The right joining in marriage is the work of the Lord only, and not the priest's or magistrate's; for it is God's ordinance and not man's. We marry none; it is the Lord's work, and we are but witnesses." - George Fox
The Quaker Wedding Ceremony
Since, traditionally, Friends have no clergy, there is no one person to “marry” them. So, in an atmosphere of quiet and reverence during the period of worship, the couple rise. Taking each other by the hand, they make their promises.
When the couple are seated again, the marriage certificate is brought for them to sign. Then someone assigned to do so reads the certificate aloud. The meeting then continues in silent waiting upon God while those assembled share in the worship through prayer and meditation or spoken messages.
The meeting closes by shaking of hands. All present are asked to sign the wedding certificate as witnesses to the marriage.
Ben and Catie's Wedding Ceremony
We have chosen to have a ceremony "after the manner of Friends;" taking a few things from the traditional Quaker ceremony.
From its beginning, the Quakers have stressed the conviction that marriage is a binding relationship a couple enters into in the presence of God, witnessed by family and friends. No third person pronounces a couple husband and wife because Friends believe that only God can create such a union and give it significance.
Like most Quaker meetings, the wedding ceremony is held in silence, waiting for God to move the meeting. Although there is no set ritual or sermon in the Quaker tradition, there is an opportunity for anyone who feels moved by the spirit to give a spoken message or prayer.
Your presence as witnesses and participants is an important part of the wedding. A long-established Friends' tradition, Open Worship is a time of fellowship in the presence of the spirit of God. Friends gather in silence in order to free themselves from distraction and to listen for the leading of the Spirit. Often, although not always, one or more persons will feel led to stand and speak to the meeting, sharing a story, a song, a poem, advice or a prayer. We hope that you will enter into reflection with us and speak if you feel led to do so.
Those who come together for a Quaker wedding do so not only to celebrate but also to witness the union of the bride and groom. As witnesses, those in attendance at the wedding undertake a commitment of their own, to support the bride and groom through times of hardship as well as joy; and when necessary, to hold them accountable for the promises they have made to each other. The Quaker Marriage Certificate documents the vows of the marrying couple and the signatures of all those who witnessed their commitment. The Marriage Certificate will be framed and displayed in our home as a cherished possession, recalling the company of loving family and friends who witnessed our wedding.
We're really excited that you'll be a part of this day with us.
Some links if you're interested:
Matt and Janelle's Quaker Wedding Ceremony: Quaker Wedding A Backyard Wedding - One couple's blog about their Quaker ceremony. Quaker Wedding Certificates Basic Quaker Beliefs and Practice
