Anyone can become enraged once in a while. But if you feel rage boiling within almost constantly, or rage erupts from you frequently, you may have an organic illness. On the other hand, you might have suffered some terrible injustice as a child. One major, but largely ignored, category of such abuse is that of boys emotionally, physically, or sexually damaged by women.
This abuse is not only widespread but may be at the root of much subsequent abuse of women by men. Ronald was convinced his mother preferred one of his nephews, adding bitterly, “Though my son was the first grandchild.” Hypnotherapy Heals the Hurt and the Rage Within the comfort of hypnosis Ronald was able to let go of them. He felt forgiveness for his aunt because he knew of her own dreadful background. It was as if to know what she had done to him and with him amounted to torture. A little boy abused by a woman suffers in similar ways to a little girl abused by a man. A male victim of childhood sexual abuse by women displays the following behavior as an adult: >> Distrust of women. >> Fear of intimacy. >> No separate identity. >> Readily feels guilt. >> Hard time to accept compliments.
>> Holds back emotions. >> Protects abuser(s). >> Sexual difficulties. >> Seeks abuser's approval. >> Constantly apologises.
>> Fearful. >> Eager to care for others. >> Joyless. (Adapted from Blanchard, 1987*) The lousy feelings often erupt as rage. Ronald sought professional help to change his vicious behavior toward his wife, Ronald would arrive home disgruntled after a disappointing day (every day was disappointing) in the architectural office where he worked, and an hour's drive to the suburb. Before long, he would be kicking Helen. There was always some pretext for the kicks. (Helen did not have supper ready, or she was on the phone, or she wore a dress he hated...). Ronald never used his fists.
Always his legs. He despaired of his uncontrollable rage because he believed that “Helen was the best thing that had ever happened to me.” As Ronald talked more about his life, his hostility to almost everyone became evident. He was jealous of her contacts with his siblings. Ronald was convinced his mother preferred one of his aunts when he was about four. What she had done to him and with him amounted to torture. It had been so horrible he had repressed the details for years, though “I knew something had happened; I just didn't know what.” Now that he knew what lay at the root of much subsequent abuse of women by men. A little boy abused by a man. In recent times it has become acceptable for women to speak out about the abuse they suffered as little boys at the hands of women. These men are ashamed, and enraged.
They are enraged because society accepts that men can be angry but there is less acceptance for the male victims' feelings of hurt, fear, inadequacy, guilt, embarrassment, and especially weakness and vulnerability. at the least, have troubled relationships with women; at the worst, he may rape and mutilate. A male victim smothers penis enlargement these emotions with anger. In this way, he preserves his masculine image. But the cost is enormous. A man unaware of the deep sources of his anger will, at the least, have troubled relationships with women. Dennis deliberately sought out a woman who would continue the abuse he had suffered as a boy. This is not usually as dramatic or underhanded as Helen's behavior. The disruption comes in the form of doubt.
Your friend may question the effectiveness of hypnosis, and cite the many hypnosis myths that still pollute our minds. Once doubt is planted, hypnosis ends. Doubt and fear keep us from relaxation. And relaxation is the route into hypnotherapy. Dennis, like Ronald, suffered fits of rage. Unlike Ronald, Dennis took these fits out on himself. He would tremble, and shake, and sweat and fear he was about to pass out. Dennis knew his ambition to become a police officer would never be realized unless he got over these fits. Like Ronald, he had troubled relationships with women. Unlike Ronald, Dennis had slept with dozens of women.
All his longer-term relationships collapsed over an aspect of jealousy, his or hers. Didn't matter. Dennis could not trust a woman. Dennis deliberately sought out a male psychotherapist who sometimes used hypnosis.
But so scared was Dennis of going into hypnosis, that he spent several sessions in traditional psychotherapy before he had plucked up enough courage to try hypnosis. He was still frightened, despite the therapist's explanations about the safety of the process. But it was not hypnosis itself that Dennis feared; it was what Mummy and me had been doing. I felt sick.” With psychotherapy while he relaxed in hypnosis, Ronald made some progress toward a healthier life, and control of his rage. Unfortunately, his wife sabotaged the treatment. Ronald, like many sexually abused victims, had (unconsciously) sought out a woman who would continue the abuse he had suffered as a boy. When Helen saw that Ronald was learning to control his rage, to lessen his hostile attitude and to relax, she counterattacked.
Helen had married Ronald because (unconsciously) she wanted a man she could dominate and despise. His therapy threatened to upset the delicate dance of danger they had created. Ronald was swiftly reduced to a sniveling, angry puppet when Helen sneered at his progress and repeatedly reminded him of what a Mummy's boy he had been. A final blow bounced Ronald out of therapy: Helen telephoned the therapist, discussed Ronald's history, and insisted the therapist not mention her call to Ronald.
The following week Helen casually mentioned to Ronald something the therapist had said to her. Ronald felt betrayed [he was] and never returned to therapy. You may be doing very well with hypnotherapy when a friend or relative sabotages your progress..
