| Einstien | Olber |
When did the universe originate?
What existed before the universe?
Is there life on Mars?
Can a thing be two things at once?
Who was that woman I saw you with last night?
This show answers these and other questions. (Expect aobut the woman)
It all strted out with a guy named OLBER.
Olber had tried different types of work
but nothing seamed to work out. He was
a furniture maker, but the chairs broke.
Them he became a painter. Oh, how he could
paint, not one coat but two! Then he tried
fast food and well you have heard of the
"Plague". So, there he was out of luck and
out of work. And they had not yet invented
the Peace Corp. He was nursing a cheap bottle
of wine one night, on the banks of the
river, thinking dark thoughts. When he looked
up in to the night sky and asked the question
out loud..."WHY IS THE SKY DARK?" Well,
a policeman nearby heard the question and
stated, "BECAUSE IT'S NIGHT, FOOL"
And that's how we found out about the
BIG BANG.
See, OLBER had started a PARADOX!!!!
And this was well before Startrek.
The cop went home to dinner and there was
a priest over for dinner and the cop
recounted the question that OLBER had asked.
Then the priest met up wit a professor and
asked the same question. And the professor
asked a philosopher and we were off and running.
Once you ask a philosopher you can't just let
the thing go!
You see, for the sky to be dark, the universe
must not be infinite nor eternal. And because
it is not eternal it must have had a beginning.
And if it had a beginning when and how did it
begin.
These are the types of questions OLBER asked.
Me, I ask if it's going to rain tommorow.
Well, in 1929 Edwin hubble and Milton Humason
found the evidence of an expanding universe
the Einstein had predicted in his theory of
realativity. They called Albert long distance
10-321 and told his they had found evidence.
Albert said he was no where near the Blazer
and they should talk to his lawyer.
Hubble and Humason said they had a 100 inch
reflcetor. Albert said he had a .357.
Well, not making the pont clear, Hubble
decided to go to the LAW. The HUBBLE LAW.
The HUBBLE LAW states that a galaxies velocity
relates to the rate of receding. Or, stated
in Spanish...quando esta , never mind
The further a galaxy is from us, the faster
it is moving away.
A 27" helium ballon will lift 1 pack of
cigarettes but not a glass of beer.
Napkin please.
Now, due to Fluctuations in Temperature
accross the sky we now can determine
COSMIC MICROWAVE BACKgROUND RADIATION.
C M B R
Using this we have developed the COBE
fluctuations which are used in making the
COBE MAPS. With such maps we see that
the universe is expanding as MASS is pulled
into peaks.
Well, that explains a lot, but what about the woman?
Now, some say that before there was an universe
there was a 24 dimensional structure that
collapsed.
Others say there was just energy that got
excited and bumped together enough to stick
and form mass.
Others say it was an act of Congress.
On the other hand, raditation creates particles.
Protons and photons were created out of energy.
they all got together and started making
elements.
The elements began to shoot out all over.
They expanded (see BOYLE).
THEIR EXPANSION DEFINED OUR UNIVERSE(controversial)
Stars were formed. Swirling disks of dust and
gas GRAVITATED around these stars. The dust and
gas pulled together into planets.
The universe cleared of so much dust and gas
as it cooled.(lost energy)
Yes, but who was that woman?
Now, in 1964 these two rdio astronomoers were
knocking back coffee and doing some radio
astronomy when they heard a hssss...hssss.
They tried to adjust their radio but no go.
As they could not get rid of the static,
they named it background noise and blamed it
on the Big Bang.
Robert Dicke of Princeton U. where Ms. Anthony
attends, took these guys seriously and stated
that "Hmm, the spectrum of energy against
cosmic background radiation should follow
a Planckian or black body curve. What oh"
Then, still taking these two guys seriously
Robert Dicke (I wonder what his friends called
him) invented QUANTUM PHYSICS. And we all
know that this invention is responsible for that
great TV series.
Ok, so Dicke has enough smarts to come up
with a spin-off TV series from the QM idea.
Not to be out done, and looking for a show
of his own, George Lamaitre came up with the
HOT BIG BANG theory. Well, as the CMBR has
a temerpature of 2.73ª above absolute 0
the only show he was offered was the Gong SHOW.
and George Gamov came up with the Hot Big Bang
theory in the 1940's anyway and everything got
all confused and....George Mamaitre stated
he was talking about Privemal Atom theory
and George Gamov settled out of court.
So, once uppon a time, there was just energy.
Then one day, it got so energetic it started
to get real hot and bump around into itself
and make matter, them gravity, then suns, then
planets...and our universe. Now, good night
son, sleep tite.
Where was I, oh yes, the show answered all the
questions human kind has been asking about
the universe for centuries.
I know, I know, but what about the WOMAN,
Oh, the woman, that was no woman, that was
My WIFE.
Email: paulborkowski@galaxy5.com