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Information is presented here about how to heal your past.
This is a sensitive topic.

In no way do I intend to minimize difficult, painful or traumatic life experiences. These circumstances are real. They are legitimate. They hurt. And they impact our lives.

I have been through my own. I have also been through years of healing work. Most of that work resulted in little, or no, long-term success because much healing work keeps us stuck in the grip of our negative circumstances.

But I did find what worked for me and I want to share it with you so that you, too, can heal your past and overcome personal growth and development barriers.

Some of what I will share may seem offensive. It may seem that it minimizes your pain. It felt that way to me at first, too. But it doesn’t minimize your pain. It simply works to move you past it.

The information presented here is for informational purposes only. And it is for individuals who are ready to move forward. It is also completely up to you whether you use it or not. It is only one view.

If you feel that you need help with deeply painful concerns before moving on here, please see a licensed psychologist or other mental health professional. Addressing crisis situations, trauma or deep-seated pain is beyond the scope of this website (and is not part of coaching).

If you are ready to move forward, please read on.

Although your experiences are real and legitimately painful, they don’t need to have power over you. They don’t need to continue to hold you back from being, doing and having all you can be, do and have in life.
You can choose to:

• become aware of it
• face it
• feel it
• acknowledge it
• understand it
• forgive it
• move forward

Let’s look at each one very briefly . . .

Become Aware Of It

The first step to any change is awareness. If you aren’t aware of something, you can’t do anything about it. When you’re aware of it, you can choose – to leave it as it is or change it . . . in this case, heal your past.

Most likely, if something very painful has occurred in your life, and you’re ready to move forward, you’re aware of it at some level. Or, your behavior or life circumstances are an indication that something more is going on e.g. you may be angry, or a workaholic, or unsettled.

Although it can feel scary, you have to let the awareness come. Slow down. Get out of the busyness that keeps you running. Sit with the unsettled feeling and let it take you to the core of the pain. Go somewhere by yourself and meditate. Get together with someone you trust and talk through the situation. Express your anger by journalling, creating artistic works or by getting it out in healthy physical ways e.g. gardening, running, punching a pillow. Allow yourself to go to what’s underneath the anger. Write down what you learn.

In addition to becoming more aware of your pain to heal your past, become aware of whether or not you’re being a victim. Yes, painful things happened to you. But you can choose how you respond now.

That’s really what this information is all about. When you hold onto your past and allow it to negatively influence your life, you may be choosing to live as a victim. When you choose to move forward, you come out of victimhood and into power.

Face It

Once you let the awareness come to the surface, admit it.

Admit what happened to you. Admit that it hurt. Admit that up until now it has impacted your life in some negative ways. Admit that you’ve been living as a victim. Tell your victim story. Write it down. Get really honest.

Feel It

Let yourself feel the pain . . . the sadness . . . the anger . . . the grief . . . the confusion. Your feelings are real.

Don’t suppress them. Don’t close off from feelings or from life. Opening up is how you’ll heal your past.

Journal your feelings. Draw them. Sing them. Run them. Talk about them. Feel where they occur in your body. Feel until you’ve gotten everything out.

Acknowledge It

Acknowledge these feelings. They’re out in the open now. Keep them there.

Understand It

Your understanding of your pain will depend on your belief system.

You may believe that you went through your pain in order to learn something. You may believe that it must have been God’s will. You may believe that bad or painful or destructive things happen because of the evil in the world. You may believe that you created the situation for your highest good. You may believe that God was with you throughout it.

Whatever your beliefs are, find that place of understanding for your situation.

Forgive It

You can come to the realization that whoever it was did the best they could with what they knew at the time. You can come to view others as human beings journeying through life and learning as they go.

You can choose now to see the good. You can heal your past by letting go of its destructive hold on you.

Move Forward

You can choose to see learning opportunities in your situation. You can take responsibility for your life from now on. You can live in the present. You can choose not to be a victim anymore. In fact, rip up your victim story that you wrote to symbolically declare that you’re moving on.

You can choose to know that who you are is worthy no matter what.