Boy-Oh-boy where do I start?? 

On July 1st, 2005,  I fled Texas with my 5 children, grandaughter and dog due to never ending and more increasing Domestic Violence.  The term "Domestic Violence" was all new to me, however, the ongoing rages and fits of violence weren't. 

I was married for 21.5 years at the time that I left my husband.  Although I had undergone verbal and emotional abuse for the entire duration of my marriage, the physical abuse was on occasion and had been increasing a lot lately.  

It had gotten to a point of no return and was no accident.  My husband had become increasingly violent and I had no choice but to remove the kids and I from our home.

It was late June and my husband had lost his temper with our 7 year old son...  he was so angry, he started hitting him in the head--the hits lasted what seemed forever as I ran across the room to stop him.  He was so angered that I stopped him, that he stood up (had been crouched over as our son had fallen to the floor) and started spitting in my face telling that he would KILL me. 

This was not the first time, nor the second time that he had threatened to do so and due to the increasing physical abuse, I knew that he indeed was serious--I had stood up to him and this was an act I NEVER did.  Never.  When ever he would throw a fit, I would go into what I call "shut-down" and let him run his course w/o "talking back" as he would say.  What he said went and that was that--there was no discussing it as that was considered "back-talking."

Mind you--all 5 kids were present and it wasn't all too long before this that he had choked me in the presence of the kids and in fact, our oldest son was able to run outside and crawl under the car with the cordless phone to call the police--Ihe was able to talk his way out of the incident--but this time the police were a bit skeptical so they filed a report and said if there was another incident, he was being charged for both crimes and taken to jail.

It wasn't all too long before than incident that our oldest son had ran to a neightbors house to call the police on his father for hitting him violently in the head...He had been hit so hard I could hear the "popping" for some distance away--I was in the house sleeping and they had a fight outside on the front porch--the "pop" woke me up and by the time I ran to help our son was running down the street saying "why did you do that?"  Screaming "Oh my god!  It hurts so bad!"  the police came and my ex-husband was able to convince them that he was only correcting his son and that he had only slapped him.... they took no action...

It wasn't all too long before that that my ex-husband had sat all of the kids down on the couch-had me by the neck in a choke hold- against the couch telling the kids if I ever left him that he would kill me, them and then himself...they begged me not to leave him...  

So, anyhow, back to the recent incident-- I got the kids calmed down and we were able to leave the house--I took them swimming for a little while. All during the night I kept waking up scared afraid of what was going to happen next.  In the morning on my way to work, I went into a panic--I realized that I had to try and get us out of the house--we didn't have any more chances and he was too good at convincing the police that he was just maintaining control of his household and that next time he blew a fit it might cost us one of our lives. 

I could take no more and knew in spite of what ever happened I would have to seriously create a Safety plan and get us out of there safely.  We were absolutely broke at the time.  Joe had been working as a consultant/contractor and hadn't received pay in weeks and we had depleteted our savings. 

I called upon my family for help.  Having no local family to rely on as my family resides in CA--I called them to help.  All the years before, I had read over and over the safety plans for domestic violence that are posted in doctors offices and waiting rooms.  I had memorized what I had to do when the time came.  Mind you, I was always afraid to take action as my ex-husband is very cleaver and very manipulating--in fact, my life resembled the movie "Sleeping with the Enemy."  

Anyhow, my family being poor, nobody had money...  However, if I could just hold on till Friday, they could send me some when they got paid.  I was able to walk on broken glass/egg shells and keep things somewhat calm over the next few days until I got the money to go.  When the money came in, I packed up and headed home with the kids.   That was on Friday, July 1, 2005. 

My mini-van was in pretty decent shape, however, the tires were not all that great.  This was another issue Joe and I had recently argued about--I had pointed out that my tires had some really odd wear on them and I was worried.  He would yell at me that the tires were fine..  Well, I stood correct, on the way to CA, I had to replace 2 tires due to blow outs.  This delayed our trip and it took us forever to make it there... We arrived at my brothers home in Novato, CA on July 7th. In fact, ironically, Joe called within the hour of our arrival.  I later learned that our oldest son had been in communication with his father since the time we left Texas--Joe knew our every move, our every stop, etc.

On August 3, 2005, I filed for a Protective Order to protect the kids and I in Marin County Superior Court, San Rafael, CA.  On August 6, 2005, Joe was served the Protective Order at our home in Keller, Texas by Constable Zane Hilger's office.  When served, Joe threw a screaming fit at the Constable.  Cussing, throwing the papers down, etc.--his behavior was noted on the Proof of Service form.  Our hearing was going to be held on August 24, 2005.

When I appeared at court on August 24, 2005, I was served divorce papers by the Marin County Sheriff/Baliff's from Judge Lynn Duryee's court room.  

Our hearing on August 24, 2005, was postponed until September 2, 2005.  After full trial, statements and testimony was heard ---Joe didn't appear but had an attorney present on his behalf-- the case was taken under submission by Judge Lynn Duryee.  Later that day her decision was released and the kids and I were granted a 3 year Protective Order from Joe. 

According to the divorce papers, my answer was due back to the 233rd District Court in Tarrant County by 10AM on September 19th, 2005.  Due to my financial problems, I was unable to obtain counsel.  All of the agencies that could or were supposed to assist me back in Tarrant County, refused to because opposing counsel was Bryan Walter--he has a terrible reputation for being unethical.  Every single person that I spoke to regarding Mr. Walter said I wouldn't have enough money and they do not have enough time to take on a case involving him as he will cheat, lie and beat a dead horse in order to win. 

Due to not being able to find help, I drafted my own answer back to the court.  I paid money for UPS to deliver it so that it would be on time and in the court's hands with a proof of delivery time noted.  My answer was received and signed for by the mailroom supervisor 32 minutes before its deadline.