Ambition is a heavy thing

For if it's good our heart will sing.

But if our head does work for ill

Then our whole life will pay the bill.

“Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” (Proverbs 25:20 New International Version)

One of the many definitions of ambition is: “to seek after earnestly; aspire to.” We who are in the midst of struggling with our addictions find that seeking wholeness of life is indeed a heavy burden, both for ourselves and for others. However, merely seeking to be free of our addictive thoughts, words, or behaviors is not enough. We can only climb out of the addictive pit in which we find ourselves if we recognize and admit to ourselves and others that we have mentally, physically and spiritually “hit bottom” and have lost control of our lives. We both want and fear that admission for then the only response can be to take that first step toward healing our relationship with our self and others. This can be a very painful experience for all involved and is never an easy road. Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese artist & poet in US (1883 - 1931), wrote: “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” As we feel the pain of change let us remember that our “heart will sing” and that our song will be in harmony with the lives of others who we have, and will, touch throughout our life.

Anger it often does come next

Ourselves or others we do vex.

The outside hurt is often least

Our inside hurts make us a beast.

…”For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:20 New International Version)

Like many addictive feelings anger brings about resentment and hostility, both in our-selves and in others. Harriet Lerner (The Dance of Anger, 1985) writes, “Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.” This is especially true in those caught up in the circle of addiction. Although anger is also present in some mental illness disorders, anger is a key component in addiction. That anger takes many forms which are directed at a particular person, situation or thing. Depression is often anger turned inward and self-harmful actions are “suicide on the installment plan.” Understanding the sources of that anger is a healthy stop on the way to a better life. James, in verse 1:21 goes on to write. “Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” One cannot save oneself alone, but giving oneself over to a higher power can lead to that salvation from addiction. One may want change, but to quote James Gordon, M.D., “It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.” With the help of your family, your friends and your God; Are you ready to make a change?

Abandonment is hard for all

This feeling makes us feel so small.

For when we feel, oh, so alone

Our soul is chilled right to the bone.

 "For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.” (Isaiah 54:7 New International Version)

It is interesting to note that Isaiah, in this verse, is referencing that the Lord left Israel (“In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment.” verse 8) for the people of Israel had ceased to follow the ways of the Lord. We, no matter our addiction, are so self centered that we only perceive the abandonment we feel from others because we do not accept that we have no control over our addictions unless we face up to our own actions and responsibilities. Very often we want to follow a path to a healthy life but we find ourselves doing otherwise. Paul (Romans 7:19) says it best; “For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.” It is we who have abandoned ourselves, our friends and our Lord by walking away from the life each of us deserve. The Lord and our family and friends will not abandon us if we turn to Him and to them in our time of need and accept our inability to “go it alone.”

Behaviors are the worst by far

When we the souls of others mar.

This can be done by words or deeds

Addictive tares are Satan's seeds.

“This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.” (John 3:19 New International Version)

Addictive behaviors are especially harmful to those we love and who love us. We may not plan on this but our words and actions are like ripples on the sea of life, spreading outward and touching everything. Quantum physics, which began with the study of the interactions of matter and radiation, is analogous to the effects our addictive behaviors have on others. In Quantum physics terms, our addictive words and deeds are packets of energy which influence the world around us. The probability of obtaining a negative outcome from this energy is extremely high. Thus, we might say that our addictive behaviors are the “dark energy” of our personal universe—unseen but yet influential in ways that may not yet be comprehensible. However, unlike Quantum physics, we do not live in a multi-verse world. Our world, at least for now, is a very temporal one in which we interact every day. Whether one believes in an afterlife or just in living a moral and upright life until we die, addictions counteract our hopes and dreams for the future. Whether you believe Satan is a fallen angel and an evil adversary of God and humanity or whether you believe that Satan is simply the personification of evil, when addictions rule our lives the outcome is the same. As the old adage states: “Whether the picture hits the stone or the stone hits the pitcher, it’s going to be bad for the pitcher.” Acknowledgment that our words and deeds are harmful to others is another point on our path to a healthier life.

A tare can be a simple thought

Into which we all get caught.

Feelings can also be a tare

When we our feelings do not share.

"I set a trap for you, Babylon, and you were caught before you knew it; you were found and captured because you opposed the LORD." (Ecclesiastes 9:12 New International Version)

Our addictions set many traps for us while we go merrily on life’s way, denying our thoughts, actions and beliefs. When caught up in our addictive patterns we ignore some simple codes of life: act justly, show mercy and walk in the ways of the Lord. Easier said than done? True! But whether it be a 12 step program or a supportive family or social network, just the accepting the first step (admitting we are powerless over our addiction and that our lives had become unmanageable) is a great beginning.

Tares Of Addiction

 Addictive tares are things that be
Bad for you and bad for me.
Tares are weeds that bind the soul
And from our lives they take a toll.

"I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be  bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." (Matthew 16:19 New International Version)

Addictions come in many forms; alcohol, drug, food, sex, and many others. Tares in the Scriptures, were a weed of grainfields and considered a seed of evil. No Matter the addiction, we all get caught up in thoughts, feelings or behaviors which inhibit our personal, spiritual, and  social growth. I hope my thoughts will be of some use to others.