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It's days like today, and the last few, that I realise being 'me' isn't all that easy. No doubt we all say that at some point in our lives. I seem to have been saying it most of my life. 


It's the demons, you see. Those pesky demons keep coming back and it's getting harder and harder to live with them. Getting older was meant to be easier. We were meant to have it all figured out, most of it anyway. I don't. Lately, I find myself asking, "what's my purpose in life?" and I come up blank every time. 


Yet as I ponder, the world keeps turning, time keeps ticking, the days keep coming and going and I end up no closer to knowing why I am here and how to survive than when I first sat down. 


So here is my brain in a webpage. An output for the madness that haunts my waking world and the insanity that plagues my sleep. Maybe this is what I was meant to do. Document the misery, the misery. Try in some small way to make sense of the feeling of being 'me'. Maybe it could help someone else one day. 


Am I making the right choice? Am I doomed to a constant cycle of never knowing? Will I wilt and die in this world of mortals? Will this oppression crush my spirit? Is society to blame for these feelings of misery or have I abandoned society and ruined my chances of living? So many questions, possibly without an answer. 


If you'd like to join me, I warn you, it will not be happy. If you choose not to, then I understand. Alone I walk with these uncertainties, forever and ever.