Marcella's Tale
and that was that...I've never spoken to her since...
How did the band actually end, then? Well, in September of 1992, I came back home to L.A. As the tour was called off, I decided to spend my time writing some more songs for my upcoming solo album. Siobhan always knew that I wanted to do a solo album. In fact the understanding was that after "Hormonally Yours" was out and we did all the promo for it, she would take a break and be with her family and I would do a solo record. After that we would do another Shakespear record. But what happened was, I came back to London in February of 1993 to go to the Brit awards which is equivalent to the American Grammy's. We were nominated for best video of the year, which we won, but Siobhan did not attend.
I went back to L.A. to write some more and finally when all the songs were written and we decided to work with Chris Thomas as the producer, I came back to London to meet with him, London records, and also to attend another awards ceremony. It was the Ivor Novello awards, which is a kind of publishers award and is very prestigious. We were nominated for best contemporary collection of songs i.e., best album. We won the award.
Again, Siobhan did not attend, but Dave was there and her publisher was as well. We all came up to the podium to make an acceptance speech. I would be first, and gave my speech. Next Siobhan's publisher read a note from Siobhan that said, "I wish Marcy all the best for the future; All's well that end's well".......Dave said something and we all sat down. I was stunned. No one contacted me before hand to let me know she was ending the band, except on the day of the awards show; right before it started, someone from the record company came running up to me and said, "She's going to do it today, she's going to end it today!"
I couldn't believe it, but I must admit, I had an idea it wouldn't go on forever; but to do it in public was a big surprise. I went back to the table I was sitting at and quietly sobbed for about five minutes. I didn't care who was looking, or what anyone was thinking, or even if they noticed. It was such a release. It was over. It was frightening but it was exciting as well. And I wished her well. I just didn't understand why she couldn't tell me herself. Of course, I thought I'd done something wrong, but what, I had no idea. So, I wrote her a letter, and asked her why she did that. She basically, said I did nothing wrong, she just felt it was time to move on and wished me the best, ect...
One thing I should mention is that at the beginning of Shakespear's Sister, during interviews, Siobhan would be asked if it was a band and her response would always be, it's a collective, always changing evolving, and growing. I guess it was always in her plan to get rid of whoever if she wasn't happy.
Meanwhile, I recorded Jewel, and it came out in January of 1994. "I Believe" was my first single and was a success, it was number 11 on the British charts. It also did quite well in Australia, and a few other countries in Europe and all over the world. I had a few other singles out off the "Jewel" album that did moderately well. Plus I had a single out with Elton John which was included on my album as well as his "Duets for One" album, called "Ain't Nothing Like The Real Thing", a remake of the old Motown classic, which did quite well. Elton was very sweet and generous as well. We went to Paris together to do a show-great fun!!
The following year, 1995, we put out another single, "Perfect World", but it didn't have the support of the record company and did not do well as a result. I decided to stay in London with my family and persevere. I started writing in April and started looking for producers. Mark Saunders seemed very interesting as he was involved with some of the best records I'd heard in a long time, like Tricky, The Cure, Neneh Cherry. So we started working together and got the go ahead from London Records. But in the end, they weren't happy and neither was I so I left London Records for greener pastures. I'm including this as it relates later, to Siobhan and I.
After I left London, I started my own record company with my then manager. We put the record out and were distributed by a major distributor, but there was not enough money or experience involved to make it happen. But during the time I released my first single, "I Hate You Now...", Siobhan released her first single as Shakespear's Sister in four years, called, "I Can Drive". Of course, everyone thought I wrote my song about her which was completely wrong. I hadn't talked to her in four years and whi would I even be writing something like that about *her*? I did not hate her. I felt hurt yet I felt happy to be on my own.
Radio One would not play my single. But other stations across England did, which is why I did a radio tour to promote it. And everywhere I went, Siobhan had just been, promoting her single. And all the deejays were saying things to me like, "Siobhan was just here telling us you had nothing to do with the writing of the songs in Shakespear's Sister", And how acrimonious it all was, ect... In fact, one dj showed me her biography that said Shakespear's Sister was "all Siobhan Fahey, lyrics, music, creativity", to which I was very surprised.
Certainly, Shakespear was Siobhan's concept totally, but to say I was never involved in any of the songwriting is simply not true. It was like I never existed. In fact, a friend of mine recounted a conversation to me that he'd had with Siobhan in which she said, "It never should have happened", meaning my involvement with Shakespear. But it did. And I'm happy it did, as well. It was a great experience for all it's problems, and I really learned alot. I refuse to accept that six years of my life "never should have happened". And I'm proud of it, and I hope someday she will be as well. I wish her peace, love and happiness, and one day I'd like to give her a hug.........xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
forgiveness, forgiveness
even if, even if, you don't love me anymore :-)
copyright Marcella Detroit, 1999
reprinted w/o permission by Melanie Alford, 1999
