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Lyrics... Trying Too Hard You need somebody to be with to feel complete. So you look for what you need in everyone you meet. Loneliness fuels your insecurities, and you think "Maybe something's wrong with me..." Take a little time to think about something besides trying to find somebody to love. Now the days are gone when you didn't care What people thought of you, but now you're keenly aware. 'Cuz if you hide your flaws and play your cards right, maybe you'll find someone to be with at the show tonight. How could things have gotten so bad? You're looking for someone to remind you of what you once had. Now you've lost your identity But that's alright. Convince yourself that anyone you find Is just right. Summertime You left sometime ago - and now I just don't know. Bur for right now, I know there ain't no way And it seems to me that you seem to be A million miles away. What can I do? I need to be with you There's so much I've been meanin' to say And I can't see why we have to be A million miles away. I had a dream last night - everything seemed alright You weren't so far away Sunshine in your eyes - makes me wonder why I have to wake up alone another day. And this lonliness just makes me feel depressed But thoughts of a smilin' face Assures me that there is someplace That I can run to - that I can be with you I can see it in my mind So it's back up to Mendo one more time. And I'll be back in the summertime With a handfull of flowers and a bottle of cheap wine. In the summer time. And I know just where to find you at And when I do I ain't comin' back, no So long as you're by my side. Caught up In the city my mind's a mess. No room to think, too fucking stressed. It's hard to stop when you're obsessed. Careful what I say, everyone's So quick to judge me. This kind of support isn't doing much for me. I need a chance to think straight. Take some time to contemplate all the questions in my head. Sometimes I get so caught up I need to stop before I lose touch and let my chances pass me by... Without feelings compromised. Without feeling so confined. With the city far behind. Now I've left it all behind. At least I've got my peace of mind. I always knew I'd have to leave some day. In the distance I can see the cars pass, And garbage + broken glass trail out into the bay. Thinking about what I want to do with no one to tell me dreams can't come true. I know they never will if I don't try. Sometimes I get so caught up I need to stop before I lose touch and let my chances pass me by... Left Outside Again Walking in the shadows of The buildings in the city Through reflective windows I Can't see anybody. The businessmen wear sunglasses To cover up their eyes It seems like I'm the only face In a sea of suits and ties. Left outside again On the outside looking at the world Wondering "Where do I fit in?" Where do I fit in? Not in somebody else's ideas Of how I should live Not when I've got so much more to give. Everyone hurries to their destinations Making sure to show no sign Of emotions. Inside cars they relax in fake security They drive by And they don't have to deal with me. But now I've found comfort In my isolation Made the best out of a bad situation Found a few friends who feel The same way. We were outcasts in their world But we're building our own world today. Safely Wasting Away I am just a parasite - a rancid creature of the night- with eyes that never see the light Of day. Papers blow over empty streets- People inside houses I'll never meet are Feeling safe and safely wasting away. They Are all inside asleep - living love that they Can't keep - speaking words that they could Never say. Dreams of learning how they might Make amends and set things right- are Conveniently forgotten the next day... Safely wasting away. Wake Up Wake up in the morning, smoke that cigarette - yum! Wake up in the morning, drink that cup of coffee - yum! Turn on early morning news, stories about children addicted to marijuana. Oh no! Got to get to work! Oh, my God! Oh, no! I gotta get my fix, I'm a junkie! Don't want to live in the world of a straight man. Don't want to live in the world of a junkie man. Don't want to live with a needle in my arm. Don't want to have to piss in a can. Why can't they realize everyone's addicted to something? T.V., drugs, or medicine. Love or hate attention. A choice made only by yourself. Nor for you by anyone else. Everyone's got something to hide, But it's okay as long as you feel love inside! Pick up the Pieces Look at you so scared to grow up - and you Know that I'm scared too - but I know I've Got to move on 'cuz I can't stay stagnant Like you. So I'll try to pick up the pieces And learn from mistakes in the past. Aren't you sick of hiding from your future, Living every day like it's your last? And you say your life's fucked up, you've got Nothing but bad luck - you're sick of crying And sick of trying and you're ready to give up. You see your problems all put together Pointing at you like a gun. But things look Better if you separate them and deal with Them one by one... If you want to quit, and quit forever, then Get the pain over with fast. But if you Want to play the game Don't play the game Half-assed. Now that it's all in front of You, you're still just looking down. Why don't You get your shit together? You've come This far, why give up now? RDC She told me she'd rather be lonely, something About living with pain. She was tired of Losing, never gaining. Love once fun was Now just draining. "Love is forever" is just another promise you'll Break. Those empty words that came too Late mean nothing now. And memories just Make me weak and make me wait. I guess Nothing lasts forever. I gotta go far away To spend some time, clear my head