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Guidelines for Telling The Truth.

We have trouble in admitting our defects-- even to ourselves, much more so to our partners. If you and your partner are feeling unloved and lonesome, however you try to cover it up by stating that everything is fine, you will continue to feel isolated. To continue to trick ourselves with our partner hampers the intimacy of the relationship.

A relationship has the potential to provide a healthy way to come to terms with our issues, both personal and interpersonal. Accepting the truth, and talking about it, can free us of pain and set the stage for a healthier future. The worries dissipate when we share our worries within the context of our partner's caring understanding and acceptance. The issues we have been hanging on to alone for so long lose their force when they are shown someone who loves us. Telling the truth can reduce the barriers that isolate us from our partners. It can lead to a new level of self-acceptance and authenticity in our own lives-- and this in turn results in a more powerful level of dedication and intimacy in our relationship. The truth can make us entire and set us free.

Here are some guidelines for telling the truth -

If you plan to develop healing, clarity, or a much deeper sense of intimacy within the relationship, your intention will most likely lead to these results. If, on the other hand, you desire to make yourself look good and your partner look bad-- or if you desire to hurt your partner-- then distrust will certainly result from the communication.

Assess how well your partner can handle the truth. When your partner might not be all set to have wholehearted talks, there are times. An idea to this is when your partner continually rejects, or is unable to hear, your attempts at increased nearness. If your partner has the tendency to become defensive, if there is a history of fighting when serious issues are discussed, if your partner is unable to honor your personal information and cannot keep a secret, or if there is a history of betrayal-- then it might be best to exercise informing the truth with another person, not your partner. Then, when you feel comfortable in telling the truth and trusting, it will certainly be time to take part in heartfelt talks with your partner. Some people prefer to start the procedure alone with a therapist, since they are trained to listen non-judgmentally and are less likely to take things personally.

You could be afraid getting hurt or hurting your partner's sensations. You could feel that you will be misinterpreted or that your partner will certainly evaluate you negatively. The higher goal is to communicate truthfully with your partner in order to have a more satisfying relationship, and this indicates having the nerve to face your worries.

Accept the fact that your partner does not have to agree with you. Many of us are afraid to have intimate talks with our partners unless they agree with everything we need to state. This leads not so much to intimacy, which includes a sharing and approval of our distinctions, as it does to regulate battles and seclusion from our partners. Accept, and even treasure, your partner's individuality. 2 people can be right at the same time in a relationship-- it's just a matter of two different interpretations of the same events. Intimacy occurs in between two complete, entire individuals, each of whom honors their partner's way of taking a look at the world.

Telling the truth can bring down the obstacles that isolate us from our partners. If, on the other hand, you desire to make yourself look great and your partner appearance bad-- or if you want to injure your partner-- dig this then distrust will result from the communication.

Examine how well your partner can deal with the truth. If your partner tends to end up being defensive, if there is a history of battling when major concerns are discussed, if your partner is not able to recognize your individual information and cannot keep a key, or if there is a history of betrayal-- then it might be best to practice telling the truth with another individual, not your partner. When you feel comfortable in telling the truth and trusting, it will be time to engage in heartfelt talks with your partner.

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