Marcella's Tale
Road Fever!
or, the ROCK AND ROLL lifestyle was takin its toll....
One thing I didn't bargain for was that it would be a very sucessful time, but also the most stressful time of my life. That's when all the fighting started. Siobhan hated the fact that "Stay" was a hit and hated me for it, when all I did was sing the song. I was constantly accused of trying to steal Shakespear's Sister away, when all I did was my job. The record company had to intervene a few times to try and smooth things out. I was called ungrateful many times as well. But what was I ungrateful for? Was I so lucky to be so punished for helping, for contributing my time and talents? I don't know. I believe I was a scapegoat for other things that were going on in Siobhan's personal life.
People don't realize how hard you have to work to make a record a hit. Our schedule was so grueling. Sometimes two or three tv shows in one day, traveling and getting no sleep is hard enough not to mention having to deal with our very strained relationship. It was so bad that I had to call management to come to a rehearsal one day. She would not even be in the same room with me. When we were in Paris to do the song on a tv show, the vibe was positively hateful and made what was supposed to be a great experience a miserable one. And that went on for months and months.
At that point I was addicted to sleeping pills, I was so stressed out. I remember one night, I took one, it didn't work, I took two, they didn't work, I took three, they didn't work, I took four, and finally I fell asleep at about 5:00 in the morning and I had to be up at 7:00 to catch a plane back to America. I felt like s*** most of the time. I remember one day, looking up at the sky and saying, "God, I hope she is getting support at home, because if she isn't, there will be trouble". All I know is Dave was very magnanimous, so much so that he would come to gigs and say things to me like, "Don't pay any attention to my wife, she doesn't mean anything bad by all this." All I thought was, just get away from me; Don't sympathize with me or you will suffer!! I don't know whether she was getting support at home, all I know is I didn't want her to see Dave commiserating with me in any way, shape or form!!
Looking back at it now, I guess my biggest mistake was buying into the whole thing. Somewhere, I felt like maybe I did something wrong. I'm not saying I was always an angel, but I tried to act with dignity and do the right thing. I've always thought everything is my fault, going back to my childhood, so naturally I bought into the drama when I should have just ignored it.
I could recount many horror stories, but I think that's enough without going into too much gory detail. If you want any more than that it will cost you at least one million bucks.....Where is the Sun newspaper when I need them?!!!
Needless to say, the rest of the touring throughout the year was horrific, with terrible vibes, snide remarks and hatefullness. We did many Top of the Pops and other tv shows in England, did appearances all over Europe where "Stay" was hitting as well. Finally, in the summer of '92 after a show we did in Amsterdam, Siobhan said something kind to me. She said, "Great show tonight, you sang really well". I was shocked and said thank you and we talked for a few seconds and went on our way.
We went back to London to do a few more gigs before I would be going back to L.A. Before the performance of one of our last shows, she came up to me in the dressing room and apoplogized to me. Of course, me being a big gullible buffoon, accepted ber apology, took her in my arms and she started crying and I said, "it's alright, it's alright."
I went back to L.A. The next plan was America. Fourteen dates across the U.S. beginning in late August.
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