and get You off of my mind... We are lonely, we are only looking for a place To call our own. We are looking for a sign, Looking for a clue - Looking for some meaning To the things we do. RDC, a place to stay, looking through the rafters At a sky so grey. A quiet empty place to go Where blood ran fast but time moved slow. RDC, a place where we set our inhibitions free A secret place to hide away, but RDC is gone today... Now it's just rubble. Another addition to the blank scenery. Construction We've been blessed with this planet that Makes us look so inferior. But there was no Strict order here so it made us feel unsure. And someone thought maybe if the planet Could be paved - and changed everything so Life was easier, then we would not feel Afraid... And this fear that springs from nowhere Accelerates itself in our own minds. It Begins to take control to the point that we Find that we feel so helpless - that we Feel so far down this hole. And it seems That the only way out is to somehow gain Control. So we lay down our rules and we Begin our construction. With our invented Authority we begin our destruction... Started thousands of years ago and now There's no escaping - concrete and steel Are everywhere so we close our eye... I'm not afraid to stop. Closed Doors, Closed Minds Why do words like "love" and actions of affection Get taken as a threat or promise of devotion Instead of just accepted for the beauty that they have? When you tell someone that you love them They act like you're taking away all their freedom But it's giving, it's not taking away. Love and friendship don't restrict and bind Those chains are only in your mind It doesn't have to be that way. People act like it's something to be ashamed of To lock away or hide behind closed doors This kind of secrecy only breeds social scheming, Gossip, lies, and misunderstanding It doesn't seem that appealing to me. Why do words like "love" and actions of affection Get taken as a threat or promise of devotion Instead of just accepted for the beauty that they have? Why bleed all the meaning out of emotions With all kinds of weird connotations? Words will fuck us up enough by themselves. Pretty Mess I can't take you home with me Too bad 'cuz it's so hard to be In love with no place to go. You've got no home except this place you come Surviving selling drugs doesn't seem so fun But you're still so carefree. In the cold dark night we can hide. On the fire escape while the junkies inside Worry about their next fix. Chewing gum and holding hands My friends would never understand Why I fell for you... Such a pretty mess, you ripped the dress The dress you borrowed Drowning in your sorrows outside the club. In the cold dark night we can hide. On the fire escape while the junkies inside Worry about their next fix. Chewing gum and holding hands My friends would never understand Why I fell for you... Innocent and playful, you remind me Of a little child And all I ask is that you, you find me Once in a while Once in a while... Can you feel that? Sitting in my room, I've got nothing to do So I waste my time, and I fuck up my mind She said "Can you feel that? It's a baby." She said "Little baby girl, and it's your child." It's better than t.v., and it's almost as free Just one very small word One hit and all my problems are cured She said "It's a baby" "Can you feel that?" Along the Way It was "us" and "them" we thought And they had all been strictly taught Just how to look and what to say We used to look at them and laugh Pretending we were so detached We used to put them on display. You were off being a recluse Joining hands to tie the noose You weren't sure just what to do Things were getting really hectic I was too distant to detect it I hope you knew that I'd get back to you. Then the lines were not as clear And I began to really fear 'cuz it got hard to just get by I felt badly out of place And took some time to get some space And try some things I hadn't tried. Somehow we both pulled together Hoping that things would get better Yeah, there were some casualties Along the way But here we are, a few years older I'm no convict, and you're no soldier Smile 'cuz we made it to this day. Free Will All my life I've been taught how to think And feel. Had preconceived ideas before Experiencing anything for real. My parents, Schools, and peers made up my mind. but now It's time to stop and look around and see what I really find... Question everything I've accepted without Thinking. Make sure I have a basis for what I believe in. How can you make a real decision choosing From a set of solutions that you never really Questioned at all? Let me try to explain as Straightforward as I can my way of thinking For breaking down mental walls: Drop self-imposed limitations that restrict Your choice in situations and you can figure Out what you really want to do. Take into Consideration the affect of your actions on Those around you... Question everything you've accepted without Thinking. Make sure you have a basis for What you believe in. (Yes, everything) Fucked up Kid You're just a fucked up kid and no one ever Gives you a break, just a fucked up kid but How much more can you take of the constant Rejection looking for love and affection. But no one will look at you - laughed at by Your peers when you tell them your ideas, They're just taking out their insecurities On you... You're just a fucked up kid and no one ever Gives you a break, just a fucked up kid but How much more can you take of the day to day Frustration filling out job applications- But no one will hire you. It's pretty hard To survive when no one knows that you're Alive. Think no one cares about you, But I do...  a bit of the lyric book for duct tape soup 
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