Shakespear monkeys
"If an infinite number of monkeys typed at an infinite number of computers for an infinite length of time, they'd produce a paper which would get a B+ at Harvard." -meI'm looking for an infinite number of monkeys and an infinite number of
1.Monkeys will get bored, and won't type one character at a time. Instead, you'll get stuff like:
X-IO432, .CXZX
CZV ;ASskjzx c
[\W.,/KJ23\
X C. /ZX-=1
'C/XC0-WQ \WE
?VC VB45A432we
?D;[2e \[]c?x ;mpioqw\4352?GH';l[bvx-=trw123?!
';\]zx[ awre 3241;1-=sd?>Fg;lk230-=AS
';ZX C.,/WEQ[]
SDKLJ;FJ;KL32490CD,. AS/
"}aSDKLRE.'
;C KJQW
\rds;l'4iopczx/.,zx;"
|sfd[wA,CVZX[]XVC[PSO0-XCZ,.VSD09-=123\
SA
?:vzc;odssa\q [\]vc,.mldf;':i690-hgfdc
\';asdl];aS
Z
(I typed that with my knuckles).
2.As you can see in the above example, knuckle-typing leads to serious problems, including:1.high frequency of the semi-colon and other punctuation
2.Rather than single capital letters followed by strings of lower case letters, you wind up with strings of capital letters, due to the caps-lock key.
3.Extremely redundant. In particular, notice the digraph frequencies (count the number of times you see "zx", "jk", "23" and "kl". Notice also how frequently a line begins with ' " ? or / due to their proximity to the return key.)
4.A typical paper includes only one carriage return per paragraph. It looks like I'm averaging about one per 15 letters in the above.
3.Various other problems:1.Monkeys don't know how to adjust fonts and margins to make the paper fit into the right number of pages.
2.Monkeys might have a tendency to throw feces at the computer.
3.The sun is scheduled to burn out within a few billion years, which will put an end to the monkey typists.
4.Your paper is probably due before then anyway.
-- Dave Fergemann
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best of times it was the wor48970dkzxiopx c0oie809rdcokpjxz0-9izx ck;lj;xz
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Excellent premise. However, speaking as the voice of dissent, I must disagree like it ain't NOBODY'S BIDNESS. Given the unproven (and yet strangely satisfying in an unwholesome way) theory of progressive evolution that, with time, man evolved from primate, an infinite number of monkeys, given sufficient time, say, forty years, most likely will evolve to at least the writing capacity of David Hasselhoff or Dan Rather. This is proven in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Mathematical Theorums..."Any equation, so expressly stated, containing at least one variable of proportions incapable of measurement (viz. "infinite") will have an answer that is infinitely unlikely."
So, just having an infinite number of monkeys will suffice. Throw them in a rompus room with a standard Amiga Word Processor (that's good enough for em) and give 'em a couple of seconds, and according the law of probabilities governing anything of an infinite amount, the monkeys will have done everything infinitely possible in just a few seconds. Anything from writing Harvard papers to writing the script for Teenage Werewolf (which couldn't have taken more than an hour with one writer anyway).
Give me an infinite number of monkeys any day. One of 'em is bound to be the next Shakespeare.
love and kisses,
boopsie.BACK TO:
Email: dawbie@usa.net
