APPLE PIPS THAT MAKE MIRACLE!
It was on a long railroad travel and I was sitting in a second class compartment with the other young man on the opposite of me. As everything was going smoothly, I took a clean handkerchief out of my pocket and spread it over the little table under the window. I had two fresh red apples with me and on this moment I’d like to eat them. A little silver pocket knife was always with me and I started to peel the first red apple. Then I cut it in four pieces and take carefully all the pips out of them and lay them beside in a little plastic bag.
The man on the opposite has followed every one of my moves very sharply! Then he ask me why I did this pips by side in a little bag? I told him, that this pips were very special! Why?? Well this pips are very good for your brains, you become very smart after eating them. “You’re kidding me!” “No, it’s the very truth!” “Can I eat some??” he asked me. “Of course, I said, but they are not cheap at all!! A dollar for one pip!” “ And how many I’ll need?” “Well, that’s not to tell, I should say, start with ten!” “Okay, here you go.” And he gives me a ten dollar note. I handed him the ten pips over and he started to chew them very carefully. As he was ready with to chewing them down, he looked around and you could see, his mind together with his eyes were full of expectations! “ I feel nothing” he said. And I told him that it was not said that ten was enough for everybody. Someone need some more!? “Okay.”
Then give me another five pips, but I don’t want any more thereafter!” “No problem at all” I said. He gives me a five dollar note and I give him the five pips! Again chewing and looking around. Then he looked at me and said; „But sir, if I had bought apples for fifteen dollars, I had much more pips!!” “You see it works! You became smart!” HAHAHA…
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THE 15 DOLLAR CENT WONDER!
It isn’t what it was anymore!
I still remember, it was in this year’s direct after world war two, that I came home from school and found our living room filled up with people. They were friends of my parents and they came total unexpected! My father took me by side and while he a five dollar note in my hand slipped, asked me as soon as possible a bottle of whiskey to buy in the pub on the end of the road. No problem, I was already underway .Halfway I passed the shop of our grocer and really, I don’t know why, but I looked in his display window and stood still with a shock! There after the glass, stood a bottle of the finest whiskey, with on the top a price tag from $.15!!! FIFTEEN US dollar cent!! Why should I go that other shop?
During that time, everybody knows everybody, so the grocer asked me as it was my turn. “Anthony, what can I do for you?” “Well Mister Schiller, my father wants to have a bottle of whiskey for fifteen cent! It was really silent in the shop for one moment, but then he told me friendly, to tell my father, that the price for his whiskey was much higher than fifteen dollar cent!!
He just turned around to the next client how to serve him, as I told him, that there in his display; there was a bottle of whiskey, with a price on the top from fifteen dollar cent! Impossible young man, do you think that I’m crazy? No sir, but if you would be so kind and have a look on it, you’ll see it by yourself.
O.K. then, I’ll give you a minute. Tree other clients leaved the shop with us, to see what really was going on! And……everybody looked up to the whiskey bottle of she just was landed from another planet! There was indeed that price bag from fifteen dollar cent on his top! “Yehhhh” said Mr.Schiller.”Now I see what is happen!” That little price bag is falling down from there above, from the sugar meats! They are fifteen cents apiece!”
“But the price of that whiskey is $4, 50 include the disposed! You understand Anthony?? “Yes I understand you Mr., Schiller, but he is now priced for fifteen dollar cent and that is the price I’ll pay you”! Now listen to that greenhorn! He really thinks that I’ll sell him that bottle whiskey for fifteen cent! Incredible! NO, NO, NO and again no!! Go Home.”
In the meantime, more and more people came and want to know what was going on there. Everybody was convinced about his own mean until finally the Sheriff came in between and asked for silence and order, so he could talk with Mister Schiller and me. First I should tell him my story and then Mister Schiller the grocer. “And now he thinks that I have to sell him that bottle whiskey for fifteen dollar cent Sir” Finished Mister Schiller his story!
“Well, this is for sure a strange story, but I’m so sorry for you Mister Schiller, in this case Mr. Anthony is right!!! The bottle is priced for fifteen dollar cent and you have to sell him that now for that price!!” But, but…. Sorry Mr. Schiller but I can’t change anything, it’s the law! Everyone was going his own way already and I was going with the Sheriff and the grocer back in the store. Mr. Schiller gave me the bottle and I paid him the fifteen dollar cents!
