Mood:  chillin'

So the rent was due 3 days ago, and for the first time in years Im late. I have managed to scratch it together by letting out my last granny flat and two outside rooms and the little catering business my brother and myself have started.....what a relief.........................I THINK OF YOU

BOOTS............GEEZ. I have never made boots before, but I have a beautiful design in my head, ive been struggling with a pattern for 2 days now, I never thought it would be so hard to just make a pair of moccosan style boots, the pair i made looks like a huge pair of boats...My son is a size ten shoe and even on him they are huge giant shoes....IM GOING TO GO CRAZY TRYING TO GET THIS WORKED OUT.

Mood:  don't ask

"WE ARE GOING INTO LIQUIDATION!" Those are the most mindnumbing,heartsearing,stomachwhoosing words u can hear after 13 years of doing the same thing..............day in and day out...........the same thing..........u know how to do it and do it well, u get used to a certain standard of living and then suddenly, the rug is pulled out from under u and everying just crumbles away.

So what do u do? Well first u let the hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach subside, then u.....CRY.......Then when u are finished doing that which normally takes about a week or two.......Then comes the tough part, reality sets in very quickly and u have to decide what kind of person u are, Are u going to lie down and give up or are u going to fight, remain positive and not give into the mind blowing fear which fills every fibre of u.

If u are a widowed/single mom like me then u only have one choice, theres no-one to lean on, no-one to take up the slack, a teenage son who is used to having what he needs, four dogs to feed and a house and bills to pay..........where to from here.............your guess is as good as mine, this is my blog of how I pick my life up.

 Firstly u have to understand that I have been more or less my own boss for the last 16 years, subcontracting to a large company doing a very specialised type of handcraft, I employed about 30 ladies to help me, there is nothing else I am really qualified for, I can work with my hands that I know for sure, I can make, design and create just about anything.....So thats all I have, Im 42 with no qualifications, and no employment history to speak of........here we go!