(ha if you opened this, I could be downloading it onto your harddrive :-)
BADTIMES VIRUS WARNING!!!
(Just for those who may not know, for quite a while there have been rumors of an e-mail virus "goodtimes", but it is next to impossible to catch an e-mail virus. Paranoid people her rumors about the goodtimes virus and foreward annoying warning messages to everyone they know)
WARNING, VIRUS ALERT...
If you see a message on the boards with a subject line of "Badtimes,"
delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous
virus yet.
It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble
any disks that are even close to your computer .
It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your
ice cream
melts and milk curdles.
It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your
ATM
access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field
harmonics
to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.
It will program your phone autodial to call only your mother's number.
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere
with
your car radio so that you hear 1940's hits and static while stuck in
traffic.
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine,
all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and
billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead,
such is the power of "Badtimes;" it reaches out beyond the grave to
sully those things we hold most dear.
It will rewrite your back-up files, changing all your active verbs to
passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which
grossly change the interpretation of key sentences.
"Badtimes" will give you Dutch Elm disease.
It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in
dangerously close to a full bathtub.
It will wantonly remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and
pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole.
"Badtimes" is an evil virus conceived by evil people. It is also a
rather
interesting shade of mauve.
These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
