Dr. Seuss meets JC & Lamb's conversation

"Fertilized Eggs & Spam"
Goes to "Green Eggs & Ham

In this case, Lamb's Sam, and JC is the dude who is disinterested. Lamb is a meat, but a bad meat. It disobeys Mary quite often, so Lamb, in this story, is a teenybopper JC fan that wants to do JC bad (who doesn't).
Setting: Backstage right before an *N Sync concert. *N Sync, of course are wearing the same fricken shirts. JC is on his way to the bathroom..Here we goo...

Lamb: I am Lamb
Lamb I am

JC: That Lamb-I-am
That Lamb-I-am
I do not like that Lamb-I-am

Lamb: Do you like Fertilized eggs and Spam?

JC: I do not like them,
Lamb-I-am.
I do not like
Fertilized Eggs and Spam

Lamb: Would you do me here or there ?

JC: I would not do you
here or there.
I would not do you anywhere.
I do no like Fertilized eggs and Spam.
I do not like them Lamb-I-am

Lamb: Would you do me in a pool?
Would you do me by a mule?

JC: I would not do you in a pool.
I would not do you by a mule.
I would not do you here or there.
I would not do you anywhere.
I do not like Fertilized eggs and Spam.
I do not like them Lamb-I-am.

Lamb: Would you do me in a box?
Would you do me as a fox?

JC: Not in a box. Not as a fox
Not in a pool. Not by a mule.
I would not do you here or there.
I would not do you anywhere.
I do not like Fertilized eggs and Spam.
I do not like them Lamb-I-am.

Lamb:Would you, Could you
in a car?
Do me! Do me!
I'm not far.

JC: I would not, could not
in a car.

Lamb: You will do me
You shall see
You will do me
under a tree

JC: I would not, could not
under a tree.
Not in a car
I need to pee.
Not in a box. Not as a fox
Not in a pool. Not by a mule.
I would not do you here or there.
I would not do you anywhere.
I do not like Fertilized eggs and Spam.
I do not like them Lamb-I-am.

Lamb: A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you
on a train?

JC: Not on a train! Not under a tree!
Not in a car! Lamb! Let me pee!
I would not could not in a box
I would not could not as a fox.
I would not could not in a pool
I would not could not by a mule
I would not do you here or there.
I would not do you anywhere.
I do not like Fertilized Eggs and Spam,
I do not like you Lamb-I-am.

They enter the dark, backstage area

Lamb:Say! In the dark?
Here in the dark?
Would you, could you, in the dark?

JC: I would not, could not, in the dark.

Lamb:Would you could you
in the rain?

JC: I would not, could not in the rain
Not in the dark. NOt on a train.
Not in a car. Not under a tree.
I would not do you, Lamb, you see.
Not in a pool. NOt in a box.
Not by a mule. Not as a fox.
I would not do you here or there.
I would not do you anywhere.

Lamb: You do not like Fertilized eggs and Spam?

JC: I do not like them Lamb-I-am.

Lamb: Could you, would you
on a float?

JC: I could not, would not
on a float.

Lamb: Would you, could you
on a boat?

JC: I could not, would not on a boat.
I will not do you on a float.
I will not do you in the rain.
I will not do you on a train.
Not in the dark. Not under a tree.
You let me pee!
I would not do you in a box.
I would not do you as a fox.
I will not do you in a pool.
I will not do you in a mule.
I would not do you here or there.
I would not do you anywhere.
I do not like Fertilized eggs & Spam.
I do not like them, Lamb-I-am.

JC runs away to the bathroom in the dressing room to pee. Joey is in the Dressing room, listening to Justin's ebonics tape. He takes off his headphones. Lamb comes in and doesn't recognize that Joey isn't JC. Teenys these days...

Lamb: You would not do me
so you say.
Do me! Do me!
And you may.
Do me, and you will, I say.

Joey: Ay, yo, you don't gots tah tell me twice.

Joey takes Lamb backstage to, ya know..... Suddenly, JC comes out blindfolded in boxers because he realizes that the more chickes he does, the more he'll become the favorite.

JC: Say! I do like Fertilized eggs and Spam.
I do! I'll do you, Lamb-I-am.
I would do you in a boat.
I would do you on a boat.
I would do you in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And under a tree.
You sound so good, so good, you see!
So, I'll do you in a box.
I'll do you as a fox.
I'll do you in a pool.
I'll do you by a mule.
I would do you here or there.
Say! I would do you anywhere!
I do so like
Fertilized Eggs and Spam.
Do me! Do me!
Lamb-I-am!

JC takes off his blindfold only to see Joey's brother, Steven, taping him from the door.

JC: Hey, where'd Lamb-I-am go?

Steve: (turns off tape) Who?

JC: This chick I was supposed to do.

Stever: (looks up and down at JC) I can see that.

JC: (looks at self, covers boobs) Ahh! (runs to the bathroom)

Steve: This is great footage of you, JC. Wait 'till I get this to the press. You'll be baned from *N Sync and *poof* I'll be the newest member. Yes, I can see it all now. BUT..it'll crash all your dreams of being the favorite member and humiliate you completely so that you have to re-shape your face and erase yourself from the plante to be an outkast so no one can recognize you, but OH WELL! I get to be in *N Sync. YESS!

JC: (comes out dressed out of the bathroom with a knife) You do that, and *poof* I'll kill you!

Steve: (drops camera and runs) HOLY CRAP. JOEY! SAVE ME!

JC runs toward Steve, but stops at the door

Backstage-

Joey: (in a robe, smirking widely. The teeny is gone, and he is smoking a cuban cigar.) Yeah?

Steve: JC's trying to kill me!

Joey: This calls for (undo's robe, reveals Superman undies with a big "S" in the crotch area) SUPER JOEY! (runs toward dressing room)

- the rest*N Sync passes by and sees Joey.

Chris: Ahh, its an elephant!

Justin: NO, it's Lou Pearlman.

Lancth: IT'S SUPERJOEY!

Chris: (realizes it was Joey) How'd you know that?

Lancth: Because he's slower than a speeding turtle. Plus, I'd recognize those undies anyday.

Chris and Justin leave as Lance daydreams..

-In the dressing room...

JC: (opens camera) Hey, there's no film!

Joey: (comes in, and sees JC) *breathes* YOU!

JC: Steve didn't even tape me. Ha! What a fag. (throws knife out the window)

-Down there..

Lamb: I can't believe I just did JC! (knife hits her head) AH-- (dies)

-Up there

Steve: Did you hear something?

Joey: (fans ass) Wasn't me.

JC: You know you didn't tape me, right? There was no film in your camera.

Steve: (acts confused) Huh? Oh yeah! I tried to pull a prank on you. I saw you getting ready to do the 'humpty hump' so I got my camera and pretended to tape you to see how you reacted. Like always, YOU NEVER GET ANY JOKES.

JC: Oh, heh. *cough* Anyways, we've got a show to do, so, yeah.

-Joey and JC leave.

Steve: (smirks widely. Runs to trash can, pulls out small tape) First, I'll take over *N Sync. Then, THE UNIVERSE! MWAHAHAHHAH!

The End

Dr. Seuss? I need help...