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The following promo is brought to us and paid for in full, by the New World Order of Professional Wrestling and Kill Chris Kill the movie.
The CMF returns from a commercial break to see Hollywood Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash standing in the center of the ring surrounding Double J - Jobber Jones. Tazz is trying to check on Michael Cole, who is lying on the floor behind the security barriers. :: Hollywood Hulk Hogan :: You know something brother, there really are some w@nkers here in the CMF, and Kev, me and you are staring at one. Jobber Jones. The hit on men, Jackass. You try and try some promos and they all fucking suck big time. You cant cut shit to save you life on the fucking microphone you loser. You think you are magnificient. You think the fans love you. THe fans call you the biggest loser to walk this green earth. You are lower than scum. You are lower than skip rats. Lower than sewer rats. Lower than hot pants on a New York strippers legs. All the way down. Some of the fans are starting to turn on Hollywood Hulk Hogan: :: Hollywood Hulk HOgan :: Shut your stinking faces. I am a god. I am immortal. You fans suck. Shut your stinking holes. :: Big Sexy Kevin Nash :: You know what Hulk, I noticed that you bumped into Steve AUstin last night.
:: Hollywood Hulk Hogan :: That's right brother. He saw me and came straight over. He said I was a top guy and thanked me for my accomplishments in all of wrestling. :: Big Sexy - Kevin Nash :: And he did the same as well. :: Hollywood Hulk Hogan :: That's right brother. We had a bit of a laugh and ajoke. He asked how I was going brother. And I told him it was fine in the CMF. Told him I had a guy named Jobber Jones. He said, '"WHAT?!?!" and looked at his watch. "TICK TOCK TICK TOCK!. WHAT!?". Whoever you talk to, nobody, and I mean, nobody brother, knows this fucking loser. :: Double J - Jobber Jones :: I know him. I know who I am. I'm J O Double B :: Hollywood Hulk Hogan :: Shut the hell up, brother. :: Big Sexy - Kevin Nash :: Well Austin,bumped into Jobber later. Take a look.
:: Double J - Jobber Jones :: He didn't know who I was. I tried to shake his hand. He just called me a jackass and laughed in my face. :: Hollywood Hulk Hogan :: THats right jabroni. You get no respect from anyone here in the CMF. You suck. Just fucking quit you loser. Take your fucking mouse fucking buddy with you after. Go and hump in a fucking field. :: Double J - Jobber Jones :: Mousiders. Its just sooooooooo SQUEAK!
:: Big Sexy - Kevin Nash :: I guess he's bubble (Jerkaho) and you're SQUEAK. Or are you Minnie and he's Mickey, grow up you sack of shit. How old are you. TWO!?!?! Hollywood Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash laugh at the expense of Jobber Jones. :: Double J - Jobber Jones :: THREE actually. I'm three. Now dont upset me, or mommy will have to come down and wind me to make me burp. I've had a lot of cheese before I came out here. Had a job getting it, had to get it fast before Tom got me. Jerry Ho, nearly got caught though. :: Big Sexy - Kevin Nash :: Dude. You suck. The way that Kevin Nash says that to him, just has some of the audience in stitches. Dude. pause. You suck. At this moment, you could just cut the atmosphere with a knife. :: BIg Sexy - Kevin Nash :: Is there anyone in the world just about as thick as this sack of shite, please put your hand up. Any normal looking people. ANy one?
THe CMFTron then shows a picture of Randy Orton with a stupid face and with his hand up in the air. Just then, pink lights come out and 'Yo te quiero' which translates as 'You two queeros' (as in strange people) by Wisin y Yandel which translates as 'Weeing in the wind' beings to play, and a big fat women comes wobbling out carrying a baby.
:: Tazz :: Yo, is that Pam. God, has she put on weight. :: Pam :: You leave my illigetimate boyfriend alone. :: BIg Sexy - Kevin Nash :: Who the hell is this fat slag. :: Hollywood Hulk Hogan :: It sort of stops me saying who ate all the pies, but who ate all the damn bakers. Pam continues wobbling down to her music, carrying a baby. SHe stops at the bottom of the ramp. :: Pam :: Leave my lover alone. LEave the father of my baby alone. :: Big Sexy - Kevin Nash :: Lover? Geez. No Way. Baby. Dont you mean pig? :: Pam :: No, He is, look I got proof.