Finally I leaved the store together with the sheriff and after a few steps he stopped me. “Anthony” he said, „ You bad boy. Didn’t you see that distressed face from Mr. Schiller, as he handed you over that bottle whiskey for fifteen dollar cent”? Oh sheriff, that’s nothing. You have to come back tomorrow as I come back with the empty bottle and he has to pay me twenty five cent deposit!!!!!!
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PIGLETS
A young farmer who has just started to build up his farm has bought a very good and healthy sow on the cattle market. The next day he discussed with his wife Anna, where to go with these sow, to become piglets as soon as possible. She recommended him to put her into the wheelbarrow and have a look by some neighbor farmers; maybe one of them would have a boar! That was a good acceptable idea and so he was underway with his sow in the wheelbarrow to his first neighbor farmer. As he came there and asked the farmer if he had a boar, the answer was positive, so he doesn’t has to go somewhere else. He has to pay only one hundred US dollar and he agree. As the two pigs where busy with their duty, he asked his neighbor, who he would know if his sow was impregnated? “You see,” his neighbor said, „You have to look in the early morning. If she sits in the mud she not, but if she sit in the grass, then she is impregnated!” “Okay, thanks for that” “You’re welcome.”
The next morning the young farmer was full of expectations and had a look where his sow would be. Damned, he found here in the mud! He put her again into the wheelbarrow and walked his way to his neighbor again. “Could you take care that your boar does his duty a little bit better?” “Okay, I’ll give it a try, no problem.” He go to the sow and rubbing with his right hand between her hind legs, until his hand was much wed. Then he took his boar and rubbing his wedded hand in his nose and face. The boar roared as wild and take the sow really strong and heavy! “That’s good! That’s really good! Now we will see tomorrow morning.” The young farmer said and he carried his sow home again.
He was really disappointed the next morning if he didn’t find his sow on the grass, but she was neither in the mud, so where she was? He saw he wife Anna and asked her if she has seen the sow “Oh yes, I have seen her; she is already waiting in the wheelbarrow!!”
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TRAIN TICKETS
Daily we’re traveled to our work from our Dutch home city Maastricht to the Belgium city Leuven. We were with four of us and we were two Dutch and two Belgium man. We also were sitting every day together into the same compartment as well. The Belgium guy’s on the opposite of us.
At one day, my friend asked the Belgium guy’s; „How many tickets do you have?” “Well each of us has one ticket, why?” “You see, we have only one ticket for both of us!” “Wow and how do you do that?” “You have to see that first before you belief it!” It was a long compartment and we were sitting with our back against the one end of the compartment and the controller came always from the other site to cut the tickets. It was a daily routine job.
In the middle of the compartment, there was as well on the left, as well on the right site a toilet. The controller came closer and closer to the toilets, as my friend stand up and go’s into the left toilet. In the very last second I followed him and closed the door. As the controller saw the toilet was occupied, he knocked on the door and asked for the ticket, I shove it through under the door, he cut it and sends it back the same way. No problem at all! „Do you have seen it?” I asked the Belgium guy’s. “Oh yes, great and easy game!”
The very next day, we asked them again; „ And how many tickets do you have now?” “Of course, only one!” “Very good, because we have not one!” “You really have no ticket?” “No, we don’t have!” “And how you do that?” “You’ll see!”
There came the controller and started cut the tickets as always. After a while I said to one of the Belgium guy’s; „We have to go now, you go to the toilet on the right site, I’ll take the left site, okay?” “Okay.” If they just where inside, my friend said to the other guy; “Don’t wait longer, go and close the door!” “Okay.” In the last moment, my friend stand up, go to the Belgium guy’s, knocked on their door and as the ticket came from under their door, he takes it and came to me and closed the door! Perfect timing!! There was the controller already. We shoved the ticket to him, he cut it, send it back and then we waited! Out site there was starting a lot of commotion and we slipped away out of our toilet, easy because the controller was totally and complete focused on the two poor Belgium guy’s!!
They never have forgiven us this joke!!
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