A mother gives birth to her son and adores him as no one else does. He is indeed the apple of her eye. She has nurtured him in her womb for nine months. A mother is the most important woman in a child’s life. She dotes on him. As he grows up she dreams of getting him a wife. But the problem begins when the son actually gets married.
The Mother’s Woes
It has been observed that many mothers often develop feelings of insecurity when their sons get married. They feel that they are gradually losing control over their son. This makes them feel worried and depressed. They begin to have a secret dislike for the daughter in law and see her as an evil person who has snatched away her son from her. Hence, her behaviour begins to change and the new bride can sense the displeasure. This leads to fights. The poor son is caught in the middle of this. He is stuck between the devil and the deep sea. Often things become so extreme that he loathes going back home. Eventually he develops relationship anxiety.
The Son’s Woes
The son is not able to say anything neither to his mother nor to his wife. If he dares to take the side of his mother he is branded as “mama’s boy” and conversely if he takes the side of his wife he becomes a “henpecked husband”. He tries his level best to resolve the differences but in case he fails to do so he begins to suffer from relationship anxiety. He begins to lose his confidence and feels inadequate. If he plans to move out of his house then he may suffer from guilt pangs of not being able to be a good son. Relationship anxiety has crept into his life and is gradually becoming more and more prominent. At times he may be forced to separate from his wife. In this case this broken relationship makes him bitter and he begins to loathe the institution of marriage itself. Thus, here too he has developed relationship anxiety. He feels that he has failed as a husband and was not capable of sustaining a relationship. He retreats into his shell and may even develop vices. At a later stage he may not be able to sustain any relationship and he may even give up trying.
Pre-marital counselling is a good idea and it is recommended that the mother in law and the would- be daughter in law have a healthy relationship and understand each other so that they can lead a life of harmony and bliss without the shadows of relationship anxiety in their lives.
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