The CMF Tron then shows the picture of Pam lying on top of Hitman Chris Jones. Hollywood, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall all look like they are going to throw up. :: Tazz :: Please, take that off the screen. I can see the image through my sunglasses. Its burning an image into the lenses. Noooooooooooo. The nWo Hollywood theme then starts up again, with Eric Bischoff barging down the ramp.
:: Eric BIschoff :: WHoa! Hold it! Hold it. Everyone in the ring looks confused at Eric Bischoff :: Eric Bischoff :: This has got to stop. I cant let this go on any more. I cant let these vulgarities go on any more. Hogan, Nash and Hall raise up their hands. :: Eric Bischoff :: Yeah. I couldnt let this go on, without joining in on the fun. Eric Bischoff smiles. :: Eric Bischoff :: Sorry guys. Just had an interesting conversation with a plumber, doing some repairs backstage. Told me about some guy he's knows called Shitman Piss Jones. They all look at Double J. :: Double J - Jobber Jones :: You got me.
:: Eric Bischoff :: Damn right I did. The mousiders are going to be history and you'll find out why, pretty soon. Very soon. In fact, Chris Jericho the other half of this shite group went back to school this week.
:: Eric Bischoff :: Jerkaho asked the girl how he was doing. She had to tell him 3 comes after 2. He said he'd try and remember that so that one day he could tell Jobber Jones - the Shitman PIss Jones, how to win a match. But with his mental skills, I doubt he'd remember. Bischoff pauses. :: Eric Bischoff :: Jones, after working matches in Japan, America, Canada, flying off from 25-foot hell in a cells, getting cracked over the skull with steel chairs, getting your ass beat up each and every night, (crowd cheer) and being blown up by C4 explosives, there's only two words to say: BREATH MINT!!!" :: Pam :: Now look what you've done, you nasty nasty man. THe baby starts crying. :: Pam :: Look THe cameraman takes a close up of the baby.
:: Big Sexy - Kevin Nash :: SHIT............ MAN...................... Kevin Nash then turns to Jobber Jones. :: Big Sexy - Kevin Nash :: PISS JONES. :: Hollywood Hulk Hogan :: THank god we didnt have the birth on Hogan knows best, brother. :: Pam :: This is Leon. :: Tazz :: Dunno about Leon, more like Neon. Neon lights. Turn the lights off. Geez, that kid is ugly. :: Big Sexy - Kevin Nash :: Looks like a rat boy. A rat boy to join the Mousiders. :: Hollywood Hulk Hogan :: That is just too sweet. :: DOuble J - Jobber Jones :: Hey. I'm J O................. Double B......................E R. ................................... J O..............N............................E............S. Double J. Jobber Jones. :: Eric BIschoff :: We know. Scott Hall then takes off the hat, and the sunglasses. He throws the blone wig to the floor. :: Scott Hall :: Survey Says. One more for the Good guys. Listen here, chico. You wanna take the piss out of Scott Hall. You wanna say bad things about Scott hall. Hey Chico. Scott Hall is gonna carve ........... YOU.................UP! Scott Hall makes the threat to Jobber Jones, I mean, Hitman Chris Jones with his hands. :: Scott Hall :: You want some of the nWo, Chico? Well, Don't sing it............ Bring it. And to all of the CMF. YOu wanna go to war............ You wanna a war............. Well, You gonna get one. Hey Kev? :: Big Sexy - Kevin Nash :: Thats right Scotty. Its time for all talking to finish. Its time for the nWo to show up tomorrow night and do what we do best. Beat people up. :: Hollywood Hulk Hogan :: Thats right brother. So leg injury and all, Mr Bischoff knows that Hogan is more than a match for low life scum like you Shitman. I could beat you within an inch of your life in worse condition than this, so brother, watchca gunna do when the nWo run wild on you. You jabroni. The nWo music then beings to play. Eric Bischoff then delivers a marital arts kick to the fat woman, Pam. Knocking her and the baby to the floor. Eric stands over here with that sick sadistic smile.
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