? It's over. There's not gonna be any swim team."
Coach Marin: "Boy, when they were handin' out school spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did you?"
Buffy: "No. I was in the line for a shred of sanity."
(The coach reaches into the desk behind him and pulls out a Bretta 9mm semi-automatic pistol. He pulls back the hammer and points the gun at Buffy.)
Buffy: "Which you obviously skipped."

Buffy: "What about home schooling, you know it's not just for scary religious people anymore."

Xander: "Buffy and Faith are in the library getting all *sweaty*."
Cordelia: "(corrects him) They're training."
Xander: "(gives her a look) I stand by my phrase."

Gwendolyn: "(looks around) So... this is your home."
Faith: "Yeah. (gestures around the room) The decorator actually just left."
Gwendolyn: "Faith, do you know who the Spartans were? (leans against the dresser)"
Faith: "Wild stab: a bunch of guys from Spart? (sits on the bed)"

Willow: (brightens and stands up) "Buffy! Hey! Did you get your SAT scores?"
Buffy gives her a weak nod.
Xander: "By the look on your face, I'm guessing you and I are gonna be manning the drive-through window side by side."